Stress Center Peer Support

I am going to be married in the next few months and will be moving about an hour away from my hometown. I am terrified. Not only that but we will be living in the country (volunteer EMS) this also has me scared. I live in the city now and have a lot of limitations, thank goodness Krogers is only minutes from my home or there would be no food in it. I have put off the wedding twice because of leaving my comfort zone. I will not be able to drive back here anytime soon because of the panic. I hope someone can help me out. Has anyone else faced and came through this okay? Thanks for any help.

Hi Medgirl (and congratulations to getting married!),

I moved from my hometown in Europe to New York, new job, new apartment, new language and new friends. No safe place at all. It was unbelievable scary, but it actually went fine. I realized that I was stronger than I thought and that having a "safeplace" almost made it worse. I was really forced to face my fears by moving and that was really good for me. I know you can do it! Just find that inner strenght of yours! And just so you know, I have had a lot of anxiety in my life, including agorafobia. How far ahead in the program are you?

Best, H

WOW Hellan:
That is absolutely fantastic!!! You are doing great!
Medgirl, When I was 18 I got married and moved from Texas to Kentucky. It wasn't too scary then because I loved adventure. I wanted to see new things.
But later on in life, after I'd run in to so much stress and disappointments, I became a little afraid of things.
I understand how you feel.
But I really think you'll be okay. You'll make new friends, and find a new store and have your own place to fix up.

At least I hope you'll be okay. I liked moving on.
I think my problem might have been staying put somewhere.
I doubt this is going to help you very much.
But I sure do hope everything will be okay for you.
Best of luck.
MJ

Medgrl, you will do just fine. I had anxiety, and panic attacks in 1989, my husband got orders for Germany. I said I wasn't going to go there, I did go there. My husband and I, have three children, I flew to Germany with three children under age seven. My husband was already in Germany. I love it there.
Just don't tell yourself, you are not going to be happy there, if you tell yourself that, you will not be happy in the new town. I found the people who didn't like Germany, was the one's who didn't get out, to see what was there.
My Mother-in-law, is from Germany, she has been here for 53 years, the only family she has here is her husband (my father-in-law), his family, and her two sons. One of her son's live in another state. She has done great here. So the only family she has close by is my husband, me, our children, and her husband. Remember, there is always a phone to pick up, to call back home.
You will do great, just trust in yourself.
I live in the country, it is nice and quiet here. A place to relax. Sometimes, change is good for us.
Sunshine 1960

P.S. Cornflower (MJ) I just want to say, I always enjoy reading your post. I learn a lot from you. Thank you so much.

I am sorry that you're so anxious about the move. Really work the program -- do the journal and homework faithfully -- and it may relieve a lot of the stress and anxiety that you are facing. By the time of the wedding, you may feel better prepared to face the change. Just so you know, I was surprised when I moved to a place with a volunteer EMT -- and they're terrific! Check into it -- yours may be just as wonderful! I'll be thinking of you.

medgirl,

moving or changing from familiar confines can be a normal, stress inducer.

it's perfectly normal, and perfectly ok.

but i would imagine, that you are probably looking and focusing on all of the bad things such a move would mean, aren't you? (if you are anything like the rest of us anxiety sufferers, that answer is 'yes');)

that is ok too; if you like anxiety.

now that the negative aspects have received more than enough play, why don't you try looking at the positive side of things?

I grew up in Buffalo, NY. all of my family (save my sister) is there. I always wanted to live in CA. So, when I graduated college, I picked up and moved to Los Angeles.

Totally different weather, lifestyle, living...I had no friends and was a complete stranger.

Now, if I focused on those things, sure, it would be really hard to get me to move.

But when I thought about (and discovered) the beaches, sunrises and sunsets, the film and theatre (I am an actor and hope to become a filmmaker one day), the food, the lifestyle, the SUN...it was a no-brainer.

Sure, it took many years to finally come to peace that my hometown is in the past, my past, and not a part of my present or immediate future. that does hurt.

but life is not WHERE you live. ultimately, no PLACE is really better than any other.

what matters is what YOU bring to the table. YOUR happiness is what is most important.

so don't worry. you have got nothing to lose. if you move, what is the worst that can happen? you are miserable and tell your husband and you guys move back. but what if...you move and LOVE it?

God Bless,

I want to thank all of you for taking the time to respond to my post. I am going to work very hard at making this a positive move. The house and the setting are both very nice and it is a peaceful place to be. I feel very fortunate to have all of the support from this site. Thank you and bless you all.

Thats the Girl!!!!!
You'll be fine!!!!!
Congrats on your upcoming wedding!!!
Wishing you happiness!!!
MJ