Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 3:15 pm
I'm 19 and agoraphobic. My mom is my safe person, and my sister (who's 21) is kind of my 'backup' safe person. They are both going out of town for my cousin's bat mitzvah this coming weekend and I'm not going because traveling (6+ hours by car) is much too traumatic for me at this time. I'm stuck at home by myself, with occassional check-up visits by my aunt who also has anxiety. I'm really worried about it. My aunt, despite her anxiety, is much more functional than I am, but is still far from my idea of what a safe person is (she is very overweight and is the greatest what-if-er of them all, she's also very critical). I am so afraid of her being my only resource in town. It's only for two nights, but still. I'm so afraid that I will panic and that instead of being able to help me through it, my panic will cause her to panic and then we'll just be a pair of panickers with our safe people out of town. I'm so apprehensive that I'm reverting to some of my OCD tendencies-like I'm desperately trying to resist the urge to obessively clean out my mostly organized closet...I feel like if it were only cleaner then maybe I wouldn't feel so uncomfortable about my mom and sister being away. Totally unrational I know right? But it's keeping my mind occupied for the moment.
Any advice about how I can keep my mind busy with something other than panic? What should I do when they're actually gone? The days sometimes feel never-ending when I'm really panicked.
Any advice about how I can keep my mind busy with something other than panic? What should I do when they're actually gone? The days sometimes feel never-ending when I'm really panicked.