Stress Center Peer Support

One of the things which I am trying to reconcille in my own journey through the program, is what I am learning in the program, and what I have learned in sociology classes back in college. In college sociology classes, I learned several things which contradict what I learned in the program-

First, I learned that we are "socially produced" meaning that the society in which we live in, determines our idenity, our worldview and our actions. We are products of the society and culture, which we live in. So that our negative thought patterns were carefully conditioned into us, from a very young age, according to the sociological possition. Particularly what we learned as children, it was not necessuary a conscious choice to allow people to abuse us for example. We did not have the tools, or knew that we deserved to be treated in any other way. It is only when we learn the tools and that we are taught, that we do not deserve to be treated this way, then we can begin to excersie our free will.

Second, I learned that one of the sociological critiques of psychology, and I have run into this a number of times in the program, is that psychology is reductionistic, meaning that the individual person is the most logical cause of the problem, not as sociology contends, that society and social structures are most logical cause of our problems.

Third, the axiom that "life is not fair" also contridicts what I learned in sociology, which contends that life is neutral, it is society which is not fair. And, that unfairness is not deterministic, but that we are called to work towards making the world more fair and just.

So, how do I reconcile what I am learning in the program, with what I learned in sociology, which I happen to also belief and is consistant with my expereinces, being a minority, being a person with disabilites? For me, I am struggling with the axiom "life is not fair" being a positive statement, for me, "life is not fair," I find to be a very negative statement and an overgeneralization too, and for me, this part of the program is not as helpful, for all this axiom does is make me feel hopeless, defeated and like a victim. Thinking about "life being unfair" and being a survivior of much injustice in my life, one of the root causes of my anxiety and depression, I find very depressing indeed. From my perspective, I find it more empowering to reckgonize that "this is not fair" and that I need to work towards social justice, both for myself and the world.

Thanks very much! What do you think?

Daniel,
Im just wondering, who ever said life is "fair"? It doesnt take long in even a child's life to know Life was never promised to be fair, but live our life to the fullest regardless of society, disability. Anxiety was a disabilty for me for many years, because i allowed it to become that way. Not the way i was raised, or society. I made myself feel like a victim, no one else did. Regardless of what disability anyone has, they can be productive, worthwhile individuals, but they have to get out of the victim mentally, (which is basically blaming, everything including society) but our selves. My best friend is disabled with MS, yet not once has she felt a victim, she has the most awesome attitude knowing what this disease does to her, she still has hope, and she still pushes herself to do whether she feels like it or not, becuase she knows how important each day is, she lives her life to the fullest. She now has a scooter, and with joy she knows she can do and go like anyone who would be able to walk. She has learned that LIFE is the most important to her, GOD gives her the strength and hope to think of herself as a viable person.

Now, I dont consider anyone a minority, unless you beleive that for yourself. We are all minorities in some shape or form, but we dont have to let it make us victims. We can empower ourselves by getting rid of the victim mentality and moving toward a full life, but it takes work. Daniel, if we never experience life even when its unfair,, We would never learn anything, we would never grow in compassion, and empathy for others who are in the same situation we are.

Giving of yourself to others is very empowering and motivational.
Life give us wisdom, and knowledge, not phsycology books. I never went to college, or learned anything about sociology, but i know what anxiety is, being a victim is, and being made fun as a kid is. But, i also know i learned life lessons th rough going through those things, that have enabled me to help others. We may not ever be able to change society, but we can changes ourselves and how we live our lives.... Take care Nelly

Hi Daniel,

Sounds like you think tooo much.....lol You know Daniel we all have disabilites in one way or another. Mental, social, physical and other. Alot of things in this life are not fair but we make the best of a bad situation by learning to react differently to it. By asking our Heavenly Father to help us through. These things the bible says produces perserverance and character and hope in us. If we don't have trials then how could we grow into a strong individual. I know my trials have helped me to grow and developed my character to overcome. So I think its all in your perspective on things which make them positive or negative and I think that is OUR CHOICE. Is the glass half full or half empty. You decide.
Sandra

I felt like sociology classes covered more of an even idea of reason's for issues we all go through. The idea seemed to be that society, genetics, and our own self reaction to events all worked together to form how we act. It is all intertwined. Some sociologist tend to think one aspect may have more influence than others. There was the big debate of nature versus nurture, but both were covered. Also consider the aspects of macrosociety, and microsociety, have their influence in it all. There also is the idea that things aren't so great and need to be changed vs the idea that things are ok and don't need all that much change (kind of liberal vs. conservative).

I personally see it as a combination of everything working together to influence or determine how we act individually, together, as a group, a community, nation etc. No one thing is at fault for the way life is, things are, or our life is. We are all born into certain families, with certain genetics, and certain classes. We all live within society that influences us all in many ways. We are influenced buy environment, actions of others, actions of ourselves, and traits and characteristics we are born with. It all is woven together to create the complex, and individual people we are, were, and will become. While Nelly is right that we should not continue to play the victim, or be the victim in this mess, I don't think it can be denied that there are things that happen to us through no fault of our own. There are also plenty of things that happen due to, or at least influenced buy our own actions and reactions.I think it is how we deal with all of these things that determines a lot of what happens to us and how we feel. It is our reaction to or lack of reaction to both controllable and uncontrollable events in our life that inevitably determines how we feel about things and deal with them. So while we are all victims of some terrible things, we can choose to deal with them in a positive, neutral, or negative way. Each has a different result, and forms our days weeks and lives in different ways.

I think what some people should try to understand is that there is no one right or wrong reaction to the events that happen in our lives. We are all different, and react to things in different ways. Sometimes to our benifit, and sometimes to our detriment. Hopefully we learn from the benefits and detriments, so we can improve our lives in the future.

Any way, I have rambled on long enough. So I will stop myself now, and see if anyone wants to respond.