Stood up for myself at work !!!!!!!

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Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:00 am

Originally posted by Bria Murphree:
That is wonderful music man I work with lots of bullies. I have been there for 3 years I wish I could have been so nice when I stood up for myself this past year. Instead I told then if you all want to push me around anymore they would have to start paying my bills or I was going to snap and beat some a##. Well it stopped but now everyone thinks I'm crazy. LOL
I should have had the program sooner. take care Bria
Hi Bria! i am very new to this program. i just want to say that I can really relate. i am not confrontational at all. I am scared to get into fights because i wear weave and wigs alot; i dont want anyone to pull it off my head. I really wear them for a purpose. Since i started the program, i have really stood up for myself! I am glad things are progressing for u as well! YOU GO GURL! -H

Guest

Post by Guest » Fri Jan 22, 2010 4:23 am

I think it's great that you stood up for yourself. I am going through a similar problem right now - only there's a group of bullies. They have been through three people in my position in less than two years. I didn't know that before starting the job. It's a group of twelve people and only one man - he hates it there along with me. However, I have taken my situation to a higher authority. They didn't expect this because they've always reduced everyone before me to tears. Years of experience have taught me to stand up for myself but it's not easy. I have my union, Labor Relations, HR and Inspector General involved - it's that bad. Sometimes standing up for yourself can bring more attacks from bullies and sometimes it's so unexpected that they back off. Most bullies are insecure but you can't focus on the fact that it's not you or whomever else their target is - you simply have to do what you can. It really is liberating. I'm in the midst of it right now and years ago I used to be too nice and just walked away. I didn't tolerate it, I got away from it but I still left feeling I'd let them get away with it. Gradually, I learned to stand up for myself but in a very aggressive manner. I went from passive and too nice to aggressive because by the time I talked myself in to just letting my anger out that came with being treated that way - it came out strong. Now, I'm assertive - don't harm myself but stay in control. They love when you lose control and hate it when you don't - so do your best to not lose control - results come so much faster. Basically, I'm a really happy person and unhappy peoople seem to gravitate towards happy and/or nice people - they see that as a weakness to be attacked and to get their minds off their own problems. There's a lot of advice out there - I've read and heard most of it - but the best that has worked for me personally is to understand why they do it - not for them - but for you so that you don't take it personal and it gives you the information you need to find and use the tools you need to handle it in a way that empowers you and is effective. Life is a journey and we all have to protect ourselves and it feels great to stand up for yourself - even if you don't do it right at first, keep working on it - it really does work.

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