Racing horrible thoughts / scary at times!!!

gator · Post by **gator** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 8:39 am

First, let me say that i just ordered the program last night, and am waiting for its arrival. At this point, i am willing to try anything. I have been dealing with anxiety and these scary thoughts for a long time. i just deal with it, and move on. However at times, i feel they are too REAL, and that i am truly losing my mind. The thoughts i have are NOT me!!!!!. I am not an angry person, yet i find myself obsessing about them all the time. I have thoughts of hurting myself, or someone else, however i KNOW i never would. After reading some of the posts here, it is extremely enlightening to know that i am not alone. i went to my doctor, and he gave me some meds for anxiety and depression, dont really know if they are working yet. I have only been taking them for a few weeks. I am not a "pill popper", and dont like the idea of having to rely on them to be happy. i have a great career, home, car, and everything but for some reason these thoughts take over my mind, and i think about them constantly. It really scares the hell out of me. i am not a "shut in" or anything. I go out and conduct my life very well, but no one knows that i have these thoughts. i am afraid to say anything to anyone, as i dont want them to think that i am crazy. i just wish they would go away. i am hoping the program works, as i am tired of them. if ANYONE on here reads this, hit me up. i would love to talk to others in the same situation. this site is unbelievable, i cant believe there are others out there that are like me...how comforting!

CLMGIRL · Post by **CLMGIRL** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 9:19 am

I too am dealing with the scary thoughts and have been for the last 6 months. I have had anxiety for over 20yrs but never felt this kind of symptom. but I went to the doctor and he said its all apart of anxiety that anxiety stress can play tricks on our mind and body he too gave me pills and im not much into pills so I decided not to take them. I have read many post on this subject and like yours I realize others have this symptom of anxiety and I understand we are not our thoughts that if we pay to much attention them or dwell on our thoughts we keep them hanging on so i do alot self talk and i read a post that helped me and when i have these thoughts i turn to what i read and it goes like this. (I am in control of my thoughts. I choose to not give them any power. They are just thoughts and they are not true. I will get through today because I am strong. I will take it from moment to moment and I will keep myself distracted. If a thought comes into my head that I do not like, I will replace it with something comforting. I will tell myself the truth. And, I'm going to be ok.)

Gevaar · Post by **Gevaar** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 11:05 am

I too have scary thoughts that i never had before. I always wondered if it's because i'm the type of guy to say nothing...like someone pisses me off, i'll just ignore or say nothing instead of saying what i really wanna (still in a polite way).

Mendy · Post by **Mendy** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 11:26 am

Gator im with you. I never believed there were so many people out there with the same problems as me either. It is very comforting. I wish you the best of luck with the program.

Ivyheart <>< · Post by **Ivyheart <><** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 11:43 am

Gator, It is so scary....you are not alone! I am on the 4th week of the program and I am looking forward to the one that deals with scary thoughts. I try and tell myself STOP this isn't you, but because it never was me up intil 1 month ago it is scary and hard to deal with because where did it come from you know? I started my anxiety and panic attacks again a bout a month ago and the scary thoughts came instantly, it might have even came in my mind at the exact same time the first panick attack hit.....sO i KNOW YOU MUSY HAVE GUILT and confusion inside because it is hard to seperate you from the thoughts....we think if we are thinking it, then it must be so. Thankfully what I have seen on this sight and what I have heard from the program is that it isn't us NOT TRUE AT ALL. I am just wondering if anuone out there can help us understand why the thoughts come? I too am married have kids happy and now these thoughts along with anxiety are so hard to handle. Does anyone have tools they have learned?? Gator my heart feels for you and for everyone going through this. I have to have faith that this will pass. Life is so confusing at times. God Bless you!

Ivyheart

gator · Post by **gator** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 12:55 pm

thank you sooo much for the responses. I cant tell you how comforting it is knowing that there are others. i am a huuuuge worrier. I constantly think of the worst possible outcome of every situation, and i DONT KNOW WHY?? I think, did something happen to me in my childhood to bring this on? I am a child of a divorced mother and father, but other than that, oh and coming out of the closet, which no longer has the incredible stigma it once had, i have NO IDEA why i feel the way i do. Was it inherited? I dont know! When i see someone standing on the corner, i immediately think of "God, i hope they dont get hit by a car"..why would i think that? When i am driving my car, sometimes i have thoughts of driving my car into the center divider. WHY?????? Then, of course comes the thoughts of, well, if i say anything to anyone, i am going to be locked up in some looney bin, and forgotten about...i have a loving family and friends, i just wish this would all go away, and i could enjoy life once again!!...hope this program and this site helps. Thank GOD i can come on here and vent, because even just talking or typing about it to people that understand, HELPS!!!!

anthonyntx · Post by **anthonyntx** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 1:25 pm

Gator, by no means are you losing your mind. Many men have these types of thoughts that at times feel so overwhelming and down right frightening to us. Just remember they are only thoughts and you will not act out on your thoughts no matter how disturbing or strange they may appear. I suffer from similiar thoughts too. With me its like how much more scary can I make them or think of new ones just to piss me off because I can't seem to control them. But like today I begun to just laugh at my thoughts. Yesterday I felt like a nervous wreck and just let them run wild. The difference is that today for the most part they didn't bother me as much and I felt pretty relaxed. Sure they entered my mind but by my laughing at them and myself it seems to have had less of an affect on me. I didn't tense up or start to panic as usual. It's like if I don't give them any attention every time they come knocking the thoughts seem to loss thier intensity. I know this may sound hard to accept do but try humor. It just may work for you too. I hope I can keep this up. Like everyone who has had anxiety/panic attacks, this too shall pass. Never give up. We are all here for each other.

gator · Post by **gator** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 2:13 pm

anthony,thanks. I have tried the humor, and yes it does work. I find it troubling that the thoughts are about people that i love, and care about. People that i want NO harm to come to, and thats what scares me most. I have these thoughts, and think there is NO WAY in the world that i would hurt anyone, or myself for that matter. I find myself avoiding scary movies, the news, anything negative. Needless to say, thank GOD for Seinfelf re-runs, and other sitcoms....they are a good release, and seem to help..but i just want them to go away for good. If i remember correctly, they started several years ago, then went away for a LONG time, and are now back with a vengeance...dont know why. I dont think i am anymore stressed now than i have always been....??????

Primamomma · Post by **Primamomma** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 10:06 am

I once read a book by an author from Australia and I think it was called Power Over Panic. It was very helpful, as the program will be. One thing I have learned is that all my irrational thoughts will come, and that I can acknowledge them for what they are, irrational, and then allow them to go as quickly as they came. I cannot always control them and shut them off, but I can choose not to linger on them and let them flow out of my mind.

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 12:43 pm

Another very good book on obsessive thinking is Stop Obsessing by Foa and Wilson. You'll learn great techniques to help yourself but also you'll learn that even the so called "normal" people have these same thoughts. They just don't give them any energy. They know the thoughts are ridiculous and/or they don't care if they have the thoughts or not so consequently they are not affected by them.