Personal Ads for people with Anxiety/Panic/Depression

Somtimes it helps just to laugh.
Rose50
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2008 11:28 pm

Post by Rose50 » Fri Jul 02, 2010 12:51 pm

This was great. will come up with something of my own when I don't feel inferior to you all because I can't think of anything right now. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Sorry to have taken up space.

ship2shore
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 4:25 pm

Post by ship2shore » Wed Jul 14, 2010 6:16 am

You made my day Carsoncappo! Your post is priceless!

MyDogMaddie
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2010 1:38 pm

Post by MyDogMaddie » Thu Aug 12, 2010 6:44 am

These are great. I've been having a rough day and I finally laughed right out loud!

Here is mine:

SWF seeking a Doctor. I don't want your money just your ability to diagnose my current illness. You don't have to worry about our relationship getting boring as I worry about a different disease each week and sometimes each day. I love to travel as long as it's by foot in my neighborhood. Flying is out of the question and a train may derail. I will go for car rides as long as I can drive in the slow lane. I cannot watch scary movies, the news, medical shows, cop shows or sad shows. I can only watch happy things and Jeopardy. Are you the man for me? What if you aren't? What if you just think you are? What if you aren't a good person? What if, What if....

*Crys*
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2005 9:33 am

Post by *Crys* » Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:53 am

This thread is AWESOME!!!! I can't stop laughing.

TylerD1015
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2010 6:23 pm

Post by TylerD1015 » Sat Dec 11, 2010 9:23 am

Wanted: Male or Female, Doesn't matter really. Panic attacks a must, I find them sexy in some weird way. And someone that is depressed so I can atleast feel good about myself on the bad days... Oh, and OCD a major plus, I LOVE a clean house 8)

Sunshaw
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Dec 20, 2010 11:39 am

Post by Sunshaw » Tue Dec 28, 2010 4:43 am

SWF: Looking for someone to pick up after themself, of course it will never be right.

pettygil
Posts: 22
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2011 5:38 pm

Re: Personal Ads for people with Anxiety/Panic/Depression

Post by pettygil » Sun Sep 04, 2011 7:28 pm

I'm single and there is a reason for this.

Wanted:

I'm looking for a man who doesn't mind I don't take a bath for about a few weeks, though I am working on using deodorant, if it doesn't kill me first. You must not mind smell. Just open a window, or something. You must not complain, that will make me feel much worse. Instead kindly tell me, babe..I think you must take a bath, your forgetting again. Don't you dare tell me I smell, that will make me angry. I will hit you with a plastic bag and tell you I don't stink. I know I smell, like I don't need to be reminded. (I have gotten better at this, taking baths)..I don't wear underwear because I'm too depressed to do laundry, so it just best.. I don't wear any. And do your own laundry and mine to, maybe I will start wearing clean clothes again.

You must not care if I ask you to smoke my smokes, or eat my food. I have to make sure my TV dinner is not poisoned, sorry you have to go first. I don't want to die, ok. I don't know if car fuel, or something else got on it. I can't take that kind of chance. You must try it first, then if you survive.. I will smoke, or eat it.

You must be willing to take some time off of work, so I will have you around when I take my pills, just in case I have an allergic reaction, you can get get me to the ER in time, before I die. I mean you wouldn't want to come home and find me dead would you?

Now I must admit.. I am using deodorant now, and it took a long time to get over this fear, but I just made myself do it..I have to say I smell a lot better..but sometimes I can go a few days without a bath. I am getting much better at this, but if for some reason I start to go a week without a bath, again, you will have to run the bath water and throw me in. You might have to drag me into the bath tub, but hey, that's kind of kinky.

You must not mind I check my tongue, and arms, and fingers, daily to make sure my veins look right and Could you check my tongue it looks a bit swollen, what do you think? Should I call 911? Hey look I'm broke in hives, see this man, should I call 911? You must be able to act like one of them doctor's. Otherwise I'm calling the ER and I am going to make sure I am not going to die, this time.


Also keep your private member washed and cleaned at all times. I'm not getting those kind of germs that will kill me off.

akidaskew
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Sep 10, 2011 9:57 pm

Re: Personal Ads for people with Anxiety/Panic/Depression

Post by akidaskew » Sat Sep 10, 2011 10:04 pm

Lol, I check my body constantly throughout the day for rashes of any kind and am constantly waiting to feel , see, or experience any and all sorts of symptoms. I take showers but can only use Dove soap, i stock up in case the store I go to runs out. Although i don't think it would be a problem if I didn't shower because I do not travel far from the safety of my home anyway. Got to have a cell on me at all times ready to dial a friend or 911 and it helps to be accompanied by someone i love and trust in almost all situations other than using the restroom. I'm a real catch girls! 32 male with an extreme fear of stds, terminal illness and bad anxiety disorder and panic to boot , any takers, lol.

Akidaskew- :roll:

Paisleegreen
Posts: 1778
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm

Re: Personal Ads for people with Anxiety/Panic/Depression

Post by Paisleegreen » Tue Sep 13, 2011 6:51 pm

These are quite funny, I haven't read all, but I will! :D Thanks for posting! Paislee :mrgreen:

LyndaLu
Posts: 794
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:43 pm

Re: Personal Ads for people with Anxiety/Panic/Depression

Post by LyndaLu » Sat Sep 24, 2011 4:41 pm

If anyone needs some humor in their life right now it is me !
These posts are so funny and have really made my day today.

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