Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 4:40 am
I've been trying to manage some extreme anxiety and panic attacks for about 5 months now-- I never had a problem before then, it dropped on me out of thin air after I went through a bad breakup and moved out, then got laid off from my job. I quickly found a new and better job, but then got sick for 7 weeks with some kind of rebellious flu, which made it difficult to work. I quit my job because of the anxiety symptoms that started to replace the flu symptoms.
Meanwhile, I had spent the last year making a documentary film with a friend of mine about a man who quit his 9-to-5 job to become a printing press and book artist. My father is upset because he thinks making the film is what inspired me to quit my job and he's worried I'm going to run off to become a broke artist or something. (having a 'career' is really important to him) In all honesty, I'm so confused now that I don't know what I want, and can't find happiness in anything.
Anyway, I'm trying to pull myself together and am living off of savings without a job right now. And my friend and I are trying to promote the film as it gets more and more screenings across the country. In less than 2 weeks, we're supposed to make a 3-hour drive to where we went to college- our old university is screening the film.
I haven't spent more than a few hours at a time away from my apartment and I'll be gone for at least 2 days. I think I'm upset with myself because this used to never be a big deal- I've gone on 2-week long backpacking trips and used to travel all over the place. But I can't help but worry about all the things that could go wrong. Above all, I'm simply depressed and don't want to go. The idea of seeing old professors and talking to students about a film I made used to excite me- but now I just want to stay home and lay in bed and not do anything.
How do I teach myself look forward to something that is obviously so positive?
Meanwhile, I had spent the last year making a documentary film with a friend of mine about a man who quit his 9-to-5 job to become a printing press and book artist. My father is upset because he thinks making the film is what inspired me to quit my job and he's worried I'm going to run off to become a broke artist or something. (having a 'career' is really important to him) In all honesty, I'm so confused now that I don't know what I want, and can't find happiness in anything.
Anyway, I'm trying to pull myself together and am living off of savings without a job right now. And my friend and I are trying to promote the film as it gets more and more screenings across the country. In less than 2 weeks, we're supposed to make a 3-hour drive to where we went to college- our old university is screening the film.
I haven't spent more than a few hours at a time away from my apartment and I'll be gone for at least 2 days. I think I'm upset with myself because this used to never be a big deal- I've gone on 2-week long backpacking trips and used to travel all over the place. But I can't help but worry about all the things that could go wrong. Above all, I'm simply depressed and don't want to go. The idea of seeing old professors and talking to students about a film I made used to excite me- but now I just want to stay home and lay in bed and not do anything.
How do I teach myself look forward to something that is obviously so positive?
) But the truth of the matter is that reality is probably somewhere in the middle. With my anxiety, I frequently resisted things that were supposed to be fun, and I would come up with a million excuses why I didn't want to go. But the best thing to do is to talk yourself through it, feel the fear and do it anyway. I hope you have the program. You have two weeks to polish up on your skills...practice practice. In answer to your question "How do I teach myself look forward to something that is obviously so positive?" It is all in the way you talk to yourself. Good luck, keep us posted.