kind of a triumph
I went to the doctor's this week and I have to go for blood work. I used to donate blood regularly, but stopped because of the attacks. I went to the lab this morning to give the blood for the tests. I got out of the truck and a HUGE wave of panic came over me. I thought I was going to black out. It didn't help that I had to fast for 12 hours first. I got back in the truck and tried to calm myself down. I really needed something to eat because the nausea got worse. I ended up leaving without getting the blood drawn. The clinic is open tomorrow, so I try again then. Hopefully tomorrow will be ok. I tried to calm myself down, but I drove there and hoped I'd be ok.
I DID IT !!! I DID IT !!!!! I went to the lab this morning (the only one open Sundays) and I went in ! There were about 10 people ahead of me. I put the relaxation session on my mp3 player and brought it with me just in case. I started to panic a bit, then this woman standing beside started talking and cracking jokes ! I started to forget about the blood work. My number was finally called and I went in and I started to panic a bit, but the lady was very friendly and she made it easier to draw the blood. By the time the last vile was drawn, I started to feel a bit light headed, (probably due to the panic), I talked myself down and everything ended up good ! THEN she said that there was one more thing ! My anxiety hit again. I said "what?" She smiled and said "Pee into this "....Well, due the anxiety, that was no problem ! LOL Now, I'm going to listen to the relaxation tape then continue on with the day. I started week 4 this week. Before this program, I think I'd still be in bed dreading this day.
Excellent work mang! ANY form of accomplishment is a good thing. I know how it is having immense feelings of panic. I get them everywhere. My house. In class. When driving. Will someone reverse into my like before? If i take a tad too long to turn, how will i react when other motorists honk and such? In the end, you just gotta flash that courage badge proudly. I've been lagging on this program a bit lately b/c of school, but I am now on Week 14, just about done with my first time through. I'll go thru this at least 3 more times to help cement these magnificent tools into my mind.