maybe small, but i'm proud
Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 8:23 am
I posted this somewhere else a day or two ago, but thought it was more fitting here....
Anyway the reason for my post today, is the excitement I experienced just a few days. A joy I almost forgot existed. I have 3 children 11, 4, and 3. And though I do love them with all my heart. I am just living, so to say. So I have never really fully experience the joy of my children. To just be able to sit back and enjoy their precious, imaginations. Their joyous smiles. There loving hugs and kisses. Yesterday, like a beam of light, out of no where it just HIT me like a ton of bricks and I just sat and watched my 2 littles ones play and just enjoyed it. The joy I have from that almost brings tears to my eyes to type this. It was the most amazing experience I have felt, in a long long time if not ever!!
And another great step for me, for sometime now, I've just not been a morning person. I get up with the kids (11,4,3) and right away gotta get breakfast, get kids dressed etc... So I get up and right away start with the negativity... why isn't this done? was this really left for me to do? Why am I the only one? etc... So for the past week or two I've been working to adjust my schedule a little. I've been going to be earlier so I can get up earlier. I thought maybe if I can have a little time in the morning to myself before everyone is up and demanding of my services. (I read a few places it was a good idea so thought I'd give it a try) So yesterday morning, things didn't go as planned. My boyfriend got up with me. Kids started getting up earlier than usual etc.
But this time when I saw myself falling into my "regular" morning patters, I took a breath asked my oldest son to watch the little ones for just 5 minutes. Went upstairs sat in a chair read my book for a few minutes (don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff) when I felt I was feeling a bit better went back down and stayed "happy/positive"
Doing this also enabled my son to have a good day.... Many times (and boy to I feel guilty) have I found many issues with my son in the mornings and not held back in letting him know. Which sets the mood for his day.
** Another step in the right direction **
Anyway the reason for my post today, is the excitement I experienced just a few days. A joy I almost forgot existed. I have 3 children 11, 4, and 3. And though I do love them with all my heart. I am just living, so to say. So I have never really fully experience the joy of my children. To just be able to sit back and enjoy their precious, imaginations. Their joyous smiles. There loving hugs and kisses. Yesterday, like a beam of light, out of no where it just HIT me like a ton of bricks and I just sat and watched my 2 littles ones play and just enjoyed it. The joy I have from that almost brings tears to my eyes to type this. It was the most amazing experience I have felt, in a long long time if not ever!!
And another great step for me, for sometime now, I've just not been a morning person. I get up with the kids (11,4,3) and right away gotta get breakfast, get kids dressed etc... So I get up and right away start with the negativity... why isn't this done? was this really left for me to do? Why am I the only one? etc... So for the past week or two I've been working to adjust my schedule a little. I've been going to be earlier so I can get up earlier. I thought maybe if I can have a little time in the morning to myself before everyone is up and demanding of my services. (I read a few places it was a good idea so thought I'd give it a try) So yesterday morning, things didn't go as planned. My boyfriend got up with me. Kids started getting up earlier than usual etc.
But this time when I saw myself falling into my "regular" morning patters, I took a breath asked my oldest son to watch the little ones for just 5 minutes. Went upstairs sat in a chair read my book for a few minutes (don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff) when I felt I was feeling a bit better went back down and stayed "happy/positive"
Doing this also enabled my son to have a good day.... Many times (and boy to I feel guilty) have I found many issues with my son in the mornings and not held back in letting him know. Which sets the mood for his day.
** Another step in the right direction **