life is good - and it's a long post!

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 1:48 pm

Yep, Mano--those first scenes of seeing someone you love in a "scary" position can really give you the heebie jeebies!

I'm glad he is doing okay and that you are facing the reality that you will need to take care of them later...

I worry about my Father in Law, due to miscommunication, it was thought that dear old Dad was not getting the proper heat from his coal burning furnace. Since he lives a few hours away in freezing temps, we worry about him. I probably do more, since I can visualize him in his living quarters and I can't do anything about it.

But he has talked to DH and we are reassured that he is okay by his standards, not okay for us adult children that like to see things clean or orderly. It really test the "control" and "neatness" in us or as what we perceive should be as neat and orderly. :p We'll just have more work for us to do when he leaves this life. Some of my children are heading over there so they can make a report. I hope it is good.

I hope you are getting your rest!

Take Care...

Paislee

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 6:07 pm

music man - i'm sorry your dad has to wait so long to see a pain specialist. that's hard!

i understand the sense of impending doom feeling. it doesn't give one a warm and fuzzy feeling at all.

i struggled so long with taking no antidepressant. for me it was/is a necessity. i'm genetically programmed on both sides of my family for depression/anxiety. i didn't give up by taking antidepressants. for me it was one of the hardest things ever! the dreaded pill phobia and the "what if" thinking of what will those pills do to me? what did the medication do? lexapro has enhanced my quality of life to the nth degree. so has using the tools available with this program. but for me, i don't know that i could have used the program without medication.

unfortunately - that's one of my favorite words LOL - i've had people tell me i'm TOO strong to take medication - that IF i make up my mind to get better then i can. of course those words are always spoken by someone who has not experienced what i do so i don't take them to heart. i just smile and leave it alone. they're not on my path - good for them - i hope they never are!

i guess my very personal question to you is have you ever thought about taking medication? it's not a weakness. if you're thinking it's a weakness, i promise you it's not. all it does is enhance quality of life.

i guess i should be the spokesperson for antidepressants? LOL

karma

forever young 06 · Post by **forever young 06** » Wed Jan 12, 2011 11:05 am

karmaberry,
I will have to agree with you on the antidepressants. I for years suffered with panic and phobias was so afraid of medicine but knew alot about it maybe too much lol. As I grew worse was afraid of becoming house bound so long story short version. I went to a dr who gave me imipramine an old antidepressant It took a while but gradually I felt like my old self again and have taken it for over 20 yrs.

but would like to switch to one of the newer versions but don,t know which one is the best guess need to try either zolof or lexapro. what dosage do you take. I have a co worker taking lexapro then another taking zoloft. I have cut down alot on my imipramine and was trying to get off it but decided like you said sometimes you just need it especially if you are under stress which I am a lot

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Wed Jan 12, 2011 2:24 pm

hey sweetie! i'm so glad you wrote what you did - more than you know. i was feeling like such a pill pusher - really i was!!!

i take 20 ml of lexapro a day. it's been a wonderful medication for me. i've had no side effects at all. it has helped so much with the depression AND anxiety. anxiety is a by-product of depression - that's something i learned a long time ago. i never knew they went hand in glove.

i was - and still am - afraid i offended people with my pro-medication - words. i utilize the program to the nth degree but for me - and this is just me - i know i have a chemical imbalance that comes from both sides of my family.

i look at it this way - if i had a broken leg i'd splint it. i take medication for pre-diabetes. this depression i have is not unlike either.

karma

manofmusic · Post by **manofmusic** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 2:10 pm

The thought of taking something has been rolling over and over and over in my mind for at least 5 years. I would like to find something I can take only when I need it and something that isn't addictive.

I've been feeling good the past few days. I'm eating right, I'm drinking lots of water and I'm getting in some form of exercise every day.

I have a desk job, so by the end of the day, I'm mentally tired.....not good for the anxiety.

I have a dr appt in April to get my levels checked. I might make an appt sooner to discuss my options with him. I think that as the months and years roll on, the opportunities for anxiety and panic will rise. I need to do what I need to do to prepare myself for that. An excellent start is the eating, the water and the exercise. I may need to take that extra step. I don't consider it a weakness. I think I have a little bit of a fear of taking something. I've never taken anything like this before. However, I was really surprised to find that friends of mine that I had no idea they had anxiety and depression are on meds (Xanax, Wellbutrin etc). I know I won't be alone !

I'll talk to the dr real soon.

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Thu Jan 13, 2011 3:24 pm

man of MINE - i've been so hoping i hadn't made you angry or upset with me!!!! thank you so much for your post!

isn't it amazing when you find out someone you never had a clue has depression/anxiety? a friend at work came off that information a month or so ago - i was surprised - and gratified she shared it. but then i make no secret that i take medication. in fact, i kinda/sorta joke about it - if that makes any sense?

taking anything used to scare me simple(r)! i "what if'd" until i - well you already know. the thing is, the first medication i took - prozac - well i didn't feel a thing. then 6 weeks later i road-tripped with mama to florida - and drove. it was way weird to just not be scared to go or drive. and i felt - wait for it - normal LOL when that stopped working for me - and i was on it for years - i switched to lexapro. and you can bet your boots i researched it to the nth degree and then some. i consider myself very lucky that i can take it and haven't had any side effects.

i understand mentally tired. some days i'm beat like a small dog. that's one of the reasons i'm becoming totally addicted to my mini trampoline LOL it's been too cold and icy to be outside. just 30 or 40 minutes walking/marching/pretending my legs are pistons to my favorite music and i'm beyond happy! throw in eating better and i've lost weight and just feel better.

again, man of MINE - thank you for being SO nice to me!!!!!

karma

forever young 06 · Post by **forever young 06** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:43 am

karmaberry,
wow it amazes me how well you have done going to flordia is great. I guess I need to look into changing my medicine as I have been on it so long and maybe it isn't working as well and I can't tolerate a high does like I used to I am taking a very low does at this time. Yes I am depending on it think I can't make it with out it and probably can I have felt normal for years with it. what I am facing is I have developed phobias due to having panic attacks in situations or places. Now I fear going back to the places I had the attacks so in order to get over these you have to desenitise (sp( myself and I don't want to face those areas but I really need to. and like you would love to take a vacation anywhere.

manofmusic like you I thought as I got older these feelings would subside on there own they will not some times with changes in life they get worse so we need something to help when they don't get better.

manofmusic · Post by **manofmusic** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 1:47 pm

Karma - I could never be mad at you !!!!!!!!!!!

It's such a good feeling knowing that there are people out there that understand what I'm going thru and will probably go thru the rest of my life. Trials and tribulations only make me stronger. Making light about taking meds is something I can fully understand. I mean, why not talk about it. Panic and anxiety is a funny and scary condition. Why not talk about it. That's why I like these message boards. I can type away and everyone understands what I'm venting about. It's freeing. I can talk to people about it and they can say "oh I'm sorry you're going thru this...or worse, turn it into a joke, but it's so much better to tell people that really understand. I consider all of you my cheering section !

Today was a good day for me. I went into work and got to just do my work. No chaos, no nothing. Just peace. I'm getting some overtime in now too !

Forever Young - I agree completely !

karmaberry1 · Post by **karmaberry1** » Sat Jan 15, 2011 10:58 am

thank you man! i never want to push my opinions on anyone. i've have had that done to me so many times and i do NOT like it - at all!!!

i'm glad you're having a good day and getting overtime. people where i work just wander around asking if we're going to get more unpaid furlough days. i don't know - can't do anything about it - so i don't worry or think of it. it is what it is.

forever - avoidance isn't easy to overcome but it can be done. so much is going through the anxiety - not fighting it. i can do that sometimes.

one day i was so anxious going to work that i called my sister - who lives 4.5 hours away just to talk me down. she kept saying fight it fight it - and i said no i'm going to just let it come. wow - it came and went in a flash - the key word in the sentence being "went"!!! then another morning at the same place i felt it coming and started watching a woman at a car place opening the gates and moving cars out and about on the lot. the thought that went thru my head was "i bet she's not having anxiety" - and just that bit of distraction made it go away LOL at myself

do i face my fears enough? nope. do i plan to work on that? yep!

i'm going out to eat with a friend in a bit. it will be a nice treat. i worked a bit around the house today. i can tell i did some things - nobody else will be able to tell. i'm off work monday so i figure i can spread out everything i need to do. it still won't get done - i alreay know that LOL

i'm still in love with my mini trampoline! i have such a good time listening to music and moving. it's only mid-january and i am SO ready for warm weather!!!! note to self: i will not complain about the heat this summer LOL

hope everybody's weekend is practically perfect!!!!

karma

forever young 06 · Post by **forever young 06** » Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:41 am

karmaberry,
you know why do we act like each panic attack is the first one? what I mean is we know what they are we have had thousands if not hundreds in the last few yrs. I need to practice the accepting that is a biggie and not adding second fear. how far do yo live from work?I assumed you live in town and work in town. of course distance doesn't matter we can panic just walking to the mail box.Funny thing I usally have to go some distance before I go into panic mode lol got to get me a stradegy together and some amonition for the battle. Go back and reread the six steps to stopping a panci attack then unlearn the fear of them because with out fear of them they won't happen in the first place.

how was your eating out last night? hope you had a good night.