Stress Center Peer Support

Okay, I am rather nervous about some dinner plans with some of my colleagues this Friday. It's just supposed to be for fun and all, not business or anything. But we are all playing on going out to eat, and all riding together. I am getting a little bit more nervous the closer it gets. I was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions as to how I could better handle my anxiety in this situation and not totally freak out!!! I do want to go and I think I would have fun....but I'm soooo nervous. Im not a big socializing person. I've already came up with some excuses, just in case I cant make myself go. Anyone have advice...please!!!!

Hi there,

I can speak from experience- I conquered a dinner party last week anxiety and all ! it was awesome in fact- for me it was: step one- forget about it! its days away and hey, you could die tomorrow (accidentally of course) and you would have spent your last momments worrying- who cares! the thinking causes the anxiety- youve decided you are going- thats it- when you need to walk out the door there is no time left for worry- leave it til that point

Next- expectations dear friend expectations- have none. none. let me repeat- none. dont spend hours deciding what to wear- no one will notice anyways. just take it literally minute by minute- I bet you'll have a great time

and if you do think about it replace the whatif bads with whatif goods- what if I have a great time? what if I make some good friends? what if this becomes a great tradition? keep the positives going and props for trying hun!

please keep me posted!

I've been there. I have a group of friends who love to go out and carpool. I take my own car when I'm feeling anxious about it. I tell them that I might need to leave early (blame it on my husband) and so I need to drive myself. I give myself a way out - I never have had to leave early, by the way. I've always had fun.

Well I could drive, but everyone wants to ride together. I also have a lot of anxiety about driving so I kind of think I would be less worried if someone else drove. It's just the whole, you cant leave when you want to. So that does scare me a little bit. But I know it's something that I have to work on. So hopefully everything will go just fine...thanks for the advice.

you gotta tell us how it goes because I will be waiting........I will say a prayer for you

Hi Blueskies4me,

I just went through that last week I had a wine tasting event to attend last Saturday and also we were all going in the same car. As the day got closer I was gettting more nervous. (Also coming up with alternate excuses not to go) I woke up Saturday morning felt great and thought positive all day and praticed the six steps in session 2. The night come and went and I had a great time, always remember our symptons can't hurts us they will pass. I know if I can do this anyone can. You will have a great time and alot of laughs!

Glad everything went well for you Liz. Usually I would bail, but I so want to have a full life, where I can feel comfortable going to places with more people than just my family. As the tomorrow gets closer I am getting a little more nervous. So the steps in Lesson 2, the accept, change dialog, etc., is that what you are referring to? What kind of postive self talk to you tell yourself, to help yourself feel better. Just curious, I have a hard time telling myself encouraging rational thoughts...lol. I seem to want to believe of course the negative, even though like you said anxiety always goes away, I just dont want to embarrass myself, for one, I work with these people everyday, and 2 none of them know I have an anxiety issue. Thanks for the advice Liz....and I will repost what happens 187killumcub...thanks!!

Hi Bluesky,

Yes its the steps in the 2nd session. It's not easy to get yourself to think differently but if you keep saying it over and over it kind of sticks with you. I used to always think that I will embarrass myself but I am finally realizing that nothing bad is going to happen to me. Most of the time anyone around me never knows that I am experiencing a panic attack. I just keep saying nothing is wrong, I'm fine this will pass and it always does. Just this afternoon at my office someone was speaking to me about the disorder and was asking me what I was doing to help myself (I am more open about it now)but the more and more I talked about it I started to feel panicky I just stepped back took a deep breath and tried to relax myself. I started to do some paperwork and it was over already. I agree with you but I actually started saying to myself who CARES what people think, God knows what secrets they have. You will be fine, Enjoy your self!!!!!!!!!!!

I am soooo proud of myself. I rode in a cramped van with 6 other women to a crowded restaurant and I survived. Who knew it could be that easy, I honestly didnt really even get nervous, once I thought I might have to get up and leave the table, but that was it. I was so proud of myself. I just cant believe that everything went well. I didnt send myself negative thoughts, I genuinely just had an awesome time. Now everyone is wanting to make it a tradition. I have always had a problem riding with people, especially that many. I just want to thank u for all the advice and prayers, and thank god for this forum. I feel a little stupid about even worrying about it in the first place. No big deal!!! Thanks!

Wow, I was just reading your post...congratulations! I have a similar "dinner" thing going on today. I am supposed to go out to dinner with someone tonight -- problem: on the freeway and over bridges to get there! HELP! Worst of all [or best of all], it's a date! I haven't been on a freeway in about 6 months or a bridge in over 1 year! I feel like canceling, but...what to do?!
I just received "the program" in the mail a couple of days ago, but haven't had time yet to begin. I'm looking for the best advice so I can go on my date! If you have any suggestions, please post them here! Thank you!