Stress Center Peer Support

i am feeling bad for a thought i had last night about my mother in law. i love her dearly, all of my in laws but with the holidays and the fact that i see them a couple times a week i'm just feeling like needing a little break! certain things annoy me from time to time.

last night she was coming over to visit and we were going to go to supper and head to my husbands basketball game. (he's a coach) i have to say i was kind of dreading it all day, i wasn't up for being "up" and she talks a lot! she was running late which isn't like her and the thought popped in my head, maybe she'll be killed in a car accident on her way here. and then the terrible feelings that i had that thought came on. eventually i was able to tell myself that you don't really want your mother in law dead and calm myself down. today though i am feeling so bad for the thought but i know i didn't really want that!

i hate the random uncomfortable thoughts that come in like that! and i feel bad, like i feel like i need to tell my husband i had this thought. however i've never told him that i have felt like i've had a little too much family time as of late. i have that problem too where i feel like i need to tell all and feel guilty. anyone else get these random thoughst and how doyou help yourself cope and not feel bad?

i guess i should categorize this as an intrusive thought, realize i feel bad about it and know to tell myself i didn't really mean the crazy thought i had. thoughts only thoughts. ?

I too have had very scary thoughts like that. I felt so relieved when I heard Lucinda speak about it on tape two. She said that she had thoughts about hurting people with knives. Apparently, she never did. But just knowing that there are other people out there that have these types of thoughts was a relief. I start to have these thoughts when I am stressed, and it is just a way of fantasizing about how to get away from the stress or the person we associate with that stress. Of course you don't mean any harm to your mother in law. You just don't want to be around her sometimes. If your husband knew how you feel, maybe it would give him some insight into what you are going through. You are right. Thoughts are only thoughts. Take care.

thanks nancy, i guess when i said i felt guilty, like i should tell my husband it was about the actual bad thought i had. do you just mean for me to tell him how i was feeling about dreading the night with his mom? that would be easier for me than actually telling him this awful thought! he does know i have scary thoughts but i'm working on not confessing them to him anymore and being my own safe person. it is challenging but it's something i know i need to work on!