mark167,
Glad to see you are back. You have some great encouragement for kathy-koko. And NinjaFrodo has a great point... Try to focus on looking forward. Try not to compare what you have had in the past. Celebrate that you had 4 great months. Is there a reason to give your depression a number? I'm sure the financial problems are depressing in themselves. Try reading page 169/170 of the book, What To Say When You Talk To Your Self. Read it out loud at least 3 times a day for a month. Write down one thing you want to accomplish this week. Read it every day. Compliment yourself for the steps you take each day. It takes time to get rid of the negative thinking but have a positive statement you can say every time a negative thought starts in your head. It will work but small steps add up to big steps! You have made progress these past 4 months. List those things and don't look back. See the glass half full, not half empty. Diet can make a big difference. B Vitamins are very important. Walnuts and green leafy vegetables are important too. Try not to eat junk food, especially soda or foods with aspartame. Kathy_koko and mark167, you both have so much to live for. Remind yourselves that you are smart and intelligent and you can make changes. Be patient with yourselves. I know you both can find peace of mind.
I'm afraid to even start!
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ariadnesthread_
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2010 1:01 am
Mark, try thinking of the program as a necessity. Like eating or using the bathroom. Take time out to do it every day, and let your mind stray to the week's objectives in your quiet moments.
It was hard for me to realize that I'm not being selfish in shutting everyone else out for an hour a day, I MUST take care of myself if I'm going to be any good to them. You have to do the same. Like Lucinda says, "We all have the same 24 hours in a day." Do the program, it works and YOU ARE WORTH IT!
It was hard for me to realize that I'm not being selfish in shutting everyone else out for an hour a day, I MUST take care of myself if I'm going to be any good to them. You have to do the same. Like Lucinda says, "We all have the same 24 hours in a day." Do the program, it works and YOU ARE WORTH IT!
I am new here,actually i have had Lucindas program for several months now,i started and was so overwelmed that i stopped and now i'm at another low pt and have decided to pick it up again because if i dont do smthng i'm gonna lose the best relationship i've ever been in,he's a great person and doesn't deserve to be treated the way i treat him sometimes or have to deal with my severe mood swings especially when he's such a fun loving person and deserves to have someone not so messed up!
i got the program a few months ago, and all i did was listen to the CDs as i would lie in bed in the dark like i do so many days. i just hated the silence, but just listening doesn't get you anywhere. i finally got started when i signed up for a coach to push me along. only had two calls so far, and i'm still getting up the courage to actually do what the course says, but at least i got someone checking up on me. honestly, i'm counting on being embarrassed if he calls me at the regular time and i haven't done anything to get me to do it!
i sure hope it works, because i'm dangerously beyond caring.
i sure hope it works, because i'm dangerously beyond caring.
I have been checking in once in a while and have appreciated your posts. Since early Aug my mid-severe depression continued and worsened a little after my 48th birthday. It was frustrating as this bout continued for almost 3 months, whereas my last 3 bouts (albeit more extreme) lasted only 4-6 weeks. The months in between were not at all great but just tolerable. At one point I kind of made an ultimatum. I decided after struggling with depression since my mid teens, I was not wanting to face my 50's in the same manner and if things did not improve drastically in the next 2 years, I would succumb to the struggle. Perhaps that 'decision' helped me look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Since the end of Sept I have been doing quite a bit better, but not really sure why or how. It is very strange, but nice, feeling 'good' for a change.
I have to admit that I have not looked at or listened to the program for a long time. I believe in 'it works if you work it' and even moreso the other way - it definitely does not work if you don't work the program. Very slowly I am believing I am worth it. Perhaps the little I did at the beginning rubbed off on me enough to start changing. I haven't even found my book to read, Susan. The program should be a necessity, to do it every day as a habit. That would help change my life and give me something to hang on to for hope, because I have had more than enough weeks of also being dangerously beyond caring. I also wish I had someone to coach/push me in the right direction, when I can't find my own way, which is usual.
Yes, Mike, I should work on my program, find a job and a social life. I have been a great should-er most of my life, so now I need to be a do-er. Becoming more active in getting things done, and finding the courage to do things differently has helped, as my old way of doing things has brought me nothing but despair and pain. I do now have more positive thoughts but it is still a constant struggle to push the negative thoughts aside. I clearly remember how bleak things were, and thinking it was not going to get any better, so I am grateful for the progress I have made so far, and as always, for the support from this forum. Thank you.
I have to admit that I have not looked at or listened to the program for a long time. I believe in 'it works if you work it' and even moreso the other way - it definitely does not work if you don't work the program. Very slowly I am believing I am worth it. Perhaps the little I did at the beginning rubbed off on me enough to start changing. I haven't even found my book to read, Susan. The program should be a necessity, to do it every day as a habit. That would help change my life and give me something to hang on to for hope, because I have had more than enough weeks of also being dangerously beyond caring. I also wish I had someone to coach/push me in the right direction, when I can't find my own way, which is usual.
Yes, Mike, I should work on my program, find a job and a social life. I have been a great should-er most of my life, so now I need to be a do-er. Becoming more active in getting things done, and finding the courage to do things differently has helped, as my old way of doing things has brought me nothing but despair and pain. I do now have more positive thoughts but it is still a constant struggle to push the negative thoughts aside. I clearly remember how bleak things were, and thinking it was not going to get any better, so I am grateful for the progress I have made so far, and as always, for the support from this forum. Thank you.
"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no one. Yesterday's history. Tomorrow's a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present." --- "Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way.”
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
I hope things are going well for you since you last post. One thing that might help in case you haven't heard it before is to lose the "I should, must or ought tos" in your thinking. Dr David Burns uses this in his book Feeling Good Mood Therapy book and workbook. This helps one to change their negative thinking to a more positive outcome. Instead focus on the reward.
mark157:
I can surely relate to what you are talking about. I am 50 years old, unemployed and all of my old friends are at my old job! And the only family I have living in town is my elderly mother. No support for me there.
Just keep writing and we will try to help you though the hard times.
Take baby steps, give yourself a pat on the back for the little things you accomplish and do something positive every day ( watch a funny television show, look at a beautiful photograph, do something nice for someone else, talk to yourself in a kind and comforting manner, read a great book, go outside for some fresh air and sunshine ).
I am trying all of the above and it seems to be working. I watch more comedy shows now, instead of extreme crime shows. I have a beautiful photo of the ocean that I took a few years ago on a vacation and that photo has a sort of calming effect on me when I look at it. I have been sending my sister nice little positive thinking notes in the mail. I am reading that book: "What To Say When You Talk To Yourself". I went outside the other day and I saw some flowers and I could not get over how great that was! I went out twice this week so far to have dinner at places I have never been to before and I ate by myself too. All of that stuff really helps to make me feel better.
I volunteer at the Humane Society once a week and that really helps me interact and communicate with people and it makes me feel good that I am helping the animals there ( even though my wonderful job duties are to scrub and sterilize the surgical instruments used to spay and neuter cats and dogs and I also wash towels and blankets),at least I have something to do inbetween the job hunting.
I made a schedule for myself for this week,for each day of the week. Have I completed absolutely everything on my list for each day, no I haven't. Have I completed some of the things on my list, yes I have. I am proud of myself for the things I DID accomplish. Is it easy? No. Am I perfect, not even close.
When I got to Session Three I was so interested in it because I KNEW I was a negative thinker and I wanted to see what the CD was all about and the workbook too. Session Four was about expectations and I KNEW what that was all about too, it was ME written on every page!
I suffered from clinical/suicidal depression back in 2007. Yes, I take medication and plan on continuing to take it because I need it at this time. I still ordered the program even though it was written for people with anxiety,stress and mild to moderate depression.
I am seeing my psychiatrist on a regular basis. I talked to him about the program before I started it and he was not opposed to it at all.
I had tried psychologists and that just wasn't getting me anywhere. But here I am, still alive and trying to make each day better than
the day before. Did I ever think that all of this trouble and turmoil would happen to me ? Never.
I had better sign off now. I gave up coffee at the beginning of the program, and then today I ate too much Halloween Candy and I am all hyped up. Thank God I am starting Session 5, all about exercise and eating ! Just in time before the Holidays !
Thank you for listening to my long rambling note.
Lynda Lu
I can surely relate to what you are talking about. I am 50 years old, unemployed and all of my old friends are at my old job! And the only family I have living in town is my elderly mother. No support for me there.
Just keep writing and we will try to help you though the hard times.
Take baby steps, give yourself a pat on the back for the little things you accomplish and do something positive every day ( watch a funny television show, look at a beautiful photograph, do something nice for someone else, talk to yourself in a kind and comforting manner, read a great book, go outside for some fresh air and sunshine ).
I am trying all of the above and it seems to be working. I watch more comedy shows now, instead of extreme crime shows. I have a beautiful photo of the ocean that I took a few years ago on a vacation and that photo has a sort of calming effect on me when I look at it. I have been sending my sister nice little positive thinking notes in the mail. I am reading that book: "What To Say When You Talk To Yourself". I went outside the other day and I saw some flowers and I could not get over how great that was! I went out twice this week so far to have dinner at places I have never been to before and I ate by myself too. All of that stuff really helps to make me feel better.
I volunteer at the Humane Society once a week and that really helps me interact and communicate with people and it makes me feel good that I am helping the animals there ( even though my wonderful job duties are to scrub and sterilize the surgical instruments used to spay and neuter cats and dogs and I also wash towels and blankets),at least I have something to do inbetween the job hunting.
I made a schedule for myself for this week,for each day of the week. Have I completed absolutely everything on my list for each day, no I haven't. Have I completed some of the things on my list, yes I have. I am proud of myself for the things I DID accomplish. Is it easy? No. Am I perfect, not even close.
When I got to Session Three I was so interested in it because I KNEW I was a negative thinker and I wanted to see what the CD was all about and the workbook too. Session Four was about expectations and I KNEW what that was all about too, it was ME written on every page!
I suffered from clinical/suicidal depression back in 2007. Yes, I take medication and plan on continuing to take it because I need it at this time. I still ordered the program even though it was written for people with anxiety,stress and mild to moderate depression.
I am seeing my psychiatrist on a regular basis. I talked to him about the program before I started it and he was not opposed to it at all.
I had tried psychologists and that just wasn't getting me anywhere. But here I am, still alive and trying to make each day better than
the day before. Did I ever think that all of this trouble and turmoil would happen to me ? Never.
I had better sign off now. I gave up coffee at the beginning of the program, and then today I ate too much Halloween Candy and I am all hyped up. Thank God I am starting Session 5, all about exercise and eating ! Just in time before the Holidays !
Thank you for listening to my long rambling note.
Lynda Lu
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Susan Gilbert
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2009 6:34 pm
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Susan, good to hear you are making progress. I actually went to Wallyworld and bought some healthy foods and the little spiral notebooks for negative thoughts. This was good for me to get out, but did feel good feelings, and then icky. Which probably is because not all people there have good intentions.
But I found it interesting to get behind a man who was loading up the conveyor belt with canned cat food. A little spendy, but I wasn't judging him on that, I just noticed how unaware he was of me being right behind him and how he used one hand to grab two cans at a time instead of using two hands and getting the cans quickly on the conveyor belt and to the cashier.
I am always, in the thinking mode, to multitask, concern for the cashier and the person behind me in line. But I just observed and didn't make any judgments as to whether this was a wrong thing or right thing. And the store wasn't very busy. It is all in the way we "think" that brings on frustration and anxiety.
You're doing great!
But I found it interesting to get behind a man who was loading up the conveyor belt with canned cat food. A little spendy, but I wasn't judging him on that, I just noticed how unaware he was of me being right behind him and how he used one hand to grab two cans at a time instead of using two hands and getting the cans quickly on the conveyor belt and to the cashier.
I am always, in the thinking mode, to multitask, concern for the cashier and the person behind me in line. But I just observed and didn't make any judgments as to whether this was a wrong thing or right thing. And the store wasn't very busy. It is all in the way we "think" that brings on frustration and anxiety.
You're doing great!
I have had the program on my table for 2 weeks because of the overwhelming feeling I had that It might make it worse I finally opened in today the feeling of releif after ptting in starter disc is such a great feeling when u always feel anixous.
I beleive I didnt open it because I am so acustomed to feeling panic and Anxious that having something to help my {I call it the bad friend that won't go away)acuallay go away scares me.
I beleive I didnt open it because I am so acustomed to feeling panic and Anxious that having something to help my {I call it the bad friend that won't go away)acuallay go away scares me.