Stress Center Peer Support

Hi I am pretty new to this forum and what I am finding is my biggest problem is that I can't turn off my mind and I don't know how to relax. No matter how tired i am when I head to bed I all of a sudden feel anxious and I have trouble sleeping. Sometimes I have to take a xanax or have a drink and just doing that causes me more anxiety. I don't want to be dependant on any pills, but I don't know how to teach myself to relax. Does anyone else feel this way - or has anyone ever felt this way before? It scares me and I have tried to do things to relax, but I don't know how.
Any encouragement or comments are welcome and helpful.

Thank you

If trouble relaxing is your biggest symptom, then you're going to be okay. The program will teach you how to relax early in the program. I hope you have the program. I tend to just assume that everyone on this site is using the program, and you would be surprised at how many people are not.

Thank you DeeDee. I am trying it (on lesson 1)...I just never would have imagined how difficult it is to just relax...it's like I can't turn my mind off sometimes...I talked to my boyfriend this morning at length about this again and he is incredibly supportive
I used to have anxiety issues long ago and they came back this year after a very stressful week...I went to the dr and told her that I used to take .25 xanax occasionally and she said that I needed to be on zoloft...I was prescribed 50 mg a day and it made me feel awful...I was shaking nonstop and crying constantly and just couldn't eat....they took me off and gave me xanax again...I did really well for the first couple of weeks, only 1 every other day and then none for the last 2 weeks, but after last night I had to take one in the middle of the night and one this morning...I don't want to have to keep doing that...I am absolutely determined to do anything it takes to get through this and I really appreciate your support and the support of this forum.

Thank you!

Hi Dragonfly.

We have practiced being axious so long that it has become a habbit. And we are so good at it. Now we have to practice relaxing and getting good at that. Anxiety and being calm are "learned" behaviors, and now you have to learn how to relax.

I would try the program without medication first. It's gonna be hard but you can try it. I did the program without medication. At one point they wanted to give me paxil and I said no. Anxiety and depression meds actually causes and keeps you with some of these anxiety symptoms. Look at the side effects. A lot of them are what you feel when you're anxious. That's the reason why anxious people on anxiety meds tend to stay anxious longer. Their anxiety may be going away but the side effects makes them think that they're not going away. Some of the medications are also so very addictive.

I'm not talking about depression. If you have depression, you may need to take medication.

I have the old program, but in the beginning of the program we had to put up reminders to remind ourselves to slow down and relax. So, I drew large pictures of snails, I put the words "slow down" under them, and put them all over the house. It helped so much. Everytime I would start walking, talking, or even thinking fast, those snails would remind me to slow down. That really helped to "launch" my relaxation process.

Thank you Deedee...I dont want to take anything...I dont have depression so I hope that I can get through this without medicine...
How long have you been dealing with anxiety? DId you have trouble learning to relax too?

you can always email me too (dragonfly7518@yahoo.com)

Thanks again...this helps me feel better

Yes, indeed. Slow yourself down and find ways to do that with everything you do on a daily basis. Walk down the hall v-e-r-y slowly. You are intentionally slowing your pace down. When you slow your pace down, you slow your thoughts down.

Trying to get rid of your thoughts is not the goal here. Allowing them to come and go instead is your goal. When you no longer resist them you will see them subside or become very quiet. They'll come and go without your notice. In other words you are no longer attaching to them. Everyone has thoughts.

Use your calm breath work. Breathe in to the count of two. Hold to the count of 4. Breathe out slowly through pursed lips. Do this a lot daily to get you into the habit of relaxing. You'll feel yourself relax with the breathwork.

Listen to the relaxation tape daily. Evening sounds like a good time for you. Be patient. Relaxation, like anything else takes time, but do persist. Peace will come.

I used the relaxation cd at night when I went to bed. I used a walkman or portable player and had it ready on my pillow, so when i got in bed, i put my headset on, and pushed "play".
The headset helped so my spouse didn't have to hear it and it helped me concentrate better and helped me to avoid any distractions. (dogs barking,wind blowing) Lucinda taught me how to relax and clear my mind of those things that i couldn't stop thinking about.
feels good to get a good night's sleep.

Hi Dragonfly.

I've had anxiety for at least 15 years, and probably all of my life, when I think about it. I finished the program last year, between spring and summer. Right now I'm doing great. My biggest symptom was being lightheaded.

Make sure you do the program EXACTLY the way they say, and when you get to the part where you have to do the things that makes you feel uncomfortable- do more than you have to.

Remember, anxiety will not hurt you, it will only make you feel uncomfortable and you can do anything that you want to do- anxious and all.

also, get off your computer at least an hour before going to bed. i used to play games and continue to play in my mind when i was trying to sleep.

WOW deedee I love what you wrote. One can accomplish all things with anxiety or not. That is one of the most empowering statements I heard today. Yes it is uncomfortable...some days its more manageable and some days more challenging but as you put I can still live my life.....as I am working on changing my habits. Many blessings to you....