Stress Center Peer Support

i have suffered anxiety/panic attacks for about 17years now.About 8 years ago i met the girl of my dreams.She lived 100 miles away and i met her on a chatroom.She had been in a failed marriage and had two children age 2 and 4.She moved to my area and we bought a house together and got married and had a little girl.All through this time i had reaccuring anxiety/panic attacks.where we travelled depended on wether i could make it without panicking.All the time my agoraphobia worsened.My wife helped me through each ordeal.I wasnt the type of person who sat in the house moaning and feeling sorrow for myself i got out there and tried.But the last year my wifes atittude has really changed.She says she cant be bothered listening to my problems anymore.She said shes really fed up with it and blames my condition for everything including ruining her life.Now her daughter(my stepdaughter) has started to really disrespect me saying "youre nothing to me" and "i hate you and i`ve always hated you".She sees her mum disrespecting me and does exactly the same.I am an easy going loyal and very loving husband and dad and live for my family.This leads to arguements with them both blaming me for my "condition" to the point where its fun to mock it.Only tonight i had a big row with my wife and her saying its over and she didnt love me as much as she used to.I asked why and she replied "its your F*****g condition.I love her to pieces and want to spend the rest of my life with her but she says she wants her freedom from this condition.I have tried numerous treatments to cure this and to get my life back but each time i fail.I wondered if anyone had any advice?

Sounds like a tough situation.

I know my family gets frusterated when I have my bouts of anxiety and depression, and I always worry they will get sick of me.
Does your wife understand your condition fully? Do you talk openly about things that are bothering you or how you are feeling? Sometimes if someone understands better, it's easier for them to be more supportive instead of judgemental. Dealing with someone who has anxiety issues is tough. My family never knows what to do for me when I get down, and sometimes there is nothing anyone can really do.

Maybe you could ask your wife if she would seek counceling with you. Maybe work on your anxieties with the councelor, and work on your marriage as well. Hopefully she is willing to take some part in working with you.

If you have this program maybe she could watch it with you. My husband watched a thing on panic disorder and it helped him to understand what was going on with me. He at times would mock me because he thought that i was making it all up and I guess if someone doesn't understand the way I feel it was hard for him. When he watched this he could see that I wasn't the only one that felt this way. Take baby steps and they will turn into HUGE steps that will help you along your way. I wouldn't allow anyone to disrespect me in any way and I would sit and talk to my spouse about the way things are going and that you don't appreciate the way that she is treating you along with your daughter.

Jennifier

This post breaks my heart. I really feel for you. I agree with both of the answers above. Maybe she could see a counselor with you. She & your mother in law defintely don't understand this disorder at all and what they really need is some education.

I am sorry for you, I can't speak from advice because I have a very supportive husband, but that was my first thought was to seek some professional help with or without her. Hopefully with her and she will understand a little bit better. I know my husband sometime does not understand something and I can't explain it, so I will have my counselor explain it and then he will understand. I will keep you in my prayers.

Candi

hi back again
just had the mother of all arguements with my wife this time the two little kids were screaming it was really unpleasant.Im one of those people who if i have crossed words i forget about it within minutes.my wife rages for days and says some really hurtful things a lot of the time slagging off my anxiety.this time she was saying its over i want you out of my house.After all this all i want her to do is cuddle me even after what shes said.Today when i text her from work and asked her whats caused the drifting apart she said"your f*****g condition".I know how tough it must be for her and how frustrating but when i ask her for her help she nows says she cant be bothered and i dont want to understand your silly problems.I know i`m a burden with this condition but i treat her like a queen,i constantly touch her &hold hands,ive never cheated,tell her i love her 100 times a day,never call her names,open doors for her,cook,clean the house,always say to her you first but its not enough and because of the stupid condition i`m going to lose my wife and my kids

I know EXACTLY how you feel. My wife and three of my kids are moving out today. We have been married for 22 years and have 4 children. My wife says the same thing about me. She has made jokes about my problem to the kids and thinks it is not real. I have had this problem for a couple of years but only recently found out what it was. I also found out last June that my wife has been having an affair with the police officer at the school she worked at.

I hope this won't seem offensive but have considered that she might feel smothered by all of your attention. I need a lot of love and attention because of my anxiety and I have found a few trusted friends who can listen and help me know and then to give my huband a break. I told him that I know I am needy and I wanted him to be free to have fun too. I also agree that she should watch the tapes with you if she hasn't so that she might understand a little better.

Fiftychevy ~ that is horrible! I am so sorry to hear that! I just wanted to say that I am hear for you if you need to talk.

Darren John ~ Don't say that you are going to lose them. I agree with Jannacle, but when I am anxious I want to be left alone. So maybe she needs some space, maybe she just doesn't understand at all. Please get some help and ask her if she will go with you. Keep us all updated!I am here if you need or want to PM me to talk.

Jennifier

Hello!I know exactly how you feel.My husband and kids do the exact same to me.It really hurts doesn't it?I know,it makes you feel very helpless and frustrated at the same time.It seems like know matter what you do it's never enough.They don't understand how hard it is for us to just do those things and keep doing them faithfully even if we feel horrible!Please don't give up and I don't intend to either.We really are strong we just have to believe.It takes time to get over this condition.It's probably going to take us a little longer because of our environment.You have to start thinking positive and not let the things that they say to you sink in.You know you're just the opposite of what they say so start telling yourself that.Focus on all the good qualities you have.It sounds like you have alot of them.I know this is hard to do but I think we owe it to ourselves!We have a life too!I wish you luck with this.Take care and remember don't let what they say sink in!