Stress Center Peer Support

In addition to my usual anxiety now I have the constant panic of finding an adequate job. I worked as a police officer and let me tell you hiding panic attacks on duty is a good time! I transfered to the Office of Cheif Medical Examiner because I'm working on my Masters in Forensics and I thought it would be good work experience. Surprisingly, I didn't really have many panic attacks probably becuase I only lasted a day and a half. My job was to assist in autopisies and remove remains from the scenes of death. The gore didn't bother me, it was dealing with so much grief so I resigned. My job at the police department was already filled so now I'm working as low level administrative assistant. Its okay for the time being but I'm also supporting my wife while she finishes with law school and getting ready to pass the bar. I've been applying to jobs for 5 months and havn't heard anything back. Not even rejection letters. I have all the faith in the world that once my wife passes the bar at the end of july she'll get a great job. But if things dont change by August we'll be in trouble. I'm sure we'll both have good jobs by then but I cant stop obessing about it. I search job postings all day and if I slack off for a day I feel guilty like I'm not doing everything I can to get a job to support my family. My wife is very caring and supportive and confident we'll be okay but my anxiety makes me think about it constantly. I'm trying the stress tape to relax and trying to think positive and stop what if thinking and just trust that with all the work i've put into my education and my family that things will work out.

Hello, I am new to this program, I also have been unemployed for over 6 months depending on my husband for financial support, and I feel real guilty about it because I have always been able to stand on my own two. Now things have changed. Unlike you, I do get rejection letters, and let me tell you, they are not very helpful, because I get real down, and feel hopeless....All I can say is to keep trying, something is out there for you, just don't give up, although I feel like it at times, my husband is a good man, and helps me along. I just finished applying to like 10+ jobs, some may work out, some may not, but the important thing is for us not to stop trying...Good luck in your search....

LCA

I began the new year unemployed due to lower back problems and tried to work from home. It ended up being a lousy experience and I found myself getting increasingly more anxious and feeling out of sorts. I felt a lot of guilt and isolation because my wife worked full time and supported the household while I felt pretty useless. Working the program and with my therapist I slowly started feeling better and started applying for work. I must have tried with 50+ companies and never received one rejection letter from anyone. I finally did find work recently and am working at a level way below my skill level and pay expectations. But working is therapy in itself and I'm using this as a springboard back to where I want to be. Using myself as an example, though I don't make as much as I used to I am making something and it is helping out our household a lot. It is giving me self-esteem and hope for the future as well. Is there something you could do temporarily to fill in the gap of time?

SPARKUS - you're a wise man my friend.

I was home for 3 1/2 yrs recovering fr anxiety disorder & PTSD. Anxiety disorder was responsible for my inability to work. This was foreign to me. I had 18 + yrs solid working experience on Wall St + a college education. To add to my misery then, lol(I can now joke about it) - everyone I knew worked: my husband, our family, & friends. So, while I was home alone for all this time, they were out & about. Then,everyone has spouses/children/homes,etc - they were very busy. I grew very lonely.

Once I recovered fr anxiety disorder, depress set in as a result of the journey. My being home still exagerated it. My therapist had just increased my Wellabutrin to 450mg. I was shocked. I went home & I cried. I had my moment for about 2 seconds. Then, I said to myself - HELL NO! There was nothing new in my life to increase this depress other than my being home. I knew this. So, I told my husband, I AM GETTING A JOB & GOING BACK TO WORK. I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. You see, for 3 1/2 yrs my all was anxeity disorder + therapy + recovery + Lucinda's program + then depress. I needed to get out amongst people. I needed my own things, outside of my husband, I needed fulfillment. Those 4 walls were only depleting my spirit.

Ok, so what did I do? Once I decided to go back to work, I followed Lucinda's advice. I set myself up for the best chances of success. I got a job at our local CVS PHARMACY just over 1 1 1/2 mths ago. . I was a frequent customer & they were always nice & friendly & quite professional. I got a job as their PHOTO TECHNICIAN(lol, my official title) - I process all photo order: digital & 35mm. Now, I never worked RETAIL before. In addition, the salary would be no where near what I was last making. ALL THAT WASN'T THE POINT. <span class="ev_code_RED">What I was looking for & needed w/ this job - was priceless. It was worth more to me than any money CVS could ever afford to pay me. I was ready to move ready to move on - to take the 1st step of the rest of my life. I wanted back into mainstream America - amongst folks, esp working. Working fulfills me. This job @ CVS was simply the PLATFORM for me to make all these things happen. I knew exactly what I was doing. CVS was & is TRAINING FOR ME - getting me used to working again, handling: responsibility + respective anxiety + stress + self esteem- the true belief in myself, etc. LOL - CVS IS 1 BIG PRACTICE SESSION, lol(I'm kissing up to Lucinda now folks, lol)CVS was going to aid me proving to myself that I really am very smart & capable of many things. CVS is simply my springboard.</span>

CVS isn't all I want. I am focused now man. I want to return to college & get my bachelor's in accounting. I want a career change - 1 outside of & NOT INCLUDING Banks/Brokerage firms = Wall St. Once I know I am ready, I will leave CVS & take a "TEMP TO PERM" accounts payable/receivables entry level job in NJ. This way, I can gain experience - set a foundation, in my DREAM FIELD. All in due time.

The point is, go for it - go out there & get a little something - working will build you up & give you such inner strength. You can do it, I know you can.

LENORE

Then I get nervous about getting a new job! The what if thinking starts in. What if its a job in teh city and I cant handle driving in the traffic and being in the city! I'm only on week 2 of the program and I'm really looking forward to the what if section of the program. I'm using the positive self talk now. I've had stressful jobs all along, 911 operator, patrolman, morgue technition! I can certainly handle anything else that comes along. I just get nervous that nothing will come along! But like my wife keeps saying is to stay positive and keep trying!

I use to be a telephone operator for 11 years and I know if you have done the jobs you mentioned you are strong and you will find another job. Make sure your resume is up-to-date and put it out on Monster.com or other job hunters. You will be surprised they will start contacting you. Working through a temp agency is a good way to try on an employer and for them to try on you. Good luck!

I know how you feel when you say you feel useless or about not providing for the family. I'm a stay at home Mom and the guilt kills me sometimes. I feel I don't contribute enough or the fair amount. I realize that by me staying home I'm saving like $2000.00 a month in child care and gas and all those exspenses but I'm the one who feels guilty about not working when the bills are stackes and they are. I have a small p/t job outside the house and every bit helps on both the $ part and for me getting out of the house for my sanity. I've recently started trying to work at home on the internet but it causes me some anxiety because I worry about me "failing". I try to be positive and tell myself, well I just learned something here then and get on with it attitude. But Man, I have my days- Good Luck to all!

kreilly27 - keep banging on doors - sooner rather than later an opportunity will present itself.
I'm going for an interview myself tomorrow - I am currently employed but I really want to make a change so a few weeks ago I braved filling out an application thinking I'd never even get a call - so far they've called twice to tell me more about the position and ask if I had any questions - I'm hoping that is a good sign and I can seal the deal tomorrow but I'm trying to keep myself from getting to hopeful as I don't want to be crushed by a rejection.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason so keep trying. I don't know if you've tried looking or posting on Craigslist but that is a good place to look for job listings.
My prayers are with ya!