So scared of dying

Christopher R · Post by **Christopher R** » Sat Jul 04, 2009 8:43 pm

Hi I'm a 24 year old male and a few months ago I had my first attack. I was in class, then all of a sudden my chest tightened and my right arm went numb. I thought I was having a stroke or heart attack. My girlfriend rushed me to the ER and after an hour of me sitting there, things worked themselves out and I felt better, but still went through the normal tests, EKG and bloodwork. Everything cameback normal and I began about a two week healing period where I thought the doctors missed something and I was dying. Eventually I got over my fear with the help of my mother who also suffers from anxiety. Unfourtunatly about 5 days ago something snapped in my head and I began feeling a pain in my stomach. It mostly comes after I eat or on an empty stomach. I have been stressing out so badly about it my days have been ruined. I keep thinking it's stomach cancer and cannot get over my fear. My mother and girlfriend are trying their hardest to convince me otherwise but it is proving to be more difficult than they imagined. I have a full body physical on Wednesday to get to the bottom of this. I have chronic lower back pain, but now my upper back hurts as well. My bowel movements are normal, but a feeling of nauseau falls over me after meals. I have bawled my eyes out driving home some days. This is making my life miserable. I am up right now with my stomach in knots worrying about what terrible desease the physical is going to show. I can't seem to stop looking at diagnosis websites and deciding that I have a number of deseases. Help me please, this is making my days unbearable, and I know it's taking a tole oN my family. I can't seem to have fun anymore, I'm worried constantly.
-chris

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:34 pm

Hi Christopher...you are like me. I get any pain/ache and then start googling and get myself so worked up that its a nightmare. I'm learing a few things though...first stop googling! Nothing good comes from it. You have your dr. appt on wed., so its good you are taking an active step to put your mind at ease. Anxiety can cause all kind of weird body symptoms that can be really scary. I've had tingling/hot hands, weird feelings in my chest, strange pains in my head, and a torn -up stomach, nausau...everything. All of it turned out to be anxiety and went away eventually. Just follow the program and think ...that pain in my back is probably anxiety, I'm not going to over react to it. I'll give it a couple of days/ or week and see how I feel and maybe go to dr. if it doesn't go away. You are still young and most likely its anxiety. I'm 38 and have been thinking I was going to die since I was 25. Read other posts on this community and realize you are not alone in this...you'll get through this and be better. ((hugs))

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jul 04, 2009 10:11 pm

Thank you for your words, I'm experiancing severe acid indegeation right now, I'm very sacared. I know I need to stop googling, but it's sooo hard. I just want to feel normal again. I'm tired but everytime I try and close my eyes my eye lids begin to flutter and I become restless. The pain in my stomach is making me freak out and I think that me freaking out is making my stomach worse. I'm in a catch 22 situation right now.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jul 05, 2009 10:43 am

I got acid indigestion really bad starting in Jan when I had a "relapse' in panic attacks and it is scary. It scares me...so I know what you are going through. Just try to hang in there and believe that you are going to be ok. Are you on any anti-anxiety meds? They really help me when I get bad like you are right now. Ask you dr. wednesday to give you something to help you get through this. Usually I don't need to be on anything but when I get really bad I do go back on my zoloft and adavan (spelled wrong) it helps. Stay off google! Let your Dr. handle it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:44 pm

after my original attack I was given 25 adavan and used them up after a month. I haven't needed any until recently. I've purchased pepto bismal and it as helped a ton, today has been a better day. It is the oddest feeling to on the surface know you are ok and that anxiety is causing all of this, but deep down not being able to shake this feeling of impending doom. Once again thank you for the words, you are a saint.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jul 05, 2009 3:37 pm

if anyone is afraid of anykind of pills or vitamins i would like to know about it cause i think im da only one.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 06, 2009 7:32 am

a book that really helps me and explains adrenaline and the resultant yucky physical feelings is "Freedom from Fear by Dr. Howard Leibgold". I just ordered it from an ordinary bookstore. About $10. It was recommended to me by a StressCenter.com forum person. You keep squirting yourself full of adrenaline when you do the "what if" thing. Every click of the mouse is another shot when you are googling to see what you are going to die from.

Let it all rest. You are not the doctor. Let the doctor do his/her work and you work on relaxing and refuting the negative messages that you are sending yourself.

If your mom has anxiety in her history, then you probably have it there too from her. And it's OK. It's a genetic sensitivity to adrenaline combined with a brooding, imaginative personality with perfectionistic tendencies. I know--- I have that too.

Odds are that there is no hidden disease bothering you. Greater odds are that you have gotten yourself into a super twirl and now you can't find your way out. I will pray for you to have peace and to have to courage to take the first step of saying NO to anxiety. You don't HAVE to go down that path. You can say no and tell yourself the truth.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:11 am

Hi Chris - Are you working the program? Guidelines will help you to move through this faster. Another good book is what Newrunner recommended. You must be willing to do the work involved in your healing but you can do this.

Start allowing your thoughts to come and go. This takes practice but you need to stop identifying with them. If you did not care one way or the other if you had these thoughts they would not bug you and you would not feel anxious. Try to see this.

Become the watcher of your thoughts and stop fighting them. It's really OK if the thoughts are there. You are the only one making them a big deal. Stop doing this and they will stop bothering you.

For example: So what if you have this or that. You will handle it. (You don't have any of those things but if you make it ok to have them they will cease to bother you.) Use your breath to help keep you out of your head. Practice present moment living. Always bring yourself back to your breath or back to whatever you are doing in the moment.

Your thoughts are not the problem. Your false attachment to them is the problem. You fear the anxious feelings. Feel anxious but feel anxious consciously. Make it OK to feel that way and breathe into those sensations. You can still function with them. Again, use your breath.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 09, 2009 4:43 am

Hi Christopher-

How did you make out yesterday?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 09, 2009 5:04 am

Christopher
If you don't mind I will be praying your Dr appointment and that the results are A OK. I did something similar and found out I had Acid Reflux and so I had to eat better.Apples and Bananas and yogurt are things that help my digestion. I have had to watch spicy food and greasy food and when I do that I feel 100% percent better. Take good care of yourself.

J~