Stress Center Peer Support

I am constantly thinking about death ALL the time. I am always thinking about my funeral in detail and who would be there. I keep thinking I am running out of time and I am not ready to die...sounds rediculous but I stress when things arent done (like my house is a mess etc) because if I were to die it would be a huge mess. I think it might have to do with the fact that my cousin and her best friend died 3 xmas' ago and my ex boyfriend died 1 yr ago. I am sick of thinking this way. Everyone says to start focusing on the now, but how do I do that? It is a lot harder than it sounds. How can I focus on the now and enjoy life and stop fearing death? Am I crazy?

Jules - I can relate to you. My husband has a hard time believing that I think about it so much but its very true. When I am doing somethiing with my husband or kids I think about them doing it with me gone. I have also "pictured" my own funeral. I don't know why I do it - I am doing very well with my anxiety but I still have some of those same reoccuring thoughts. You just have to tell your self that your ok and do something to get your mind of those terrible thoughts. I really feel for you. Hang in there - it will get better.