Stress Center Peer Support

I am having such a problem with letting go of past hurts. I seem to feel so isolated from family and all the important happenings,etc. How do I work through this? I don't live near anyone in my family and all I have here is my husband and children. I can't say to much to my husband because he gets sick of hearing it and my negative thoughts. I get hurt so easy and I was hoping to get stronger through the program so why do I keep thinking of all the wrongdoings in my life. I sound so jealous of others and I realize this needs to change. My niece who I was always so close too when she was growing up just had a baby girl last night. Of course I never heard the great news from her but my mom did call today to tell me. It hurts because she can call my older sister every day and they live in diff. states as I do. Why do I always feel the need to fit in and get so hurt and offended. Why do the ones that help others and are good people always come in last. Family members give this niece so much attention and love and here I am that none of them seem to ever even think about. Me and my family we are the forgotten ones. I sorry to make this long I just need some support and I to replace this thinking and am really trying with my program. Today started off great but tonight I am just really feeling hurt and always like no one in my family even cares or even thinks of me and I am letting then make me feel this way. I realize they don't want to hear how much it hurts or affects me and they don't have a clue how lonely it is for me. Thank goodness for my beautiful kids and my mom. She does call and she gets hurt easily also I guess I inherited this from her. I am still working through lesson 3.

Ali,
Try to remember we cant change the past! The is gone,just like as i write this post, after it is written its past!
Start trying to let go of situations and hurt feelings from family! Although family seems important especially growing up, Your now an adult, with a husband and kids of your own.. THIS is your family!
Negative thoughts turn into negative living if we arent careful. Start writing down the positives about YOU! Start loving who YOU are!. Not what someone thinks you should be!
To be perfectly honest with you, I found when my anxeity and depression was so bad,, NO one wanted to be around me, or have a conversation with me, including family!
Because every word out of my mouth was, ME and HOW BAD i felt, and how so and so had hurt me. This program CAN help you,, but you have start beleiving that ALI is worth the effort!!!
Start writing positive thoughts down, so you can see them,, you may not beleive them at first, but continue and keep reinforcing those positive thoughts. Its time to stop feeling sorry for ALI, and start Loving ALI, and giving her support and hugs and pats on the back when you practice and DO positive actions!!! Just give it a try Ali, you will be glad you did!! Nelly:)

hello Ali,
I just read your post, and I see we used to have some things in common. I say "used" because I am on session 12 now and am really starting to feel like a different person. I think you are doing the right thing by working through the program. Session 3 is SO IMPORTANT. Actually I listened to it again this morning. It is the most important thing for you to LOVE YOURSELF. It is not easy to make the mental changes, but if you have gotten this far and have had the courage to order the program and realize there needs to be some changes made in your own mind, you will succeed if you keep going with the program. Realize that people want to love someone who loves themselves. People feel comfortable around people who love themselves. And guess what is even more exciting? You will love being you when you start to love yourself. And that is the greatest gift of all. Good Luck! You will succeed!
R

[QUOThanks so much Mello Nello. I really needed to hear all of that. I am trying very hard to love myself. Is there a certain way or is it just that I need to tell myself positive messages all the time. I am so greatful that you gave me so much advice and I sincerely appreciate this. I just want a fresh beginning I guess I probably am no fun being around as for always feeling sorry for me and what people have done to me. I am only hurting myself and giving them the power. I am worth it and I am getting finally. Thank you so much. For loving myself to I just keep up with the positives. TE]Originally posted by Mello Nello:
Ali,
Try to remember we cant change the past! The is gone,just like as i write this post, after it is written its past!
Start trying to let go of situations and hurt feelings from family! Although family seems important especially growing up, Your now an adult, with a husband and kids of your own.. THIS is your family!
Negative thoughts turn into negative living if we arent careful. Start writing down the positives about YOU! Start loving who YOU are!. Not what someone thinks you should be!
To be perfectly honest with you, I found when my anxeity and depression was so bad,, NO one wanted to be around me, or have a conversation with me, including family!
Because every word out of my mouth was, ME and HOW BAD i felt, and how so and so had hurt me. This program CAN help you,, but you have start beleiving that ALI is worth the effort!!!
Start writing positive thoughts down, so you can see them,, you may not beleive them at first, but continue and keep reinforcing those positive thoughts. Its time to stop feeling sorry for ALI, and start Loving ALI, and giving her support and hugs and pats on the back when you practice and DO positive actions!!! Just give it a try Ali, you will be glad you did!! Nelly:)[/QUOTE]

Hi Retna,
That is very encouraging to know you used to think like me and have turned everything around to loving yourself and being positive. I am looking forward to that kind of recovery. Thank you for the advice I really do want changes that is why I obsess over this I suppose. I am going love myself more and as hard as it is stop myself from saying the negative poor me comments. That is so hard when you have beat yourself up for long. I am going to listen to lesson 3 again and I appreciate the great advice. I am excited for the changes and am determined to beat this even when I feel my lowest. what do suggest when those feelings overcome me. The poor me nobody cares?? [UOTE]Originally posted by retna:
hello Ali,
I just read your post, and I see we used to have some things in common. I say "used" because I am on session 12 now and am really starting to feel like a different person. I think you are doing the right thing by working through the program. Session 3 is SO IMPORTANT. Actually I listened to it again this morning. It is the most important thing for you to LOVE YOURSELF. It is not easy to make the mental changes, but if you have gotten this far and have had the courage to order the program and realize there needs to be some changes made in your own mind, you will succeed if you keep going with the program. Realize that people want to love someone who loves themselves. People feel comfortable around people who love themselves. And guess what is even more exciting? You will love being you when you start to love yourself. And that is the greatest gift of all. Good Luck! You will succeed!
R[/QUOTE]

Mello I loved you post to Ali!
I even wrote part of it on my diary.
Well done!

Ali, Hang in there. It will get better. Stick to your commitment to finish this program, and you'll be amazed at the new person you become. Let go of the past, focus on the present, and remember you will begin a new future and you'll be a whole new independent you. Family, spouse, children may even get a little jealous of how independent you become. It will get a lot better. Girl! Just stick with the program, and focus on YOU! YOU'LL BE A WHOLE NEW PERSON. You'll look back on the past, and thank God for how far he has brought you, with the help of this program. Stay "POSITIVE" you'll be a new more positive you, and you'll love the new you. Hang in there, and God Bless You. I'll be cheering you on, so hang in there.