Stress Center Peer Support

Hi all,

I have done the program and am doing it a third time now.

I can HONESTLY say and BELIEVE that this time I am different. I look at things different, I see things differently, and can finally understand it.

Do I have growth spurts? You bet.
Can I handle them? you bet.
And I always feel better after and can learn some thing from each one.

My biggest thing so far is seeing my scary thoughts for what they are- thoughts. Nothing more. Just mental energy.
That is HUGE!
Do some stories still scare me? Yes. But I now know I can handle it, I don't need to panic because when I do I put my body through this terrible stress response for NO reason. Why do it when I know that it will pass an din a day or two I will be perfectly fine?
I'm not saying it's easy to break, it is a BAD habit, addiction really. It takes time, patience, practice, practice, and more practice. But once I can say, Yes, I will probably be practicing this for a long time to come, then I was OK! I'm ok with practicing for a long time. I know I didn't become anxious overnight and I do NOT expect it go away overnight.



My doctor said to me the other day during a check up "That program really was wonderful and helped you."

I see the difference in myself and so do my friends and family. I am not 100% because sometimes I do worry needlessly but I can correct it so much faster now.

I've dealt with my Grandfather getting ill and dying this year and I never EVER thought I could.
I did it. I miss him terribly but I know he is with me.
My family has also lost many family friends this year including one to a murder-suicide. It was horrific and unbeleivable. But I got through it. I survived even thought my biggest OST's were suicide and hurting people

I am now getting on a flight by myself on Friday to go to Southern California (First Time to California not flying alone). My BF is flying out a day early for work and then I will meet him there a day later and start our vacation.

I am even going to see if I can fly standby to get in earlier! If not I have 4 hour layover in Minneeapolis. If i can't make a flight so be it, but I am comfortable with being there by myself and taking a risk! Challenging myself!
I feel empowered and I love it.
I even signed for my first car last week!
I am metting with my boss tomorrow morning about a potential promotion!

All good things. I just wanted to say Thank YOU to all of you at the StressCenter.com!
It is the best thing I 've done for myself.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

Lisa

What a wonderful testimony on your progress! I've gone thru the program three times also and I'm OK with continuing to do so for as long as I need to keep it reinforced. Your patience with this has really paid off. You must be very proud of yourself!

Thanks Mary,
I am. I feel GOOD. Very Good.
I can see how my habits have been seeded into my behaivor over time.
Sometimes when things are going well, I feel I should worry because that is what I have always done.

NO need for that..
Life is too short...
Take care!

Congratulations, Lisa! Perseverence. That's what it takes. Never, ever giving up and you are living testimony to that.

Healing doesn't mean never feeling anxiety again. It means when it happens you know you can handle it. You don't worry about it coming again because if it does it does, so what. No big deal. I'LL HANDLE IT. And, with that, we let go of the fear of it and consequently we feel it less and less. It becomes a rare thing instead of the norm.

Blessings.

thanks Bonnie!

You really have been a big part of this too. I have printed out some of the posts and Pm's from you.
I know that I am not FREE from anxiety, the difference is, like you said, knowing that if I feel that way or have a wierd thought, so be it.

It has only been a few days for me being this way, but I really do feel different. Even that soon, is that possible? I don't know but I'd like to think so. It's not like I've been working on this overnight, its been three years.

Like I said I still get that FEAR response sometimes but I know what it is now and I also notice it DOESN't matter WHAT thought brought on the feelings(fear response) per se but the FEELING (fear response) is the same. It is FEAR. Nasty FEAR and I don't want to keep living in fear.
I have a choice, to either live in Fear, or accept it and move on, and when I do that, the fear dissapates. It's amazing really.

Thanks again.

Wish me luck on my challenge!!!
Lisa

You have been working on yourself faithfully for a long time. You will have "ah ha" moments. You are experiencing them now and feeling that, yes, I can handle this. Even when those feelings come and your initial reaction may be fear (a squirt of adrenalin) your tools come to your rescue and you change your response in that moment. "Oh, that's right. It's just anxiety. I know from experience now that it won't hurt me." And you begin to calm down and are able to keep your anxious levels down to a minimal number. That's healing. That's success. You are knowing more and more now that you don't need to be afraid of the adrenalin. "It's just adrenalin and it can't hurt me." You got it, Lisa!

What a great story and inspiration! I am just in week one of the program for the very first time and hope I am so much better and excited like you when I have completed it. It is good to know there is hope and this can work for me to! Thanks!

Thanks everybody!

I appreciate all of your responses.

I am getting better. I have a funny little blurp to share.

After writing all that yesterday I went to my boyfriend's house for lunch. He wasn't there yet but I was eating lunch on my work break.

I had a random thought-"What if I don't love Michael?"

Now- we have been together for over three years, he is the best man that I have ever been with, and he loves me SO much and is NOT afraid to tell me.
I love him with all my heart and I have NO idea what I would do without him.
So you can probably see the kind of reaction I had. "WHY am I thinking this. Great were going away on vacation this week. What if I have those thought while on the trip and ruin it?'

He then pulled up in his car and my heart dropped.
It made me realize how much I find him attractive and love him.
We cuddled and snuggled for the rest of my break and it made me realize how silly this thought was.
It was like I was trying to create that FEAR response just because I was used to it.

NO MORE!
I know that this is habit and I can constantly work on this and float with WHATEVER comes to mind. I do not however, need to believe these thoughts because they are lies!!!
'Like this one.
You now I continued to really wonder, But what did that thought mean???

So, my point to the whole novel here is, no matter what, its all the same. I need to accept, make room for the thoughts, feel whatever feeling they bring, and move on.
Believe the truth.
I remember Carolyn wrote to someone in a post before, "the thoughts are only a problem when the thinker believes them to be true"

How true is that??

I am going to have a wonderful time and really look foward to it.
=)

Lisa

Ld26angell, you are such an inspiration to us all. I'm almost catching my thoughts as you are doing. I still have feelings without knowing what thought started it but at least now I can say whatever and replace it with a positive truthfull response.

thank you thank you thank you!! i cant tell you how much your story has helped me!!! i'm so happy for you!!! i feel like i'm in the same boat as you...but just a little behind, but i'll get there. i was wondering if you can tell me how you dealt with your Grandfather's death, i'm in a similar situation with my grandmother, she lives with us, so when she has bad days, it really affects me. was it like that for you too. i feel like i'll go crazy when she dies. i feel like i'll go back to square one or worst then square one. i'm so scared. did you have the same scare thoughts?? i would love to hear from you!! thank you!!!