Stress Center Peer Support

One of the main pieces of my life that is missing is a career. I am 28 years old and since graduating from college at 23, my career life has been pretty shotty. I have had several low paying jobs and while it was good to be working, I never felt fullfilled. I began to ask myself what I really want to do with my life on a daily basis and this is when my anxiety got really bad. I couldn't answer this question with any real conviction. I ordered the program and while it has helped me bring alot of negative emotions to the surface, I still feel empty when I think of this question. My wife is working full-time and I have been out of full-time work for about two-three years. In that timeframe, I have worked part-time, but in January I took up trading stocks. I started out really well, but have since suffered losses like most people. I thought that I would get really good at trading stocks and be able to live off of the income. This may still work out in the future, but I now realize I don't have enough money to work with and it may not really fit my temperment. I need social interaction and sitting in front of the computer all day is not my idea of a fullfilling life. I dreamt of making enough money by trading that I could then move on and fullfill other life goals, but since the market has been in a huge slump I am now asking myself if this is really what I want to do. I am also concerned about being out of full-time work for 2-3 years. I know people say to accentuate the positives and all, but the last interview I went on was for a summer camp counselor and the guy basically made me feel like crap. I have been a substitute teacher for three years and was more than qualifies for that camp job, yet he looked at my resume and started picking it apart. In my head I was furious and wanted to tell him off, but obviously that would have been to my detriment. My problem with job interviews is that I am an honest person and when asked a question will answer honestly. This works against me because I am too honest. Well what the hell? I am not going to change what I think is a good quality of mine just to butt kiss for a job. These job interviews are total bs anyway. It is like yo uare being interrogated for a crime.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, Tigerman. I can relate to what you're going through, even after having two different careers (and hating both)--I still don't know what I want to do and I feel totally trapped where I am.

My advice would be to do something you love doing, even if it doesn't pay the bills. I know it's hard when financially you have to do something you hate/don't enjoy but if there is something additional in life to look forward to it makes it more bearable.

When it comes that big career question...wow that has tormented me for years and years. I have an older sister that has been very successful in her field and very driven. I was always looking for something to motivate me to do the same, so i asked her how did you know what career was right for you... she said "I still don't know what i want to do for a career". I think a lot of successful people would say the same thing. She made it happen because she didn't let the fact she didn't have the answer to that big question stop her. Me i was tormented by that question and never could get out of 1st gear. But i took a lesson from her and i'm in the same career i use to make myself sick over and i can tell you this...i still don't know what i want to be but when i'm at work i do a good job for myself and that makes me feel like i'm accoplishing something...that question doesn't haunt me anymore. good luck.

I am having trouble getting motivated and STAYING THERE. I like to test the waters sometimes and once I get my feet wet, I run away immediately and say "this isn't for me; I'm not good enough". My reasoning is because someone is always pushing me to be better in my life, rather than telling me what a good job I've done so far, so I keep thinking there's something better out there to do than what I've accomplished. There are so many perfectionists out there, including my husband. If I don't do something right the 1st time, I always get pushed more, so it inhibits me to perform to my full potential. It's hard to tell the people I love to back off. I'm EXTREMELY sensitive to criticism, especially since I was raised with a very strict father who would mock me a lot of times, making me feel inferior to him. A lot of times I wonder how I ever got as far as I did. I have to pat myself on the back for that. Hehe. I think we all should. Back to the topic, though, my biggest fear is to actually start doing the things that I LOVE doing not just the things that I'm good at. Why? Because I would have something that a lot of people don't have...success. I'd probably be the minority and then I'd have to deal with envy, jealousy, attitudes and competition a lot more. And I'm so bad at conflicts. I don't think I've ever one an argument. So that's my "what if" scenario. I don't hate my job, but I am unhappy with it. I sit at a desk all day long and it's making me depressed. I don't want to do anything when I get home, just eat, eat some more, and go to sleep. And that's not the way to go. I'm starting to notice my internal dialogue though, and it's not pretty.

I can understand the feelings. While I have what is my dream job I was injured off duty in May and have not been able to work since. The injury was a severe fx of my right leg while riding Quads.
Because my job is as a Firefighter I am unable to return until at least Feb-March 09. The first couple months were not bad but then I found myself unable to use my normal coping skills. I have been involved in Training for the last 24 years. I am not used to having to sit around with others doing things for me... and without my regular (read unhealthy) outlets I have been forced to deal with myself. I found my depression at an all time low and myself being anxious about everything... it got out off control. I had to find a coping method. My doc told me that when normally active people find themselves in this situation that a response like mine is normal. Thanks for coming in here is your Xannax have a nice day.
That was not good enough for me and only masked my fears and not well. I got a copy of the program and am in week 6. I am very glad that I am doing this. However, for me the worst part of the day is morning. I have nothing to look forward to. Because I am getting disability insurance (almost enough to pay the bills) I can not go out and get an kind of a job. All I was doing was waking up depressed because I could not go to work. I continue to find the hardest thing is to get the positive talk going. If I remember to do that my day is much better. In fact even though I am at tape 6 I went back today to #3 and listened to it 4 times. I am starting to get it drilled into my daily routine. I would like to suggest that everyone remember to positive talk yourself on the little things.... all of them... everytime... I repeat this as much for myself as I do for you. POSITIVE praise for all you do...

Originally posted by Leda:
My advice would be to do something you love doing, even if it doesn't pay the bills. I know it's hard when financially you have to do something you hate/don't enjoy but if there is something additional in life to look forward to it makes it more bearable.

Leda, great reply...=)