thank you...if you are talking about the sleep affirmations i wrote a few pages again then thank you...if you are talking about what you just quoted...Searunner posted that himself to cuttingirl in her thread on this section of the forums. He doesn't seem to trust his own self-talk so I wanted to show it back to him but not tell him he wrote it until the very end of that post. Perhaps he will not realize that he wrote it, think it sounds good and then find out he wrote it and actually feel somewhat good about himself. That was my plan, it sounded really good in my head.
Mike
One More Step
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
ManOfMusic -
Mega-kudos to you! Beating your craving for caffeine, sugar, and salt was no small feat. Excellent work and impressive results. I'm also pleased to hear how the changes are positively affecting your body.
Your picked a pretty big new goal, although one definitely worthy of achieving. This is one where "under-reacting" like we learned to do in the Program for dealing with anxiety may serve you well in your personal relationships. Keep in mind as you start to tackle this goal that you can't change other people, you can only change yourself and your reactions. So don't be disappointed if the people that bother you continue their negative behaviors.
My best advice is when one of these situations occurs, give yourself time to respond, or even not respond at all. Keep yourself calm but take an assertive, but not aggressive, posture when necessary. And remember that most things are not directly personally at us even when they seem to be. Other people have stress too and can take out on those around them. Of course there are the handful of folks that are just plain malicious and those people should just be avoided whenever possible.
Mega-kudos to you! Beating your craving for caffeine, sugar, and salt was no small feat. Excellent work and impressive results. I'm also pleased to hear how the changes are positively affecting your body.
Your picked a pretty big new goal, although one definitely worthy of achieving. This is one where "under-reacting" like we learned to do in the Program for dealing with anxiety may serve you well in your personal relationships. Keep in mind as you start to tackle this goal that you can't change other people, you can only change yourself and your reactions. So don't be disappointed if the people that bother you continue their negative behaviors.
My best advice is when one of these situations occurs, give yourself time to respond, or even not respond at all. Keep yourself calm but take an assertive, but not aggressive, posture when necessary. And remember that most things are not directly personally at us even when they seem to be. Other people have stress too and can take out on those around them. Of course there are the handful of folks that are just plain malicious and those people should just be avoided whenever possible.
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
Mike -
Wow! I'm amazed how quickly you came back with such an insightful, clearly well thought out, and caring response. I will definitely print both the affirmation and thought replacement posts and read them before bed time. Thank you for taking the time to develop these for me.
I do have one question for you. In your experience, how long does it take you to start believing the affirmations and thought replacements? My biggest trouble is going to be my own inner cynic that will expect things never to improve.
One last thought; have you ever considered writing books of affirmations as a career? You clearly have a talent for it and there are many people out there who could use this type of information.
Jamie
Wow! I'm amazed how quickly you came back with such an insightful, clearly well thought out, and caring response. I will definitely print both the affirmation and thought replacement posts and read them before bed time. Thank you for taking the time to develop these for me.
I do have one question for you. In your experience, how long does it take you to start believing the affirmations and thought replacements? My biggest trouble is going to be my own inner cynic that will expect things never to improve.
One last thought; have you ever considered writing books of affirmations as a career? You clearly have a talent for it and there are many people out there who could use this type of information.
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
Jilly -
Don't give up. Just because things haven't been going to plan lately doesn't mean you've failed or have lost all your progress. As soon as you realize that you're slipping back into old habits you can take that moment to start again. In most cases, we have an unlimited number of opportunities to change ourselves. And remember that it doesn't have to happen exactly the moment you get up. You can get yourself ready whenever you want to, even late in the day just to show yourself that you care about a very important person: you.
That was a very clever coping skill you used in delivering the baby formula. Great job on tackling your fears and putting things in perspective all at the same time. If we stop to think about it, our anxiety conditions have trained us to think way too much about ourselves. We constantly check our thinking, scan our bodies, and all sorts of other habits that concentrate on ourselves. That being said, I'm not judging or implying this is our fault or even our choice. But we have a lot to gain by looking outside ourselves and enjoying all of the things that are happening around us every day.
Glad to hear that you've made some changes in your diet and are already feeling the results. Keep making small changes and consider them as permanent rather than a quick fix. Your body and mind will thank you for it for the rest of your life!
Jamie
Don't give up. Just because things haven't been going to plan lately doesn't mean you've failed or have lost all your progress. As soon as you realize that you're slipping back into old habits you can take that moment to start again. In most cases, we have an unlimited number of opportunities to change ourselves. And remember that it doesn't have to happen exactly the moment you get up. You can get yourself ready whenever you want to, even late in the day just to show yourself that you care about a very important person: you.
That was a very clever coping skill you used in delivering the baby formula. Great job on tackling your fears and putting things in perspective all at the same time. If we stop to think about it, our anxiety conditions have trained us to think way too much about ourselves. We constantly check our thinking, scan our bodies, and all sorts of other habits that concentrate on ourselves. That being said, I'm not judging or implying this is our fault or even our choice. But we have a lot to gain by looking outside ourselves and enjoying all of the things that are happening around us every day.
Glad to hear that you've made some changes in your diet and are already feeling the results. Keep making small changes and consider them as permanent rather than a quick fix. Your body and mind will thank you for it for the rest of your life!
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
THH -
So true. I obviously carry around way too much stress, most of it not even necessary, and forget to let go and relax. I suppose it's partly a false sense of control that if I stay on high alert I can control my anxiety. Obviously that's a false belief and needs to be replaced.
I like your suggestion to "set [myself] up for rest." That's a really powerful thought. I can see how there a many changes in my thinking and behaviors that I can use to better my sleeping situation. Now is the hard part - putting them to use!
So true. I obviously carry around way too much stress, most of it not even necessary, and forget to let go and relax. I suppose it's partly a false sense of control that if I stay on high alert I can control my anxiety. Obviously that's a false belief and needs to be replaced.
I like your suggestion to "set [myself] up for rest." That's a really powerful thought. I can see how there a many changes in my thinking and behaviors that I can use to better my sleeping situation. Now is the hard part - putting them to use!
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
Mike and THH -
That's so awesome that you're quoting me back to myself. And I love that THH didn't even know it was me!
But you've brought up a very good point. I don't know for sure, but I suspect this is true for most people as well. I can be very helpful, compassionate, thoughtful, and insightful in dealing with other people's problems and issues but don't seem to give myself the same level of care. It's so important to realize that we deserve our own care as much as we give anyone else. This is especially true when we are trying to teach ourselves to self-soothe when dealing with stress and anxiety. Thanks for the reminder!
Jamie
That's so awesome that you're quoting me back to myself. And I love that THH didn't even know it was me!
But you've brought up a very good point. I don't know for sure, but I suspect this is true for most people as well. I can be very helpful, compassionate, thoughtful, and insightful in dealing with other people's problems and issues but don't seem to give myself the same level of care. It's so important to realize that we deserve our own care as much as we give anyone else. This is especially true when we are trying to teach ourselves to self-soothe when dealing with stress and anxiety. Thanks for the reminder!
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Your welcome. I've had alot of practice 
been replacing thoughts for 6 years and been practicing analyzing for 15 years. You also know i have been struggling with my anxiety and depression for awhile and my sleep too. So i hope this gives you hope that the affirmations will work.
Affirmations didn't work for me until i started to look at my sleep and the thoughts surrounding that. Seeing reality made them work. If you can overcome the thoughts surrounding why it won't work then they will become effective right from the moment you start to read them. This is what I have found. I have wrote a script out and I started to feel the effects the next day. The only thing that interferes is doubt and doubt is very strong when you put labels on yourself.
If someone tells me "it won't work" I would say "why would it not work? We all have the same abilities to learn and grow, the same organs with the same functions, we all have the time to do it as well. When did you get the ability to predict the future? and can you predict the future for me too?"
If someone says "I've tried everything and nothing worked" I would say "you have tried every single thing this planet has on the subject and you have not been helped even 1%?"
If someone says "I'm not good enough" I would say "how good does someone have to be in order to make changes, reach goals and improve in areas they aren't very good at? How many good points does it require?"
If someone says "I'm not like you, I can't do it", I would say "Am I the only person that can do it? I have not always been this way, I put effort towards my goals to get this way and I slowly progressed to where I am. Are you not also capable of putting effort towards goals, learning and improving?
If those statements aren't helpful enough to convince you that you can be who you want to be and make the changes then I'd suggest you look at the labels you call yourself and really define them. Luckily for us, labels don't actually exist. Nobody can be bad, ugly, stupid, a loser, lame, useless, worthless, inferior or any adjective 100% of the time. Our behaviors are not us either. I know everybody can do some bad and stupid things, we can lose at things and do things others might not accept and call lame. We certainly are not always useful all the time and am not as good at things as other people so we could be inferior in that sense. Worthless well nobody is ever worthless, we all have the same ammount of worth through our whole lives and that is permanent no matter what anybody says and we all have something to offer if we recognize it or not.
How would someone get into that kind of business? I think it would be pretty cool to go and do that but I'm not even sure where I would start. Got any ideas?
I accept you for your weaknesses and strengths no matter where you are with your sleep problem or if you struggle to get through the day. You are still you no matter what and I will accept you throughout your process of changing the sleep issue. I expect that you will fall back many times but you will also make lots of progress and I will never give you a negative label for being human in that way or in any way. If you can give yourself the same consideration, space for error and acceptance then you can do anything and you can change anything and then you will get to the same point with the affirmations that I have gotten to.
Mike
been replacing thoughts for 6 years and been practicing analyzing for 15 years. You also know i have been struggling with my anxiety and depression for awhile and my sleep too. So i hope this gives you hope that the affirmations will work.Affirmations didn't work for me until i started to look at my sleep and the thoughts surrounding that. Seeing reality made them work. If you can overcome the thoughts surrounding why it won't work then they will become effective right from the moment you start to read them. This is what I have found. I have wrote a script out and I started to feel the effects the next day. The only thing that interferes is doubt and doubt is very strong when you put labels on yourself.
If someone tells me "it won't work" I would say "why would it not work? We all have the same abilities to learn and grow, the same organs with the same functions, we all have the time to do it as well. When did you get the ability to predict the future? and can you predict the future for me too?"
If someone says "I've tried everything and nothing worked" I would say "you have tried every single thing this planet has on the subject and you have not been helped even 1%?"
If someone says "I'm not good enough" I would say "how good does someone have to be in order to make changes, reach goals and improve in areas they aren't very good at? How many good points does it require?"
If someone says "I'm not like you, I can't do it", I would say "Am I the only person that can do it? I have not always been this way, I put effort towards my goals to get this way and I slowly progressed to where I am. Are you not also capable of putting effort towards goals, learning and improving?
If those statements aren't helpful enough to convince you that you can be who you want to be and make the changes then I'd suggest you look at the labels you call yourself and really define them. Luckily for us, labels don't actually exist. Nobody can be bad, ugly, stupid, a loser, lame, useless, worthless, inferior or any adjective 100% of the time. Our behaviors are not us either. I know everybody can do some bad and stupid things, we can lose at things and do things others might not accept and call lame. We certainly are not always useful all the time and am not as good at things as other people so we could be inferior in that sense. Worthless well nobody is ever worthless, we all have the same ammount of worth through our whole lives and that is permanent no matter what anybody says and we all have something to offer if we recognize it or not.
How would someone get into that kind of business? I think it would be pretty cool to go and do that but I'm not even sure where I would start. Got any ideas?
I accept you for your weaknesses and strengths no matter where you are with your sleep problem or if you struggle to get through the day. You are still you no matter what and I will accept you throughout your process of changing the sleep issue. I expect that you will fall back many times but you will also make lots of progress and I will never give you a negative label for being human in that way or in any way. If you can give yourself the same consideration, space for error and acceptance then you can do anything and you can change anything and then you will get to the same point with the affirmations that I have gotten to.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
By the way, it has been really hard for me to compliment and accept other people for everything they are. This was a great experience to post in response to what you had posted as I spent so much time beating myself up for not caring and being so judgemental so thank you.
Another thing, I believe in you no matter how long it takes you to fix this problem. I have faith you will change it and if you have a hard time accepting yourself, just think of how I accept you when you think about your sleep problem.
Mike
Another thing, I believe in you no matter how long it takes you to fix this problem. I have faith you will change it and if you have a hard time accepting yourself, just think of how I accept you when you think about your sleep problem.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
Okay lets get back on track here. What am I going to do each day to face the "things" that I am afraid of? Or what am I going to do to
enhance my recovery and mindset?
I mentioned that I had been neglecting taking a shower every day . Well since Saturday I have taken a shower weather I need it or not. No I don't necessarily need a shower everyday since Idon't do things that would require me to. But I had been using "not showered" as an excuse for not going out or not having friends over or even not doing anything but vegging in front of the TV. Since I have made showering a priority it has really been a boost to my mood and my motivation.And to be honest I don't really care what my water bill will look like hahaha
Have a great rest of the night
xo
J~
enhance my recovery and mindset?
I mentioned that I had been neglecting taking a shower every day . Well since Saturday I have taken a shower weather I need it or not. No I don't necessarily need a shower everyday since Idon't do things that would require me to. But I had been using "not showered" as an excuse for not going out or not having friends over or even not doing anything but vegging in front of the TV. Since I have made showering a priority it has really been a boost to my mood and my motivation.And to be honest I don't really care what my water bill will look like hahaha
Have a great rest of the night
xo
J~
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
oh and scratch 2 of the affirmations from the original sleep script.
This is good as a thought replacement but what i have found is that it makes me act like that. It seems to make me want to stay up late some nights and not so much at others. That is very counter productive.
I'm afraid it will do the same as the first one does.
Mike
There may be many nights I get to sleep late but there will be many nights I get to sleep when I'm tired and I can handle the outcome of either situation.
This is good as a thought replacement but what i have found is that it makes me act like that. It seems to make me want to stay up late some nights and not so much at others. That is very counter productive.
I am very productive most days, some days I'm not. I have the opportunity to be more productive the next day
I'm afraid it will do the same as the first one does.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/