Wow!

Crave · Post by **Crave** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 4:42 am

So a few months ago, after going through this program for the second time, I had a major epiphany and I felt like I could finally see the light for the first time in my life. My wife and I, who were going through a bitter divorce at the time, went back to marriage counseling to try to work things out much more amicably. Things were definitely on a better path.

Then the "cloud" came back.

I could not figure out, for the life of me, what had happened or why I was regressing so badly. So I started listening to various cd's from the program again, and though I would gain some marginal benefit, I was still far from where I was months ago.

Then I saw a posting over on the Books forum about a book - "Been There, Done That? Do This!", which gets back to the real root of this - replacing your negative thoughts. For a while I didn't get how big of a deal it also was to write these down, as I had gotten to the point where I thought I could just do it all in my head. This doesn't work! But after using the author's TEA forms - wow! - what a difference. I have to say (that for me) the added structure that the author prescribes works much better for me than the approach that Lucinda recommends. The main thing that his version adds (and that was also suggested by a recent psychologist, but I dismissed it since it was a bit different than Lucinda's method) was to categorize the thoughts, according to the "type" of error that the negative thought represents. I've noticed that with this (seemingly small) addition, it really helps me to replace the thoughts with something much more positive and realistic. But again, most importantly, to get it all down on paper.

I truly believe that my mind had become so loaded with so much negativity that I couldn't even see straight any more. It's amazing what a cloud I was under. But after only two days of using the TEA forms, I can see clearly once again! I truly believe this is the root of all evil here. To Lucinda's credit, she does emphasize how important this is, but I guess it just wasn't enough emphasis for me.

To all out there who may have regressed - check your negativity!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:00 am

One other thing I wanted to mention...

For many years, I've struggled with my focus, and at one point had myself convinced that I had ADHD - also got a couple of doctors to agree with this.

But after having my epiphany months ago, and seeing the light, my focus was amazing, and the creativity was just flowing out of me. It was truly the best time of my life in years..

But then when the "cloud" came back, so did my inattention and lack of focus. Just days ago, I was scouring the internet for the latest and greatest "cure" for ADHD. It did occur to me that not too long ago, my focus was better than ever, and I was not taking any medication for it. But I dismissed that as a fluke, and continued my search..

Well, now my focus is back, and the creativity is flowing again. I am so much more productive at work than I have been the last couple of months.

Not sure if anyone else is struggling with this sort of thing, but I truly believe it was the cloud of negativity that was the road-block for me.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 6:11 am

Identifying the distorted thought patterns and errors can be very useful and for some instrumental in being able to replace a lot of the negative thoughts. I had already studied David Burns books on this and found that it was a really good adjunct to this program. If you liked Sam Obitz you would most probably like David Burn also. His books go into even more detail on categorizing the distortions. The combination of his theories and exercises and this program has been a winning deal for me, as this program teaches life skills that I didn't get from thought replacement alone.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 9:04 am

That's great to hear! I also bought the Sam Obitz book and took some notes, but haven't been writing down extensively like I could. I've gotten so much better hearing the negatvitity, but I usually get irritated by it. I'll break out the pen and paper again!

All the best to you!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 10:02 pm

What's the TEA form?

Pixie_tired · Post by **Pixie_tired** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 2:47 am

<span class="ev_code_BLUE">Hello Crave & THANKYOU for your post!!</span>
I can feel your joy in every word and I will be getting that book. I have a problem with the negative/ positive thought process and writing them down. I seem to know the big bad thoughts but the small, and I'm sure damaging ones that play in the background a lot of the time are so quick and more of a racing type that it's very hard to even catch up to them to write them down. Does that make any sense to anyone...I hope so!

Your doing so well and everyone really benefits from upbeat, inspiring info. It just may be what keeps a persons hopes and willpower on track.

THANKS AGAIN!!!!

<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">Enjoy all you have earned through hard work and determination.</span>

Deborah

Lichen · Post by **Lichen** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 4:21 am

I just wanted to add that what Crave brought up about writing down the thoughts is so very important here. Journaling these thoughts is crucial to being able to see how you are sabotaging yourself with negative influences. Anyone having trouble with identifying what the negative thoughts are and how to replace them would be helped by either one of the authors mentioned here.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:04 am

Hi Crave. You have such good replies here! I will offer an idea that I have found to be so revealing. If you want to actually see how much better you are getting, do this:
Buy or make a desk top size 21 day calendar. The date it begins with is the date you decide. At the end of the day, go through your journal(s) and count up all the negatives (negative thinking, negative feelings, negative behavior). Then add that number to your calendar. Keep doing all your homework. Keep doing this tally. At the end of 21 days you will absolutely see a much smaller number of negatives. That's measurable progress. And, it keeps you on your toes to remember to journal.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:58 am

Good luck.

I wrote them down for a week or two. I disagree though I don't think it is practical to write every single one down. I learned to put up a "mental stopsign" and this helped a lot.

I will admit that my achilles heel was forgetting to replace the negative thought with a positive one. I discovered this after reviewing session 3. Thanks Pecos! Even a year after completing the program it is hard to come up with good positive replacement thoughts. Like everyone else I have days where I "feel fat" and generally feel bad or unattractive.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 3:51 pm

Thanks for all the replies folks.

Again, I truly believe that getting the negatives down on paper, and replacing them, is key to all of this. This seems to be the only way to "clear them out" of your mind. Otherwise, they will just keep swimming around in there. At least that has been my recent experience (and also seems to be backed up by multiple relevant/respected authors).

Just wanted to say that I'm not trying to diminish in any way the importance of the entire program. I, like many others on here, have acquired countless life skills from the program. In fact, I think that learning these life lessons just makes it easier to do the negative thought replacement. Without them, you would likely struggle more with this exercise (as I did). As one poster mentioned, it just seems so counter-intuitive. I kept asking "Why do they want me to focus on and dig up all of these negative thoughts??. I thought I was supposed to be thinking positive??" I guess this is just the way the cognitive reconditioning/reprogramming part of the therapy works. To replace a habitual negative thought with something else, you obviously must identify the thing to be replaced. It does make some sense..

Good luck!

PS. In case you're still wondering what TEA forms are, please check the post over on the "Book Club" forum, regarding the book "Been There, Done That? Do This!".