anxiety and work

[maryanne_g]

Hello, not sure if I'm duplicating my previous topic. It didnt seem to show up. I just wanted to ask if anyone feels anxiety at work? I do. And it is like Dr. Fisher said in session 2 - accumulates over time in little increments throughout the day. A stressful phone conversation here and there, a few comments from the boss, overall stress and then I start feeling anxious, and having my stomach muscles tighten and feel really painful in my stomach and other symptoms as well. And then people in the office don't understand what is going on wiht me and why I am acting strange.

Often on my way home from work, I think that it would be good to work with other people who have anxiety disorder. That way when we have our attacks caused by general stress of the job, we wouldnt judge each other. We would just let it pass, and keep working. I so much wish that was an option. Jobs are meant to be stressful. But I wish when I feel anxious I would just be able to go through the attack just like the program teaches, without being judged by others. They don't know that I have to stop and do some self talk. They don't understand that. Is anyone in the same situation?

[Flyer99]

Years ago when I first encountered stress, anxiety and panic I would often have episodes at work. Often, when asked to go on an assignment, I just couldn't go. This was many years ago and my bosses and co-workers at the time couldn't relate nor did they understand. Some days when I was anxious I just didn't bother going into work. I am sure if I had to sit down by myself at work and talk my self through it they would think I was a little strange. I understand what you are going through, I really do. It is a difficult thing to manange when people can't relate.

Do you suppose that there would be at least one person at your work that you could totally confide in? Perhaps show them the program workbook and what you are attempting to do? It would be great if that someone could be your immediate boss. It is a struggle. I have struggled my entire life with people not understanding or even having the courtesy to listen to my concerns. At least your work is the minority of your daily hours and you can practice the program's techniques during other parts of the day.

I know what you mean though. It is hard to practice the program (flowing through the anxiety, letting time pass, etc) if you are at work and nobody understands. People should never judge other people. People can be so superficial and judgemental without ever taking the time to get to know someone. The other thing is many people don't wish to get involved anymore. They don't want to help. Today, people's lives tend to revolve around themselves. This, however, is no excuse to judging someone and acting strangely toward them.

I don't know if I would like to work with other people with anxiety totally. I actually had to stop going to one "support" group as there was no support. It was simply people relating problem after problem. I got nothing out of it but even more anxiety and stress. I do know what you mean though.

Your physical reactions at work are normal and are caused by anxiety. But you know that already. I guess you have to continue as best you can and perhaps find a friendly co-worker or look for another place of employment (I did that and it worked). But when you get home, please use the relaxation cd and relax to the best of your ability. That working day is done, gone, and there is no use in hashing over your day in your mind.

In Lesson 3 you will learn all about replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Lesson 3 is THE crucial lesson of the program. Take your time on it. If you have to spend longer on that lesson, please do.

Take care and I wish you every success. You will overcome this!

[maryanne_g]

Thank you for such a thorough answer. Unfortunately I do not think that people will understand. Anxiety is considered a mental illness and people just assume that you are plain crazy. And get scared of you or judge and laugh at you. That's the truth. I do wish I could work with others who have the same disorder. This way for example I have a lot of stressful phone calls and I start feeling frustrated. I can stop and breathe for a minute or two and nobody would think that it's weird.

And unfortunately work is not the minority of hours. There is getting ready in the morning, then there is commute about 40 min. Then there is 7 to 8 hr work day, commute back. Then I go to the gym, then I have to get ready for the next day and that's it. I work as a bookkeeper/office manager for a busy firm. What do you do?

[John61]

I totally understand what you are going through Marianne! I have 1 or 2 friends at work that I confide in but I never let my peers or management know. My opinion is once you open that door you can never close it again. Unfortunately you could tell your boss you have cancer or lupus or any other problem but the stigma aroung an anxiety disorder is not always excepted like other things and I work for health care. I'm able to come to this forum at work and that helps alot.

[maryanne_g]

Thanks for the answer. After this program I'll be able to cope at work. But for now it's a mess. What I didn't realize before is that it's not just when there is some huge stressful event or something like that. But it's like Dr. Fisher said it accumulates throughout the day in little increments and then boom you had enough. I used to not understand my sudden outbursts like nothing major was going on and I'd have an attack. But now I get it - it's because of those little stressful situations that accumulated one by one and at some point my mind and body had enough.

Anyway thanks again for the answer and I'll be coming to this forum too. That certainly helps. I don't understand why would people consider anxiety crazy. I mean it certainly is a disorder. But I mean I am a normal human being otherwise. I understand everything, I can read, write, I don't hurt anyone. Why the fact that I freak out for a lack of a better word makes me crazy.

[Gigi123]

Yes! I do experience anxiety at work. I would say I'm still very high functioning but what I experience I would say almost every day is this feeling of shortness of breath, like I'm running out of air as I talk to people. It's SO annoying. I guess I feel concerned about how it looks to the people I work with. I feel like I blush easily as well, so now people I work with avoid looking at me, which makes me feel a thousand times worse. I just wish sometimes that people could understand what I go through on a daily basis at work. Other than that, I'm pretty comfortable at work,hehe I have had jobs where I've been MUCH more comfortable and almost anxiety free, but this position I have very little direction from my boss, she's a horrible communicator and I had barely any training. And I wonder why I'm anxious at work,hehehe

[maryanne_g]

Sometimes I think maybe I chose a wrong field. I'm a bookkeeper/office manager. It's stressful on daily basis. I do all the billing and interact with suppliers and customers. I am always wondering what kinds of jobs other people with anxiety are able to do. You say you are still very high functioning overall. May I ask what field are you in? Sometimes I feel that maybe if I change the field I am in, I'll be better off.

[Gigi123]

Maryanne, I'm an Admin assistant,hehe Probably not the response you were looking for I often feel like I'm not really doing the job I'm suppose to be doing. This pays the bills, that's about it. I'm a very creative person but I have worked in creative fields too and let me tell you, it doesn't matter what job you have, there will always be some sort of stress, or at least there will be if you allow the stress to enter your life. But even if you're a calm person and you manage stress well, it'll still be there in one form or another. But I have worked in customer service before and I will agree that that's a "different" type of stress that can be difficult to deal with. So I feel for you there. There's no pleasing some people. Maybe you would prefer an office job that doesn't have you dealing with the public on a daily basis.

[tbabystroup]

I can't totally relate to this as i work in the family business, and even though my mother (boss) thinks i'm crazy i still feel relaxed because she is still a "safe zone"... but i do have the same issues at school and i can only imagine once i get to the part where i have to do my clinical experience just how much anxiety that will bring with it!! i have to force myself to go to my classes, where i sit in the last chair by the door (which means i can barely read the projector), and each class is one painful experience after another!! hang in there... we will all over come this!!!
aside from just being plain miserable, the other reason i decided i have to get a grip on this now is that i do not want to work my current low salary job forever, school is becoming more and more of a problem for me, and my profession of choice (nursing) is definitely going to be stressful. I walked out of my first and only appointment with my therapist a few months ago, because not only was she totally against a med. free cure, but she told me i should pick a new career path because nursing school and the job itself are to stressful for my personality type...wtf... you would think that someone who genuinely wants to get herself under control would be a nice change for a therapist who deal with people who only want to medicate to suppress the issues they have...grhhh!
anyway... to cut my rambling short... i really hope that this program brings us all peace in our lives

[John61]

I think people would be amazed at how much effort it takes us to get up and make it to work on a bad day. I do have 2 people I confide in at work that go through similar problems and that helps also. In general I'm very reserved as to how much I tell people. 95% of the time they can't tell anything is wrong anyway. I had a panic attack at the grocery store with my wife and another at the dinner table and not 1 person even new. Most of us think people can tell when we are having attacks but they really can't. I don't like to let people at work know because of past experience with another coworker. He was pretty open about everything and it didn't work out to good for him. That being said I guess you have to judge your own work place and weather they will be kind and excepting or not. I think this disorder is becoming more excepted everyday when you see famous people stepping forward. I noticed my insurance company is covering more and more types of therapy every year which is good news.