Stress Center Peer Support

ok I'm going to try not to write a book - in going threw this program and reading various books, I've learned that we need to let go of things.... So I decided to try to let go of all the anger, hurt, resentment I held for my father whom left when I was only 3 years old, never to return. So I wrote him this long letter (w/no intent to try to find him to give it him, it was more for myself)I went threw the different feelings I held through various stages of my life. I also forgave him and myself (myself for allowing his leaving to affect me the way it has)

anyway in my closing - I had a realization (or whatever you may call it)

All my life I wished for my father to be there, to love me the way a father should. I thought that is the peice that was missing from my heart, soul etc... but last night I realized that all this time I thought he was what could make me whole, if only I had the love of my father... but now I think that maybe it was not his love I was missing, it was not his love that I needed - It was my own... I never really truely loved myself... That is what was missing all those years... ME

so from this day forward, no matter how hard, no matter how down I am - I am going to learn to LOVE MYSELF!!!

You are right on the money about needing to love and care about yourself. I grew up having a father even though we lived under the same roof he was never really there for me or cared enough to be a part of my life, he always made excuses why he couldn't spend time with me and most always bailed on me when we had plans to do something together.

I held a grudge and blamed him for my problems for a long time and carried a huge ammount of anger around with me, I have since realized that the only way for me to get better is to forgive him and let go of that burdin, because I am sure there were things that he was dealing with that I never knew about, we all have issues we need to deal with or let go of, it is a very freeing feeling to not carry all of it around on your shoulders all of the time!

You are on the right path when you are able to realize these kinds of things.

Just remember, you are AWESOME

Thanks it's amazing to me how something so simple could go so unnoticed for so long. or that such a concept seemed so out of reach once upon a time.

I do have other grudges, that I will be working on letting go of. This though I think I held the longest & had affected me more than the rest.

as you said - who knows what they were dealing with at that time. It's not like they had the intent of hurting us...

thanks Your pretty AWESOME urself

here's to happy days!!