Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:29 am
While I was reading some of the Triumph stories on here today it became apparent to me that I made a step in taking control of my anxiety w/out even noticing it.
A year ago I got laid off from work, I didn't mind because I was enjoying the time off to do home improvements etc. (I've had anxiety, agoraphobia to a degree etc since I was a kid) last summer I'd take my dog for a walk but only out of guilt because I felt bad for him not getting exercise and every time we'd go for a walk around my area I'd have anxiety the whole time. This past fall I fell down the stairs and hurt my back it took 6 weeks to heal during that time I started not caring about the home improvements anymore (partly I think due to SAD winter blues etc) then I got sick in January for 2.5 months with a virus, then my depression and anxiety came out like a lion (for years up until the past two months I was able to talk myself out of anxiety, the last two months I haven't been able to talk myself out of it at all).
I decided a little over a week ago to start taking my dog for a walk every day no matter how anxious it made me I would do it and eventually over come the anxiety of it. So I started out going around the small block (takes a little less then 10 minutes to do it). After two days of that I said go for it and I did the big block that takes about half an hour depending if we are just walking or if my dog is sniffing around. It has taken less then a week of doing this daily to overcome my fears of it. Irrational fears of something happening to me I pass out and my dog takes off or someone takes him. Today is a test day for me since it's raining and I really don't feel like going for a walk but I'm going to throw my rain coat on and just do it. We've been going for 2 to 3 walks a day the last 5 days but even if I only do one walk today in the rain I will be happy because I'm having to force myself to do it.
This may not seem big to some but for me it is considering I could easily become house bound in a heart beat if I had someone who would do the food shopping for me etc (food shopping is the next thing to attack, since I get anxious there and end up only buying half the food on the list because I can't wait to get out of the store). Thanks to all those who's stories I've read today on the Triumph board it was because of those stories I was able to see a little triumph in myself!
A year ago I got laid off from work, I didn't mind because I was enjoying the time off to do home improvements etc. (I've had anxiety, agoraphobia to a degree etc since I was a kid) last summer I'd take my dog for a walk but only out of guilt because I felt bad for him not getting exercise and every time we'd go for a walk around my area I'd have anxiety the whole time. This past fall I fell down the stairs and hurt my back it took 6 weeks to heal during that time I started not caring about the home improvements anymore (partly I think due to SAD winter blues etc) then I got sick in January for 2.5 months with a virus, then my depression and anxiety came out like a lion (for years up until the past two months I was able to talk myself out of anxiety, the last two months I haven't been able to talk myself out of it at all).
I decided a little over a week ago to start taking my dog for a walk every day no matter how anxious it made me I would do it and eventually over come the anxiety of it. So I started out going around the small block (takes a little less then 10 minutes to do it). After two days of that I said go for it and I did the big block that takes about half an hour depending if we are just walking or if my dog is sniffing around. It has taken less then a week of doing this daily to overcome my fears of it. Irrational fears of something happening to me I pass out and my dog takes off or someone takes him. Today is a test day for me since it's raining and I really don't feel like going for a walk but I'm going to throw my rain coat on and just do it. We've been going for 2 to 3 walks a day the last 5 days but even if I only do one walk today in the rain I will be happy because I'm having to force myself to do it.
This may not seem big to some but for me it is considering I could easily become house bound in a heart beat if I had someone who would do the food shopping for me etc (food shopping is the next thing to attack, since I get anxious there and end up only buying half the food on the list because I can't wait to get out of the store). Thanks to all those who's stories I've read today on the Triumph board it was because of those stories I was able to see a little triumph in myself!
