Husband upset w/ me

[SummerLove]

Help! I've been married for 16 yrs and my marriage, or my anxiety isn't getting any better. It's like my husband & I are not on the same page. I am so negative and he is so upbeat, but it has taken its toll on him and now he doesn't love me.

It just seems like everytime I open my mouth, I screw up, but then when I don't say anything, he says I am "pouting".

I am so upset with myself, mainly. I want to undo all the bad stuff, and I have been trying for years, but what is wrong with me.

I have more men friends than women friends and I get too protective of him when he is talking to other women. I am sooo insecure.

These feelings of anxiety are really working on me. I have REALLY BAD mornings, but things have been lifting by evening, but then morning comes & I feel like I am back to square one.

I am scared. Is there anyone out there like me?? I feel so alone.

[Guest]

Summerlove,

First of all, you are never alone. You have anxiety and it sounds to me that it has to do with your anxiety about being abandoned. I am not a professional but I do know that insecurity is often abandonment feelings in disguise.

Being scared is part of the anxiety condition and is completely natural. The reason you get along with men better then women is probably because they are not a threat to your relationship with your husband. You might have an inner fear like, "If I become friends with a woman, that woman may take my husband from me and I am left abandoned". The fear of abandonment can be very intense and has many different faces.

I would suggest trying to build your self-esteem. Try to feel better about YOU. YOU are worthy of love and being loved. I know this is hard to take at times, but invest time into YOU and the insecurities should dissipate.

Also, for me, being more spiritual is a good for our souls. It helps give us another place to go to when we feel all alone.

I hope this helps. God Bless

Zoe

[Guest]

Summerlove - I can relate to where you are at this point in your life and you are not alone. My story is so much the same with my wife before I found this program. Now that I am working on me, in turn, it is really making our relationship stronger and better. We have to deal with us first, before we can improve other relationships. Hopefully you have started the program, I believe it will bring you what you need. Good Luck and stay in touch.

[Guest]

summerlove, I agree with nelsonproject. you have to work on getting you better first. I too get along with men better than women but not because I'm jealous or afraid they will take my man, because women can be very mean and petty and hold a grudge FOR EVER.Once you start to take care of yourself and feel more confident your husbands interest in you should be peeked again.When this happens to someone the spouse wants back the person they fell in love with. If you have never experienced extreme anxiety, there's no true way to understand it.I went through some thing similar with my fist husband when my panic disorder fist presented itself. Fix you First.This program, Your family doctor, meds.,What ever it takes to find you again!

[Lew]

I know anxiety has taken a toll on every area of my life. When I look back I really don't know how anyone has put up with me. I know my husband and kids think I am irrational most of the time. I know it is the anxiety that is controlling me and my behavior. I agree with Nelson Project. We need to get ourselves better. Once we are better than we can deal with other people. I know I fessed up to my family and told them I am very sorry and the anxiety has taken over me and my actions. That I needed time to get better. They really seemed to appreciate my honesty. I think saying the words out loud and asking them for their help was very uplifting. I know this program helped get me on the right path. I know it takes work to get better. Good luck.