Stress Center Peer Support

Depression is a very serious illness. It is not a joke and not to be taken lightly. I know - I have been there way too often for way too long. No disrespect or hurt is intended by these jokes. Hopefully a little free humour therapy will provide you with a reason to smile or laugh, which always helps. Enjoy!? Feel free to add some more - the sadder, the better!!

You Must Be REAAAALLY Depressed If....

You always have your funeral planned in advance.

You cross the busy road to get to "the other side".

You know the only thing worse than being dead, is being alive and depressed.

You are over-qualified for clinical trials.

Your psychiatrist/psychologist demands immediate payment.

You never have to make your bed, since you're always in it.

Most of the time you don't have much fun. The rest of the time you don't have any fun at all.

You don't worry at all about global warming.

You never have to show your teeth!

Freedom 55 means something completely different to you.

You never need to use Visine True Tears.

You cry as soon as someone says 'Hi'.

Final notices from bill collectors dont bother you.

The only thing in your life worth something is your insurance policy, but only after 2 years.

You have a note near the front door: In case of fire - 1 dog, 1 cat, 1 reaaaally depressed person.

mark:
Thanks for sharing ! These are great !
Lynda

Those were good! I can relate to the one about the funeral.....not only do I have all the plans made so all the kids have to do is buy flowers if they want but I wonder if I should send out invitations to all my friends and cousins so they know I will be at Lutton's Funeral Home. Is that depressing or what??? Sometimes we gotta laugh or we'll cry. I'm a lot better since I got on mini chat. LOVE IT!

I like the one about " You never have to show your teeth ".
I never smile.
Hey, why should I even go to the dentist on Thursday .
Lynda

Hi Lynda and Lucy, Thanks for replying and your support, as always. Do you have any sad depression jokes you would care to share? Lynda, how did it go at the dentist? Did u find a reason to smile now? I hope so. Did u even laugh, or did u need to get some laughing gas first? Lucy, I think it is good to be prepared for ur funeral, esp in the latter stages in life, and it is only depressing if we think or obsess about it too much. We still have lots of living and laughing to do!! Sometimes it is very easy to cry about things and very heard to laugh. I'm glad to hear u r feeling better with chatting, and posting on forums helps too.
I have a few more jokes, if u can call them that. I think they r just sad, but thats kinda the point. Enjoy! You Must Be REAAAALLY Depressed If ...
Feeling sad is an improvement.
You overanalyze your life and friend/relationships (that you used to have) and find nothing good about them.
It really doesnt make any difference to you if it is sunny and warm or cold and snowing outside.
You feel better by giving up.

mark:
I sure wish I had some jokes to share, I cannot think of anything to add right now.
Re: dentist. I bailed and I canceled my appointment. How ridiculous. I WISH I had some laughing
gas right now . I honestly cannot remember the last time I even SMILED about anything.
Lynda

Hey mark. Those are pretty good. Thanks for the laugh.

Yes those are funny . And can relate to some . Thanks for making me smile!

You're must be reaaaally depressed if

You think a box of chocolates a day is therapy
Tossing and turning in bed is your exercise for the day
staring at the ceiling is more interesting than television (actually true sometimes)
the running water from the faucet makes you want to go over the Falls (Niagra)
your jealous of the squirrell in the front yard (he seems happy)
you pack your suitcase but aren't going anywhere
a splinter in your finger gives you something to do
you find the ticking of the clock amusing
you look at your closet and wonder if you could live there
the fuzz balls under your bed become your new friends

Thank you Lynda, Lexi, Scooby and Lucy for your replies.
Lynda, I know what it feels like to not smile for a long time, or even want to. I hope some of these jokes, as sad as they are, made you smile, just a little bit, even if just on the inside.
Lexi, I'm glad I could make u laugh. Knowing a bit about u in chat, I'm sure u can come up with some jokes.
Scooby, making ppl smile, even just a bit, was the point in doing this post. I'm glad u can relate and smile.
Lucy, Thx for the jokes. Not only did they make me smile, I actually laughed at a few of them. If eating chocolates was like therapy, I would have been cured a lonnng time ago! lol Damn those happy squirrels! I hope u will use ur humour that I know from chat to keep the jokes coming.