Stress Center Peer Support

As i have posted in other threads .. i cannot afford this program though i like to visit this site and read other people's stories and their advice on how to handle things. So i would like to ask anyone what they think on what i am about to post that happened to me today.

Today, I woke up with serious TMJ pains in my mouth so i was very stressed out knowing that the cause of it is from me clenching my teeth alot from anxiety and stress. I haven't been to a doctor/therapist/psychiotrist lately becuase i do not drive and i get rides from family. I hate going places but i know that i HAVE to get help somehow or talk to someone who is a professionalist and understands how to help me with this problem. Well, i was sitting in the room and i was explaining to my father what i couldn't eat with my TMJ and he is a very sarcastic person so he turned out of the door and told me to shut up and didn't listen to anything. I came into the room and told him i need to go to the doctor for this ... if you are mad at me for not being able to eat hard foods please get me to a doctor to help my anxiety and stop the TMJ. He told me that he had his own problems and he is sick of me whining. So i broke down in tears and screamed and had a huge panic attack. I called my grandmother and told her to please take me to the doctor i will do anything just get me some help .. i told her if i didnt get help something bad is going to happen to me down the road. So she called back later crying and told me she would take me to the doctor.. It is hard for someone to take me because everyone is so busy and im 21..i don't drive because im afraid of driving and scared of the outside world even going to the doctor.. But i knew i have to go get help. Though when she was crying i felt so horrible i didn't know what to say only that i will be alright and nothing bad is going to happen. I know many of my parents don't understand panic attacks or being afraid of everything. They think its not normal and have never heard of this so it makes me feel so alone that the people living around me don't understand only the ones that are far away. Then my mother calls me and tells me i am doing this for attention because i never get my way. And when i try to explain to her she ignores me by talking to someone else the room while i was on the phone then telling me she will call back later but didn't. Me and my mother never got along out of the whole family. I do love her so much though i wish i could make her proud and i feel so bad for having all of this anxiety and panic attacks that i feel like im making everyone upset or mad at me. So it all makes me feel worse.. And going to this doctor at Gateway im afraid of being put on medication because i don't like being tested taking different medicine to see which one helps since i had a bad expirince with one before. And when i was on Pexeva it did help me but it made me gain weight and feel like a zombie. When i felt better i tapered off and lost the weight and didn't feel so sleepy then i saw this theraipst that helped me though alot of bad things happened that i couldnt get over and i hardly get to see her now so i'm just stuck.. Its really hard to get help when you are afraid to get out and be on your own i just feel trapped.. and i don't know how or what to do or feel with my family anymore..

I'm sorry that you feel so crummy and your family is not supportive. I have heard that on the StressCenter.com site, there is a place that you can register to win a free copy of the program. Call the toll-free number and see how to do this. Also-- a book that helped me alot is called "Freedom from Fear by Dr. Howard Leibgold". It covers much the same stuff as the program and explains why we feel the way we do and what we can do to help ourselves. I ordered mine from a bookstore for about $8-10.

I wonder if your parents have some elements of anxiety or depression in their lives and so don't want to face the possibility by acknowledging your troubles.

Please try one of these ideas. I recognize wanting to make your parents proud, etc. I did that too, until I got more comfortable with how God made me and knew how to take care of my own self. When I knew that, I wasn't so reliant on their approval and could just be me. It really reduces the tension in oneself.

Can you get a mouthguard from the drug store to help you stop the clenching of your teeth?

Cat -

Another option is to purchase the book "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett. It has much of the same information as the Combatting Stress and Depression Program program and is presented in a similar way. Reading that book is what brought me to this site.

Originally posted by newrunner:
I'm sorry that you feel so crummy and your family is not supportive. I have heard that on the StressCenter.com site, there is a place that you can register to win a free copy of the program. Call the toll-free number and see how to do this. Also-- a book that helped me alot is called "Freedom from Fear by Dr. Howard Leibgold". It covers much the same stuff as the program and explains why we feel the way we do and what we can do to help ourselves. I ordered mine from a bookstore for about $8-10.

I wonder if your parents have some elements of anxiety or depression in their lives and so don't want to face the possibility by acknowledging your troubles.

Please try one of these ideas. I recognize wanting to make your parents proud, etc. I did that too, until I got more comfortable with how God made me and knew how to take care of my own self. When I knew that, I wasn't so reliant on their approval and could just be me. It really reduces the tension in oneself.

Can you get a mouthguard from the drug store to help you stop the clenching of your teeth?

I went to my dentist about it in Febuary and i actually was using a mouthguard at the time everynight and he told me to throw it away because it is only making my mouth hurt worse clenching on it with my stress. So he told me he couldn't do anything for me or clean my teeth because i obviously was shaking in the chair having an anxiety attack .. and he couldn't do it because of the tmj and told me i should go see a therapist or psychiotrist for my anxiety thats causing me to clench my teeth down so hard. I went to a therapist and tried the TATs and emotional freedom techniques but sometimes its hard to bring myself to do it when im panicing bad. I also cannot get many rides to go see her often so its once every 2 3 months or so. And she told me since she was expensive i should go to Gateway and talk to a therapist/psychiotrist there since i can get on a plan. I did though the doctor is only there on Fridays. And its hard to make appointments to get in since you can only make them on Thursdays to call that they answer the phone. Also i'm not really wanting to be on antidepressants or anything so im kind of not knowing what to do .. though my anxiety with dealing with stuff and being in the house all day not doing much afraid of the outside world is making me depressed so both ways its hard.

Hi Cat-

well- it sounds like you are trying to be proactive about this which is great. Never say Never and don't give up.

I'd get the book and make that your mission right now. Do the homework that he outlines and get a relaxation tape/CD or make your own and really use it as many times a day as you can. I don't think you Need to be on drugs to combat this. I think that drugs help you to calm down so that you can learn the techniques to help yourself, but they won't take away the panics forever because you are masking them.

The panic is coming from you squirting adrenaline repeatedly in a short amount of time. The author of the book I told you about likens panic to getting drunk. One drink or one squirt and it's OK. A few more squirts or drinks and you feel weird and a bit out of control, a few more and you are way over the line. The only way that you don't run thru this cascade is to quit drinking/quit squirting adrenaline. You can minimize adrenaline by regular cardio exercise and taking away foods/substances that mimic adrenaline (caffeine, chocolate-theobromine, nicotine, illegal drugs). And if you do have a squirt of adrenaline, you need to immediately practice your deep breathing, stop ruminating and do something that is active like a crossword or singing or pushups, and then talk back to the anxiety and tell it you are fine and not afraid of it. The squirts will ebb away and you will become familiar with them and you then won't care if they happen or not. And they won't happen. Really!! You can do this.

I'm sorry that it's so hard to get in to see someone and the driving is an issue and all that stuff. The roadblocks probably do seem insurmountable but they are not. Can you tell your parents that you are as tired of it as they are and ask for their help and let them read the book so they understand it?

Well they may be too busy to read anything or understand it that is why it was hard for me to ask them to take me to this doctors appointment with the psychiotrist. I am placing an order though for the book. Though the only thing that is mainly bothering me is pain.. the tmj is not going away.. it only goes down to where i can handle it when something else on my body is in pain or i am asleep. And i have been having neck and back pains as well also stomach pains and it makes me irritated so bad.. i can't talk to many freinds when i'm in pain like that i get angry very easily and stressed out and can't concentrate or do much though even when i'm not in pain i still get stressed out over tiny things and i have problems with talking to people and staying calm as well. Also last night i was so anxious and i had no clue why... my throat was so tight feeling i couldnt swallow and that made me panic. All of these pains and stuff happening is really scaring me so i am wondering.. Will reading this stuff and knowing how to stay calm actually help with the pains and stuff? or is it something i have to be on medication for.. even thinking about all of this and how to get help is really really stressing me out.. but im so scared to be on meds ... though i don't want the pains and tmj to get worse or keep hurting.

I forgot to post in reply.. I also wanted to ask what if i don't know why i'm panicing... or what the problem is? i just get anxious out of nowhere is there a reason for it? or can you be stressed out and anxous for no reason? Also can you get really sick from stress? like will it get worse? is this something i have to go see a doctor about besides try to stop it on my own? I'm sorry im asking too many question... i'm nervous right now as well.

Originally posted by newrunner:
Hi Cat-

well- it sounds like you are trying to be proactive about this which is great. Never say Never and don't give up.

I'd get the book and make that your mission right now. Do the homework that he outlines and get a relaxation tape/CD or make your own and really use it as many times a day as you can. I don't think you Need to be on drugs to combat this. I think that drugs help you to calm down so that you can learn the techniques to help yourself, but they won't take away the panics forever because you are masking them.

The panic is coming from you squirting adrenaline repeatedly in a short amount of time. The author of the book I told you about likens panic to getting drunk. One drink or one squirt and it's OK. A few more squirts or drinks and you feel weird and a bit out of control, a few more and you are way over the line. The only way that you don't run thru this cascade is to quit drinking/quit squirting adrenaline. You can minimize adrenaline by regular cardio exercise and taking away foods/substances that mimic adrenaline (caffeine, chocolate-theobromine, nicotine, illegal drugs). And if you do have a squirt of adrenaline, you need to immediately practice your deep breathing, stop ruminating and do something that is active like a crossword or singing or pushups, and then talk back to the anxiety and tell it you are fine and not afraid of it. The squirts will ebb away and you will become familiar with them and you then won't care if they happen or not. And they won't happen. Really!! You can do this.

I'm sorry that it's so hard to get in to see someone and the driving is an issue and all that stuff. The roadblocks probably do seem insurmountable but they are not. Can you tell your parents that you are as tired of it as they are and ask for their help and let them read the book so they understand it?

Cat,
Stress can absolutely harm your health. Have you tried to massage your jaw or used a hot water bottle to get your jaw to relax? TMJ is very painful, I know.

It's very difficult to deal with people who don't understand. It took my family 25 years to realize that I'm not a slacker, I'm suffering from anxiety and depression.

You might try a muscle relaxant for the TMJ. As for the other meds, I am taking antianxiety meds, but I seem to need them less and less as I continue in the program, even when I feel anxious. Medication to me is a temporary way of helping me cope until I am in more control of myself. It sounds like you're scaring yourself because of the physical symptoms. It's all in your head, and I am not making light of your feelings. Newrunner gave an excellent explanation of talking to yourself and breathing more deeply. Hang in there! You're worth the trouble!
Les

I'm sorry to hear it took your parents that long to figure it out. I wish alot of parents would just take the time to understand that it is real and people suffer from it and need help to get their lives back. My family are learning though even though they say go outside go do something when im afraid to step foot outside or be around people so i have to take little steps. And the TMJ is what is the biggest problem i have. The pain just gets me more anxious and stressed out alot of the time i do messege my jaw, do emotional freedom technique tappings, put hot & cold stuff on it, and i've been taking tiny cut up pieces of vicodin for it whenever i can't handle the pain. I hate taking pills so i try hard to cope with it i'm also kind of afraid of antidepressants because i don't like being tested on if the antidepressant i take might make me freak out or go nuts like the seroquel pill they gave me to help me sleep. Though im trying hard to cope with it,if the pain in my mouth quit hurting it would make it ALOT more easy. I just hope that all of it will stop and i will actualy not feel pain or feel the achey anxiety feeling when i go places.

Cat,
I can identify better than I'd like to about the medications. I only take antianxiety pills now because I couldn't stomach the side effects of antidepressants (seroquel just happens to be one of many I've tried) and they didn't work well enough for me to keep trying (after 15 years). Pain pills can be addictive, but it doesn't sound like that will be a problem for you. I think I suggested a muscle relaxant. I have used cyclobenzaprine (Flexeril) and it not only relaxes muscles, it can aid in sleep if tension/anxiety is what's keeping you awake. See what your doctor says.

I DESPISE taking pills but as long as I remember it's my body and the doctor can't force me to take anything. Remember, I use them as a temporary solution until I can control my emotions better.

Your family is trying to help by getting you to go out. It sounds like they care but they don't really understand. I think they are trying to distract you from your anxiety, which isn't a bad idea. Maybe for now though, you should occupy yourself indoors if going out makes you anxious. I started out quilting, and have come to where I can go out now. Not every day is the same, and some are much harder than others, but it is possible to get relief. That's a promise, and I don't make them lightly!

Hang in there, and keep writing so you don't forget that you are not alone.
Leslie