taking suggestions
Okay, Jill, you opened the door on this one...
Six blonds enter a bar, cheering and shouting "Three weeks, three weeks, three weeks!" The blonds go to the bartender and order a round for the entire bar. The bartender, curious about their celebration, asks what the fuss is all about. One of the blonds responds "Well, we blonds take so much abuse being labeled as stupid. So my friends and I decided to prove the world wrong. We bought a jigsaw puzzle and together we finished it in only three weeks when the box said it was for 2-4 years!"
Six blonds enter a bar, cheering and shouting "Three weeks, three weeks, three weeks!" The blonds go to the bartender and order a round for the entire bar. The bartender, curious about their celebration, asks what the fuss is all about. One of the blonds responds "Well, we blonds take so much abuse being labeled as stupid. So my friends and I decided to prove the world wrong. We bought a jigsaw puzzle and together we finished it in only three weeks when the box said it was for 2-4 years!"
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here...for the rest of my life. And thanks for choosing to visit my computer room. 
OK, this next one my grandma told me (she's still pretty sharp at 92):
A city business man is driving through a rural part of the country and comes to a four-way stop. The area is wide open and he can see for miles. Seeing no one, he slows down, rolls through the stop sign, and continues on his way. Out of nowhere a sheriff comes up behind him, lights flashing, and pulls the businessman over.
The sheriff approaches the business man and says "You just ran a stop sign. License and registration, please." The businessman replies "Oh come on! I nearly came to a stop, no other drivers were within miles. What's the problem?" The sheriff only responds "License and registration, please."
The businessman, being a Harvard graduate, thinks he can outwit the rural sheriff and says "Look, I don't see why I needed to come to a complete stop. I slowed way down, made sure it was safe, and then kept going. If you can give me one good reason why I should be ticketed for this, I'll stop complaining, take the ticket, and pay it in full. But if you can't, we go our separate ways and forget this happened." The sheriff thinks about this for a moment and then agrees.
The sheriff then asks the businessman to step out of his car. The businessman obliges, upon which the sheriff pulls out his baton and then starts to beat the business man senseless. The sheriff then pauses for a moment and asks "So, would you like me to come to a complete stop or just slow down?"
OK, this next one my grandma told me (she's still pretty sharp at 92):
A city business man is driving through a rural part of the country and comes to a four-way stop. The area is wide open and he can see for miles. Seeing no one, he slows down, rolls through the stop sign, and continues on his way. Out of nowhere a sheriff comes up behind him, lights flashing, and pulls the businessman over.
The sheriff approaches the business man and says "You just ran a stop sign. License and registration, please." The businessman replies "Oh come on! I nearly came to a stop, no other drivers were within miles. What's the problem?" The sheriff only responds "License and registration, please."
The businessman, being a Harvard graduate, thinks he can outwit the rural sheriff and says "Look, I don't see why I needed to come to a complete stop. I slowed way down, made sure it was safe, and then kept going. If you can give me one good reason why I should be ticketed for this, I'll stop complaining, take the ticket, and pay it in full. But if you can't, we go our separate ways and forget this happened." The sheriff thinks about this for a moment and then agrees.
The sheriff then asks the businessman to step out of his car. The businessman obliges, upon which the sheriff pulls out his baton and then starts to beat the business man senseless. The sheriff then pauses for a moment and asks "So, would you like me to come to a complete stop or just slow down?"
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
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purpmartin
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:49 pm
Here's one I remember from ages ago:
A man is out in the country on vacation, and decides he wants to go fishing. He asks a local boy, "How's the fishing around here?" the boy says, "The fishin's great, mister." "Oh, good!" the man says. "What do you catch?" The boy looks at the man and says, "You said fishin', not ketchin'!"
purpmartin
A man is out in the country on vacation, and decides he wants to go fishing. He asks a local boy, "How's the fishing around here?" the boy says, "The fishin's great, mister." "Oh, good!" the man says. "What do you catch?" The boy looks at the man and says, "You said fishin', not ketchin'!"
purpmartin
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purpmartin
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:49 pm