Stress Center Peer Support

I´ve been suffering from anxiety since I was 17. My diagnosis of myself is general anxiety disorder. I also have had a little problems with agoraphobia, social phobia and what I think is obsessive thoughts. Also have had a lot o depressions. I have read Lucindas book several times now and it is so much in it that I can relate to. Otherwise I would not sit here.

I can´t afford to buy the program so I decided to do something of my own. My first thing was to recognise my negative thouhgts.

Yesterday was quite a good day, I wrote a lot from the book and I was really resolute.But when I woke up it all started again. It seemed like the more I thought about negative scary thoughts, the more thoughts popped up in my head.I have a weard thought that I really feel ashamed of: I do not exist. I have analyzied it a lot of tímes before, but it comes back. And I always comes to the conclusion that I do exist. I can feel, hear and breath......and others can see me...etc. I think I got this thought first time when I was a teenager. But that time I was capabel to shake it of me. Maybe it comes up because I do´not feel like I live enough.I am not so scared of that thought anymore but I am really a good thinker, am I not??.. Last night I thought What if my thoughts are not really mine? What if there is some supernatural power visiting? What if there are aliens thoughts? Those thoughts really scared me. I have good imagination!!!

I often have existensial thougts...What is the meaning of life? How did it all start? Is there a god or is there something else? Evolution or creation? Is there an end of universe? Are we alone of this planet? How complex we human beeings are. Etc... And the thoughts scares me!I now that I´m not alone with this questions. All human beeings think them. But when I think them it can be a real mess in my head. Everything tends to be trouble.

My favorite scary thought that popped up latest: Am I digging so deep so it´s impossible to become healthy?

At the same time I´m an exampel of it. I have been better before! I have had similiar thougts a lot of times before. I really want to belive. I have been better. Most people tell me not to think so much. Be a doer! But I do not want to stop thinking! Im very intelligent an creative. I have studied and I have been working. I have had better periods and harder ones.

Anyway, my reasonable me says that I can manage to get through this. Is there anyone who can relate to my little story? It´so much more I could write but I have to stop, for this time.

TWK,

I think I can relate to some of your thoughts. When I was younger and going through a very difficult time I could not understand the concept of life. I mean, how I could be on a bus, with people who move about, have thoughts, etc, but I can see them. How is it my parents or friends go about there business when I am not around? Are they frozen in time till I see them or call them?? I use to drive myself crazy trying to figure out how life worked and how people evolved while I was not near them. Like the age old question, "If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound?" Of course it does!!!

I don't do this much anymore, but I actually went through a difficult time over the last year and found those thoughts creeping into my head.

The biggest thing I did was join here, talk it out, read what others have gone through.

Start with the negative thoughts, the negative energy. You need to find a way to make it all positive, at least, that is what I have found.

Best of luck,
CJ

Thanks for your reply!

I can totally relate to your negative thoughts. I really think that everyone must have them from time to time. My negative thoughts usually revolve around death. I have spent so much of my life contemplating what my own death is going to feel like. I know that is why a lot of my anxiety is triggered from how I feel...I focus so much on how I'm feeling, and if I feel anything but "normal", my mind starts going to a bad place.

I also entertain thoughts about the complexity of the universe, aliens, life after death...etc. Sometimes when I'm walking, it blows my mind that my legs know to put one foot in front of the other to make me move. And them I think, what if I just forget how? It's strange thoughts like that that really get me. Sometimes I just want to turn my brain off!!

BUT...You can get better, you can overcome the anxiety. Try to stay positive. This program is worth the money. I put it on a credit card, even though I swore off buying anything on credit. It's been the best thing for me. Good luck!!

Steph

Thanks for your reply. It feels good to have some replies in the end. I nearly gave up to have any this evening. It was interesting to read your words. It seems like you are like me in many ways.Why don´t we laugh about it all, we are really funny but we don`t go crazy!! We will overcome this! Good luck to you.

Excuce my english, I´m not used to it.
Goodnight!

Phobics don't go crazy - so you can set that fear to rest. Practice staying in the present moment. You are in the future so much. Bring your attention to whatever is going on in the present. What do you hear, taste, smell, feel? Whenever your mind starts to wander find the present moment. You don't have to have answers to your questions in order for the discomfort to go away. When you become present where are your fears?

TWK; It sounds like you have the ability to be aphiosopher if you can get past the fear of some of your thoughts. Check out Wayne Dyers work. It revolves around taoism and approaches the dual nature of opposites that you had some mention of in your post. If you quit worrying pondering helps us grow. Also try lucindas book From Panic To Power. God bles; Bradley.