Chad, maybe this is not what you are going through, but I did so to better clarify what I stated earlier: I used to have the idea that I absolutely had to have a woman near me to 'Complete' me, the fact of one being there was a sign (in my mind) that I was really an ok and and acceptable person. Now that I have gone through the program and other materials I am very ok with who I am.
Hang in there!
Rod
FOR MEN ONLY!
-
Guest
Hi MinnChad,
I've had anxiety on and off since I was about 9. When I met my wife in High School I never told her about my problem and just knowing she loved me helped me go into an anxiety remission - I spent all my time thinking about how lucky I was instead of how miserable and unlovable I thought I was (before we met) - anyway 11 years later - with the birth of our daughter - whammo - Panic like I've never had before - I tried hiding it but one day it was like I wanted to curl into a ball and die. I had to spill my guts by asking she admit me to a mental hospital ( I thought I was really going crazy) - I thought for sure that would be the end and she would leave me - but she didn't and just held me and helped me calm down. She even went to a doctor with me and then later a psychiatrist - she was wonderful and supportive. So the moral of the story is there are good women out there - and I bet they even out number the bad so hang in there - you just haven't met the right girl yet.
I've had anxiety on and off since I was about 9. When I met my wife in High School I never told her about my problem and just knowing she loved me helped me go into an anxiety remission - I spent all my time thinking about how lucky I was instead of how miserable and unlovable I thought I was (before we met) - anyway 11 years later - with the birth of our daughter - whammo - Panic like I've never had before - I tried hiding it but one day it was like I wanted to curl into a ball and die. I had to spill my guts by asking she admit me to a mental hospital ( I thought I was really going crazy) - I thought for sure that would be the end and she would leave me - but she didn't and just held me and helped me calm down. She even went to a doctor with me and then later a psychiatrist - she was wonderful and supportive. So the moral of the story is there are good women out there - and I bet they even out number the bad so hang in there - you just haven't met the right girl yet.
-
Guest
Speaking of marriage:
- Most people get married believing a myth:
That marriage is a "beautiful box" full of all the things they have longed for, such as;
companionship, intimacy, friendship, sexual fulfillment, undying adoration, romance, etc...
The truth is, that marriage at the start is an empty box.
You must put something into it before you can take anything out.
There is no love in marriage;
love is in people, and people put it into marriage.
There is no romance in marriage;
people have to infuse it into their marriages.
A couple must learn the art and form the habits of
giving, loving, serving, praising -- "keeping the box full."
( If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty. )
- Also, Marriage won't work if you think it should be "50/50."
Do you know why?
Because, it needs to be "100/100" with each giving as much of 100% as he/she can.
When one cannot give 100%, say they can only at that time give 60%, due to illness, bad attitude (for the moment!) or something they haven't learned yet,
but the other is doing all they can to give 90%, and you add it up...
you still have 90 + 60 = 150% !!!
Isn't that neat?
(P.S. You HAD to have known that even though you labeled this post "MEN ONLY" that women would reply! C'mon - not all women are bad & not all men are perfcct. People are INDIVDUALS. There are good, compassionate women out there, but yes, I have to agree with the gentleman above who said (and this goes for women too!) Don't define yourself or who you are by wether or not you have a boy/girlfriend or mate!! One of my children do and they have always been SO unhappy... being angry and negative is just not attractive to anyone, man or woman. That's just natural. One last hint; you just WILL be happier in life if you put into it more than what you are seeking to take out of it; man OR woman!
- Most people get married believing a myth:
That marriage is a "beautiful box" full of all the things they have longed for, such as;
companionship, intimacy, friendship, sexual fulfillment, undying adoration, romance, etc...
The truth is, that marriage at the start is an empty box.
You must put something into it before you can take anything out.
There is no love in marriage;
love is in people, and people put it into marriage.
There is no romance in marriage;
people have to infuse it into their marriages.
A couple must learn the art and form the habits of
giving, loving, serving, praising -- "keeping the box full."
( If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty. )
- Also, Marriage won't work if you think it should be "50/50."
Do you know why?
Because, it needs to be "100/100" with each giving as much of 100% as he/she can.
When one cannot give 100%, say they can only at that time give 60%, due to illness, bad attitude (for the moment!) or something they haven't learned yet,
but the other is doing all they can to give 90%, and you add it up...
you still have 90 + 60 = 150% !!!
Isn't that neat?
(P.S. You HAD to have known that even though you labeled this post "MEN ONLY" that women would reply! C'mon - not all women are bad & not all men are perfcct. People are INDIVDUALS. There are good, compassionate women out there, but yes, I have to agree with the gentleman above who said (and this goes for women too!) Don't define yourself or who you are by wether or not you have a boy/girlfriend or mate!! One of my children do and they have always been SO unhappy... being angry and negative is just not attractive to anyone, man or woman. That's just natural. One last hint; you just WILL be happier in life if you put into it more than what you are seeking to take out of it; man OR woman!
-
Guest
.-
Guest
To the guy who said "women want a sensitive male" that is only typically true til they get it.. they are typically the ones who complain about falling for the complete opposite of a sensitve male time and time again, get tired of getting burned by their bs concept of "real men", and on the chance they do get that guy -- it's not what they expected. It's a recipe for a chronic power struggle, and it ain't healthy; Open up in that situation if it gets established, and you might just get treated like a dirty dog...kicked especially when you're down, until they "finally get the courage" to move on. It could turn from sweet to dysfunction before a couple months.. if it goes beyond that but the end is enevitable, depending on how broken down you are, you can actually find the humor in it and do experiments to prove to yourself that you are not delusional-- if you can muster up the strength to fake your way through for awhile. Looking back, that can help you see things for what they were.
It must be magic when that type of woman starts making eyes with you again if you're out in public radiating happiness holding hands with a sweet girl. I've seen it countless times... enough to make me sick. Indifference is a man's best friend.
It must be magic when that type of woman starts making eyes with you again if you're out in public radiating happiness holding hands with a sweet girl. I've seen it countless times... enough to make me sick. Indifference is a man's best friend.