Does anyone feel like their always "checking"?

[peacefulme]

I've done this program about 10 years ago and have been pretty good within that time. I recently have had this overwhelming anxiety that I had to re-visit my tapes again. I don't worry about panic attacks at all (I can manage those) but I'm always thinking about how I'm feeling and can't quite focus on anything else. I want to stop thinking about this anxiety and just focus on what I need to do. Sometimes when I'm talking with someone, my thoughts interupt me and say "I'm not normal, I don't feel normal" and then it sends me into this really depressing state. Can anyone relate? Any suggestions or tips?

[estherbunny]

I don't know if I feel exactly like what you are talking about, but I always feel that I am taking my "emotional temperature." So, during the course of a day,I am functioning on one level, but underneath that, I am questioning myself, sort of seeing how I am doing anxiety-wise. Because I do this, I can never just relax and be in the moment. For me, I think it comes from a childhood of severe trauma and abuse, so that I am always hyper-vigilant, and therefore, anxious. I would love to know what to do to lessen this, since my life today is good, and the horrors of the past are over. But,I guess they are not over for me, since I continue to feel this way. I have tried everything I can think of to change this, with little success. Anyone have any suggestions?

[LyndaLu]

dear peaceful: I know what you are talking about. I used to feel that way all of the time
5 years ago before I knew what was really going on with me, before I was diagnosed with
anxiety, depression and "mood disorder" . I am on medications now and I am doing okay so
far, but I want to go off of my meds because I have been on them for so long.
Are you working on the program now and what Session are you working on ?

dear esther: I know what you are feeling when you say that you cannot relax. I feel that
same way. I just cannot relax sometimes. I am working on the program and I am on Session
Five, but I have a long ways to go before I get to the end. Feels like it is taking forever
to get through it.

Lynda

[tina martin]

We need to remember that our issues have existed for years, since childhood for some of us. Why would we expect the program to cure that in a few weeks for all time? We are a society conditioned to impatience, to quick fixes, to instant results. Is that reasonable?

We want to be willing to work with the program, to meet it more than half way and to realize it takes time, effort, patience, tenacity. We can help each other. For me it's a daily effort, probably to the end of my days. I don't mind.

[Iwillbebetter]

I would suggest maybe treating you "checking" as negative thinking. You're feeling are always there, they are also there as warning systems. You will know when you need to do somehthing about them, they will let you know.

[peacefulme]

Thank you all for your feedback and support, it's comforting to know you are not alone.
In response to some questions, yes, it feels like I'm "checking my emotional temperature". It's like I'm feeling okay but there's a cloud hovering over me telling me that I have something wrong with me, to a certain degree I think it's like I can't let go of those bad feelings that I had (these past few months) because I'm so afraid they'll come back so I kinda keep them there so I won't be "let down". I feel like I can't give my full attention to anything because of this..don't know if that makes sense.
I've done the program 10 years ago, to be honest, I didn't quite complete it because I was feeling better almost half way through it so I didn't finish it. When this started happening, I went back to my tapes and started listening to them again. I just listened to the tapes, didn't do the homework (can't find my book). I'm really not on any session as I listen to random tapes based on what I'm feeling. A few months ago I started getting panic attacts out of the blue and even at night, strange thing ways I was happy and the fact that these came on scared me, I didn't know what was happening and why. I just went to a naturalpath and told me I have a hormonal imbalance which she has given me supplements for, will be starting soon but she wants to do more tests and suggested I start them after the tests are complete.

[LyndaLu]

A few months ago I started getting panic attacts out of the blue and even at night, strange thing ways I was happy and the fact that these came on scared me, I didn't know what was happening and why. I just went to a naturalpath and told me I have a hormonal imbalance which she has given me supplements for, will be starting soon but she wants to do more tests and suggested I start them after the tests are complete.

Tell me how those supplements work for you and what they are called ? I am going through menopause, I believe, and
I know that this changes a persons moods and how they feel ? PS: What exactly is a naturalpath ?

Lynda Lu

[peacefulme]

Hi LyndaLu,

Sorry I've taken so long to reply...haven't checked the board for a while. A naturopath is a doctor who studies natural medicine as oppossed to a medical doctor. I've started taking the supplements for a week now and can't say that I've seen an improvement yet. It does claim to take 1-2 weeks before seeing results. My natuorpath doctor said I too am in a perimenopausal stage..which she said is the link to why I'm feeling anxious and depressed. I think people in this stage of life have varying symptoms, what symptoms are you experiencing?

[lucy knepp]

Thanks for the comments. It is good to know I am not alone. I realize other ppl suffer from depression and anxiety but it helps to actually hear their thoughts and feelings. I went through the program a year ago. I am trying the mini chat and forums as a venue now since I have been relapsing. Band aid therapy is what I use too much. Distraction mostly. Self talk. Sometimes that cloud keeps on hovering. When my husband and I are in the car I know his mind is on what he needs to get at home depot or something constructive while I sit and think about unpleasant incidents in the past or worry about the future. Now my big thing is I'm 62 and I think I would like to enjoy the last 10 or 20 yrs (if I live past tomorrow) without these thoughts every min.
Enough negativity for this post. Now......many of us are truly blessed (of course we know that) but reminding myself and thinking about things the grand kids said or did that day makes me light up. So, I'll end on that note!

[LyndaLu]

Hi LyndaLu,

Sorry I've taken so long to reply...haven't checked the board for a while. A naturopath is a doctor who studies natural medicine as oppossed to a medical doctor. I've started taking the supplements for a week now and can't say that I've seen an improvement yet. It does claim to take 1-2 weeks before seeing results. My natuorpath doctor said I too am in a perimenopausal stage..which she said is the link to why I'm feeling anxious and depressed. I think people in this stage of life have varying symptoms, what symptoms are you experiencing?

Right now I am experiencing a lack of interest in anything. I am bored and tired and lonely. I have anxiey and

depression. I have a sleep disorder and I am tired all of the time . I have iron deficient anemia and I take two

iron pills a day ,from the drugstore, as prescibed by my Primary Care Physician . I have a B12 deficiency, which I just

recently finished a series of twelve B12 injections at a Hematologists office . I have nodules on my thyroid but I am

not taking medication for that problem at this time, as suggested by my Endocrinologist . I am also supposed to

be taking Vitamin D and Calcium for my osteoporosis, as prescribed by my Gynecologist,

but I have not taken them yet . I have more health issues than the ones listed,

but it is not necessary to name them at this time . I have not had hot flashes regarding the

menopause, thank goodness .

Lynda