Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2008 8:55 pm
I've had this terrible fear and anxious reaction when attending meetings. It's pretty simple almost comical as I think about it but its not funny while its going on. It starts when I arrive at a meeting a little early and there are unfilled seats on either side of me. As people start steaming in I can barely look up for fear they will sense my anxiety about where they are going to sit. for some reason I want them to sit beside me as this action indicates I must be alright, but if they don't sit beside me I feel rejected and hurt. The anxiety builds as the number of chairs get less and less and no one has sat beside me. I don't know how many times it ends up there is an empty chair beside me and often on both sides of me once the meeting starts. I just basically feel bummed out the rest of the meeting and feel I must be disliked and many times get a resentment. I even try to people please thinking that will make them want to sit beside the next meeting. Also, as people are steaming in I feel like I'm giving off some really negative vibes. Can anyone out there help me get a perspective on this? Its pretty embarassing for me to even write this, but I know it's got to be the anxiety working a number on me, I'm just not sure why the heck its happening, but it sure makes me dread meetings especially at work. also I'n pretty knew and I've just started Session 3. 
