been through program twice.

karmatism · Post by **karmatism** » Mon Dec 06, 2010 6:12 am

Hi Bob,

I'm cracking up over here. I totally didn't mean to give you a speech. I guess I got a little excited

I'm having kind of a hard time getting focused for the last 2 days. I've been using this cool anxiety hypnosis at night, so I'm hoping to see some results from that. It really helps me fall asleep quickly. How have you been doing?

I know how you feel Paislee. I'm sure you will work your way through it. I have similiar issues with my husband. Part of me wonders if I just need to let some of it go or at least lower my expectations. Session 4 is helping with that. He wouldn't go to the doctor for the longest time. He said it was my problem because I never used to have a problem sleeping with him. I think he finally went for a sleep study to prove me wrong and shut me up. The best part is the lady doing the study told him the next morning that he was a mess and she was about to go in there and tell him to shutup because she couldn't study. I guess she studies while the patients sleep or something. Anyway, I was like, "Oh really???? You snore? How about that!" So now he's sleeping like a baby and I lay awake listening to a whistle instead of snoring. It's maddening. Now we are back to square one because appaerantly it's my problem again. I never realized how damaging snoring can be to a marriage. It affects everything.

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Mon Dec 06, 2010 8:21 am

Karmatism--You are sure right! Snoring is really a problem. There are times when I have snored, but I wake myself up usually. So the family makes sure to tell me that I do it too! I just tell them now you know what it is like for me. (I usually wake up if I start talking in my sleep.)

DH can sleep through most noises, I can't. I've always been sensitive to sounds. But I guess that is part of being a mother. While at college it was hard, since I would have roommates that would stay up late talking.

It got better as I got a better apartment building and roommates that were use to going to bed at a regular time.

My son was telling me about someone else on the machine and that it doesn't make any noise...probably because DS can sleep pretty much anywhere. :p

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Mon Dec 06, 2010 8:32 am

i am so sorry to hear about your son. it sounds as if your husband doesnt discuss things with you before doing them and is sarcastic to boot. that has to be very tough for you. i hope you show him that you deserve to be respected a

Hi Bob P--Thank you for your condolences about my son, I appreciate it. I really miss the guy, although he would be a tall young man now.

My DH exaggerates too. I wonder why that is? I've been so use to or conditioned to state the facts. That might be because of the type of work my parents did. They had to be very factual in their careers, not story tellers.

I hear it is a guy thing, but I know many guys that don't exaggerate. It might be a self-esteem issue or a just being nervous.

Thanks for the advice about going slow. I know that I need to allow myself time so that I don't get anxious, but still work on standing up for myself w/o feeling anxious.

Paislee

bob p · Post by **bob p** » Mon Dec 06, 2010 2:20 pm

anxiety hypnosis? you have to let me know what that is about. is love to try it. i actually do sleep like a log ( no snoring ) but i do grind my teeth. thats what my dentist says. i am doing good. i am trying to accept that i am going through anxiety and not think i really am crazy. its tough when ive been going through this for so long. its very easy to blame it on other things. i hate that. but i am going to stick with it again and do this program with all i have under the circumstances that i am in ( wife, four kids and two jobs. i can do it and it seem like you are a great help too k. i have to admit it that i havent had an actual panic attack in atleast a year. but i have been struggling with generalized anxiety. my goal is to be off of the 25mg of paxil. everyone always says who cares..... i do. are you on any meds? how are you doing?

bob p · Post by **bob p** » Thu Dec 09, 2010 5:48 pm

i just had a panic attack at my psychologists office and it was great. it was scary but i actually felt the feelings of the anxiety and fear and talked about it as i did my breathing. very exciting. when i usually have an episode, i am terrified to talk i just want to run. this is a great break through for me. i hope everyone else is doing good too.

karmatism · Post by **karmatism** » Fri Dec 10, 2010 1:20 am

Wow Bob that's awesome! Good for you! Doesn't it feel good when you actually remember what you're supposed to be doing in the moment? Keep working on your skills today!

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Fri Dec 10, 2010 5:51 am

That's great, Bob! Perfect timing!

And great practice!

I was informed by my DD and DH last night that they are going to be talking to a Mortgage gy about refinancing the house at the lower rates. I've been digging my heels in because I'm not ready for someone coming into my house and taking pictures for the appraisal.
I
I just barely got my Lucinda's CDs and a new Psychologist to work with, and the main thing that I have to work on w/DH is getting our Master bathroom remodeled. It stripped down and I've had to have DH go in with me to the DRs to discuss my concerns over this bathroom.

There has been a lot of heated argument over it, but more so on DH part because he is avoiding even getting the job started and as the Dr says, DH has a problem with "Conflict Avoidance" He never can have a discussion without becoming offended and storm off mad.

It takes everything in me to begin a discussion because I've been conditioned by his criticism and sarcasm to become stressed or depressed.

So now I'm told by DD that it would be a RUSH job to get my house looking good for the appraisal to push the loan through.

I'm thinking before this that for the money we would save would just go to the DR because I can only take so much stress during a time period and Christmas time is stressful. I

We will have to have this bathroom done for the appraisal or loan to go through, so that would be a rushed job and I would have all this decision making to happen. I can hardly decide what clothes to put on, let alone this extra stress during the holidays and cold winter months.

At least I was able to get out my frustrations or that I was in agreement to finally let a bathroom guy come into my bedroom and bathroom to make bid. This was after my Dr helped me w/ this process, now there is so much more pressure to have everything cleared up for the appraiser.

I definitely am doing better, but I just don't know how I'm going to do it! I am at least glad I had the discussion at least about the "shower" buy to come in. Help anyone? Paislee

bob p · Post by **bob p** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:53 am

sounds like you have your hands full. but it does sound like you have a good thing going. you are going to get your bathroom done which always adds value to your house and the interest rates are at an all time low, that should save you a ton of money. maybe just let your husband know you need a little time to get the house in order so it is not so stressful for you. alittle at a time and you can do it. k how are you doing with the program? i am doing pretty good. sometimes having a little trouble with just accepting myself. i am a good person just wish i had more confidence. i think i should just accept myself for who i am and be ok with being a little soft. hope you are doing good. i am starting session 3 today.

bob p · Post by **bob p** » Mon Dec 13, 2010 4:31 am

feeling abit stressed today. i hate when that happens, especially when there is really nothing that i can think about to get me this way. life is soawsome. i am going to focus on session two and hit the neg to pos hard. have a good day.

bob p · Post by **bob p** » Wed Dec 15, 2010 3:43 am

hey where did everyone go?