I'm so proud of myself...

Miss_Kennedy · Post by **Miss_Kennedy** » Tue Sep 22, 2009 1:12 pm

A quick look at my bio will fill you in but lets just say that one year ago this month, I was in a psych ward. I was in crisis, agoraphobic, and having panic attacks all day long.

In that year, I've slowly increased my paxil to a theraputic dose of 40mg (like 2.5 mg every few weeks). I've also decreased my xanax usage to nothing (I had a great doctor that let me go at my own pace and it went really smoothly.) I worked the program the way that worked best for me, took the WRAP class, and did alot of innter work.

The pay off has been moving into my own place (out of the spare bedroom of a mental health advocate who was a close family friend), going back to work, and finally flying nine hours back to the city where I was in crisis to collect my dog, car, and loving boyfriend...all of which I left in Oklahoma city when I moved back to Alaska to be near family.

I was a bit anxious a few hours before the flight and had struggled with it here and there in the past few weeks. But I took the time to face it and talk myself down and by the time I got to the airport, I was fine. I flew with no problems, even during the turbulence. I was convinced that I'd freak out and demand that they land the plane mid flight. But none of that happened.

And now I'm back in OKC and part of me is a bit shaky. Its strange being outside of my comfort zone...but I keep hearing in my head lucinda saying..."this is a place where you can get help, and you're a place you can get help."

The worst part of Oklahoma so far is being bored, cramping from my monthly, and getting used to "being on vacation."

We still have a two week drive and ferry ride ahead of us. I can't wait.

SO I'm just letting everyone know that no matter how bad it is, it always gets better. I've been in crisis twice...and both times, I found a strength I forgot I had and pulled through. I know that everyones recovery is different but given enough time, the skills you learn in this program, the right lifestyle, a loving support network, and some deep compassion for yourself, that it gets not just better but it gets good.

love,
jeny

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:45 am

wow, what a great story. You SHOULD be proud of yourself. I finished the program 3 years ago and still need to pull it out from time to time.

congratulations and have a wonderful trip (and journey!).

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:47 pm

Wow, what an inspiration to the rest of us. I'm really proud of you girl. How old are you? Goodnes I'm almost 60 and wish I had it together like you. I'm now starting the program for the 3rd time. I had 2 yrs. off in between. Well God bless you in all that you say and all that you continue to do. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS.