OR 20 Ways To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For weed/xanax/klonopin/'..
7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
It' s Called ... THERAPY
20 WAYS TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF SANITY
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Guest
And I know that i'll be asking people all day if they would like fries with that, because I just did and it's only 10:21am here in chicago.-
Guest
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Guest
LOL. Too funny.
I just got something similar to this in an e-mail, but it's 19 things to do in a public restroom. I'll paste it here for everyone.
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1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot My glass eye"
6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop an orange into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa Easy boy"
11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy Don't fall asleep on me
14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your butt cheeks
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to
the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."
I just got something similar to this in an e-mail, but it's 19 things to do in a public restroom. I'll paste it here for everyone.
-------
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot My glass eye"
6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop an orange into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa Easy boy"
11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy Don't fall asleep on me
14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your butt cheeks
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to
the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."
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Every thought is a seed.
If you plant crab apples,
don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious...
--Bill Meyer
What am I planting in my life today? What kinds of thoughts am I allowing to run loose in my mind, taking up valuable space and time and effort? And if I'm allowing negative thoughts to be the predominant thoughts of today, just what kind of reality am I creating for myself?
Gardeners know that if they plant seeds for dandelions, they aren't going to grow roses. But they also know that if they plant seeds for rose bushes, they have to maintain a healthy environment for the bushes to grow in. They have to maintain a constant vigil, getting rid of weeds that steal the water and adding nutrients to the soil that will help the desired bushes to grow...
Our thoughts are very similar. First, we have to plant the seeds for a positive life by focusing on positive elements of life, on positive possibility and potential. Then we need to maintain a positive, healthy environment for those thoughts to grow and develop, getting rid of the "weeds" of negative thoughts and ideas as soon as they present themselves. It's not always easy, but it also isn't as difficult as some make it seem--it takes effort and time, but it's always possible...
Your harvest will come from time to time as you see the benefits of your positive approach to your own thoughts, or the negative results of the negative thoughts in your mind.
What will you harvest? What did you plant?
A person's mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.
Just as gardeners cultivate their plots, keeping them free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which they require, so may a person tend the garden of his or her mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful, and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a person sooner or later discovers that he or she is the master-gardener of his or her soul, the director of his or her life...
--James Allen
- Living Life Fully -
Posted by: LINELLA BRECKENRIDGE
Every thought is a seed.
If you plant crab apples,
don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious...
--Bill Meyer
What am I planting in my life today? What kinds of thoughts am I allowing to run loose in my mind, taking up valuable space and time and effort? And if I'm allowing negative thoughts to be the predominant thoughts of today, just what kind of reality am I creating for myself?
Gardeners know that if they plant seeds for dandelions, they aren't going to grow roses. But they also know that if they plant seeds for rose bushes, they have to maintain a healthy environment for the bushes to grow in. They have to maintain a constant vigil, getting rid of weeds that steal the water and adding nutrients to the soil that will help the desired bushes to grow...
Our thoughts are very similar. First, we have to plant the seeds for a positive life by focusing on positive elements of life, on positive possibility and potential. Then we need to maintain a positive, healthy environment for those thoughts to grow and develop, getting rid of the "weeds" of negative thoughts and ideas as soon as they present themselves. It's not always easy, but it also isn't as difficult as some make it seem--it takes effort and time, but it's always possible...
Your harvest will come from time to time as you see the benefits of your positive approach to your own thoughts, or the negative results of the negative thoughts in your mind.
What will you harvest? What did you plant?
A person's mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.
Just as gardeners cultivate their plots, keeping them free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which they require, so may a person tend the garden of his or her mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful, and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a person sooner or later discovers that he or she is the master-gardener of his or her soul, the director of his or her life...
--James Allen
- Living Life Fully -
Posted by: LINELLA BRECKENRIDGE
Wow...i'm skipping down the hall tomorrow....it's the only logical thing to do!!Thanks for that Believer, i was having a bad night and needed a laugh!!
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves...
who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be? --Unknown
*****************************************
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/loveyouguysWave.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/ValHeartsSmiHug.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/SigTags/LynneCocoaMo-1-1.jpg[/IMG]
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves...
who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be? --Unknown
*****************************************
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/loveyouguysWave.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/ValHeartsSmiHug.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/SigTags/LynneCocoaMo-1-1.jpg[/IMG]
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Guest