I am an alcoholic

Gain an understanding of the various types of medications so you can make informed decisions on your long-term care.
tjax2
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 11:40 am

Post by tjax2 » Fri Apr 21, 2006 5:45 am

I struggle with OCD, social phobia, depression, and anxiety. I learned a long time ago that alcohol would temporarily releave the symptoms. As a result I became an alcoholic. I have not been able to connect with AA because the confrontations and social activity raises the anxiety I feel from my other problems. I feel like I'm bettween a rock and a hard place. Can anyone relate? I'm in week 11 of the program right now and am doing some better. But I don't know if I'll ever be able to connect with AA. Has anyone been through this and succeeded?

~*schnauzermom*~
Posts: 183
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2005 9:24 pm

Post by ~*schnauzermom*~ » Fri Apr 21, 2006 6:45 am

tjax2,

I know it can be hard. I suffered from agoraphobia, I could not even leave my house I was so terrified.

I never used alcohol to calm myself, but my aunt does along with xanax. This is NOT a good ideam it really is dangerous.

I understand how frightful it is to take the first steps out of our comfort zone. But as I began to think about it, I did not want to be stuck like that forever. I wanted to go out, enjoy life, enjoy things I used to like hiking, going to festivals, art fairs, concerts and I was stuck! I needed to make a change, cause it was not going to happen any other way. I HAD to just push though all the horrible feelings and just do it no matter what. I started with a trip to my doc all alone, then my husband came with me to the store and let me go and explore alone. Then I went on small, short excursion alone to the gas station, get the morning paper at the store, pick up milk or bread. I built up from every experience even though it was uncomfortable and I was scared. I started to realize that the fear and physical symptoms were not going to do me in, it just felt like it. Even if I went to get the mail at the mailbox at first, WOW that WAS an accomplishment for me. I thought I forget how to drive, that was so untrue! My negative, irrational thoughts were SO VERY untrue! Everytime I went and did something, I felt stronger and stronger, build on that. You need a foundation to start on. Conquer small fears and move up. You will be able to connect with others. Most people are just as nervous and afraid of you as you are of them! Be yourself and people will like you, if they do not, realize that you too will not like everyone you meet either! That is just life. People have their eccentric sides, their goofey sides, we are all different, thank GOD for that cause there are many qualties to admire in people, everyone is very special in their own way...you included! :D You probably have so much to offer as a friend, family member, you are not giving yourself enough credit!

My father was an alcoholic. I remember a couple times he was "dry". OMG! Those were great times, I really had a father. He was a loving, caring husband to my mom. It was like a fairy tale dream! But, he suffered from anxiety (nervousness as he called it) and depression. I did not understand his "nervousness" and his reason to drink until his death. Since I experience "nervousness" too, I could relate. I wish I would have helped him, he really did not need to suffer as he did, there was help. I never drank to medicate, but could understand why one would. Drinking is not the answer as it is a temporary fix...lasts only as long as you are full of liqour. You deserve better than that! Why walk around in a fog? Start to love yourself, see yourself as a person that deserves to be loved, to be free of this. Right now, it may seem hopeless, but it is not. Alcohol is a depressant, thus causing further insult to injury. You want the help, I can tell by your post, that is the first step of healing from this. (I was in alateen, a group for kids with an alcoholic parent(s).)

Call, see if you can have a support person be in phone contact, email contact or instant messaging. They are understanding people and I really think they would be more than willing to help you via off meeting sites. There are also "Dry" websites out there to help recovering alcoholics...give that a try. A counselor or therapist may be able to help you on a one on one basis. Not sure what you insurance coverage is, but you can also call your country health dept as they have sliding scale fee based help, at times they will even come to you! Do not give up. You said you are getting better, so keep going. You can do this. We are here to help. LizB
Last edited by ~*schnauzermom*~ on Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Afterall, everybody only hears what he understands." by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~*schnauzermom*~
Posts: 183
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2005 9:24 pm

Post by ~*schnauzermom*~ » Fri Apr 21, 2006 7:02 am

I also came across this webiste just now and thought of you....

<A HREF="http://www.beliefnet.com/boards/discuss ... rdID=18412" TARGET=_blank>http://www.beliefnet.com/boards/discuss ... D=18412</A>

Hope this can help you in your road to healing. :)
"Afterall, everybody only hears what he understands." by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Noel_1
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2004 3:00 am

Post by Noel_1 » Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:49 am

tjax2,
Sometimes change or the thought of change makes us feel uncomfortable. We have created certain patterns that make us feel safe, but I have found that in order to be free from anxiety you have to face your fears and go through uncomfortable situations, and that is how you gain more and more confidence. Maybe just calling AA and talking to someone and verbalizing your fears would help. They might have some suggestions other than a group setting. Facing your alcoholism is a huge accomplishment because it isn't just the alcohol but the underlying issues that alcohol covers up. My husband smoked for many years and he tried to quit so many times. Nothing he did on his own worked. Then about two months ago he decided to go the smoking cessation classes that the American Cancer Society provides, and that has been very successful for him because they explained everything he was feeling and why. When he was on his own, he would have these feelings and didn't have the tools to help him. When he tried to quit on his own, he kept going back because he felt the cigarettes helped him cope but in reality they just kept making him feel bad about himself. So you might think alcohol is helping you cope, but maybe it is just making you feel bad about yourself. It is an addiction, and I believe we all need professional help to overcome these strong addtions. I hope you don't feel like I am judging you. I know it's so very hard, but I hope you will get the help you need to start feeling better. Take care,
Noel

Chaddy
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Feb 07, 2006 8:39 am

Post by Chaddy » Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:32 am

Hmmm.....sounds VERY familiar. I too have social & generalized anxiety, along with "major depressive disorder", and abuse alcohol to get by - I feel the same way about AA. Not currently using the program, got up to lesson 6 but lack the motivation to stick with it.

Good job on getting up to lesson 11! I wouldn't feel as though AA is the ONLY option for treating alcohol abuse. I've read a lot of people say AA seems too cult-like, and that they've been able to quit drinking on their own. You & I know that alcohol no longer makes us feel any better, it just numbs things for a little while. Remember the eariler parts of the program, where we're supposed to start tapering off bad habits gradually - have you tried that? Even if you can only cut back a little, it's still progress. This technique at least helped me stop having alcohol during the daytime, before about 6pm, which was a path I started down. Now I need to try to get that up to 9pm (I'm a so-called functional alcoholic, drinking heavily at night to avoid drinking on the job). I also know what you mean in regard to counseling not working, after a year of weekly therapy and various presciption drugs, I too turned to alcohol. Right now I'm thinking I still need to be trying out anti-depressants, as I have no motivation to restart the program - might be an option you should consider as well.

drg
Posts: 27
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2003 2:00 am

Post by drg » Sun Apr 30, 2006 5:32 pm

Dear tjax2, I've not been through a case similar to yours. I do not drink--except for the wine during church. But, reading your post hit another chord with me. Feeling like being between a rock and a hard place. I have a friendship like that. It's very difficult. Do you have anybody that you can talk to about your situation? I'm sure there's got to be a way to handle this besides AA. Or, it seems like there should be. Maybe a priest, a counselor, somebody who's been through your situation? I'm glad that you're making progress with the Program. That's a plus right there. I will pray for you. I hope that you will be able to find the help that you need. Take care.

StevenFarrisOhio
Posts: 148
Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:02 pm

Post by StevenFarrisOhio » Thu Oct 19, 2006 4:01 pm

I am telling this to scare you but alcohol slowly kills your organs and reaps havoc on your digestive system. Simple medications in combination with alcohol are so detrmimental. I am sure this is something that you already know. I know how you feel and how the alcohol temporarilly numbs your system.
Steven Farris

Incredimale
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2006 4:00 am

Post by Incredimale » Mon Oct 23, 2006 7:21 pm

Hi tjax2 I too many yrs ago Used alchol to self medicate I went to AA all that and didnt relate to alot of the jargain and storys! I think there's a difference between addiction and dependance and self medicating! I always looked at the anxiety disorder as the primary and alchol as secondary to it.. so when you treat the primary the secondary gets treated too..They have there own 12step program etc..BUt i just didnt get it i still think its a chicken and egg thing I mean not everytime did i pick up a drink and it led to 1000 drinks so I'm not sure id call myself and alcholic they have a saying 1 isnt enough and 1000 is to many or something well ive had 4 drinks and stopped before so? but if my social anxiety is bad sure ill have 20 then but only to get comftorable not because i liked it?? IM

oh and i havnt drank in 8yrs ! No AA

Stu
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2007 2:28 am

Post by Stu » Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:03 pm

I too am an alcoholic and actually tried a few AA meetings but did not like them. I decided to see what else is available and happened upon a book titled "7 Tools to Beat Addiction" by Dr. Stanton Peele. I just finished chapter 2 this evening and really like where Dr. Peele is going so far.

Normally I have about 6 shots, sometimes more, of vodka on the rocks each night and have done so for over 10 years. However, tonight I was so engrossed in the book that I forgot about having them and thought maybe this could be my first day of recovery. That prompted me to pour out what I had on hand to get rid of any temptation.

Well, that thought went south when I decided to see what withdrawals I might experience and discovered that someone that has drank this long may very well experience Delirium tremens (the DT's). That can potentially be fatal in a long-term heavy drinker so, as you might imagine, anxiety set in. I also live alone and wondered if this did happen would I be able to dial 911? More anxiety. When I do try to stop I'll have someone stay with me for a week or so just in case.

I'm sober tonight since it was too late to go to the store by the time I figured all this out.

My question is has anyone with a long drinking history experienced the DT's during withdrawal? I'd even like to know if you did not. If so what was it like? I am sure it is a different experience for different people.

Yes, I also have the the program program but have not gotten the motivation to start it just yet.

Regards.

rabiff
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 1:02 am

Post by rabiff » Mon Jun 25, 2007 7:47 pm

Originally posted by tjax2:
I struggle with OCD, social phobia, depression, and anxiety. I learned a long time ago that alcohol would temporarily releave the symptoms. As a result I became an alcoholic. I have not been able to connect with AA because the confrontations and social activity raises the anxiety I feel from my other problems. I feel like I'm bettween a rock and a hard place. Can anyone relate? I'm in week 11 of the program right now and am doing some better. But I don't know if I'll ever be able to connect with AA. Has anyone been through this and succeeded?

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