Stress Center Peer Support

Hey friends

I wonder if anyone has been through this? The most important thing in my life is my boyfriend. He is my rock.. my entire future is planned with him.. I could never do it with anyone else. We are waiting till we are finished being students until we get married etc but we talk about it all the time.
The only thing is I'm sure he's going to die. Because he is my world, I'm sure life is cruel enough to take him away. Every time he get's in the car I say "no razz" (this means don't go fast where I live!) and he has to repeat "no razz" in a certain tone and if he doesn't repeat it exactly how I feel he should, I get convinced that he will die because of this. It's always on my mind and I imagine the funeral and stuff.. it's the worst thought ever.
And now.. he wants to buy a motorbike. We had a huge row because I said I'll leave him if he buys one but he says Im being dramatic and he has always wanted a bike.
Do you think this is a preminition and he is going to die?? I couldn't live without him.
At the moment he has been ill for a week.. just really tired and dizzy and Im scared it's leukemia or something. His dad died of cancer last year really suddenly and I'm scared the same will happen to him

Sorry to rant on.. you guys are the only ones I can be honest with about my crazyness !! xox

Hi there - I fight those fears every day, but it's not as bad as it used to be. I leave it to God. I say my prayers and love my husband and son the best that I can, that's all I can do. I get those visions of a traumatic event happening to them and of myself without them in my life. It's terrible and I can relate to what you are going through. I think that conquering our fear and anxiety in general helps with these visions and thoughts, but we also have to stop ourselves when they start to creep in our minds again. It's not always easy, I know.

Take care,
Jen

Hi, lately I have been picturing that with my dad. He recently turned 63 and him dying has been on my mind a lot. I have not lost someone who is in my immediate circle and ever since I was little I always feared death. Like Lucinda says, let GO and let God.