Personal Ads for people with Anxiety/Panic/Depression

Dawn_Izza(_E=mc2_) · Post by **Dawn_Izza(_E=mc2_)** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 2:35 am

Wanted: Man who loves to worry and doesn't mind if his girlfriend thinks she is having a heart attack constantly, or that the steak she just ate is going to cause one, OR the fact that she has diarhea has to be because she has colon cancer. It would also be nice if the guy never wants to leave town or do anything that would require travelling on a plane or by car for more than 2 hours. Guys that like things planned in advance need not apply. I'm all about doing things when I wanna do them depending on the level of anxiety for the day! I love to go to movies, concerts, and comedy clubs as long as I have an end seat or know how long the activity is going to last, and also where the nearest hospital is located. I like big guys so that I feel safe walking down a dark alley with them. Short, scrawny guys need not apply since that adds to the anxiety of worrying about having to kick somebody's ass if they approach us in a dark alley...

(I do have a great guy though that has stood by me through all this CRAP! He's a big guy and I love him very much!!)

Teri61 · Post by **Teri61** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 3:27 am

This is hysterical!!

Here goes:

Wanted: Anxiety Sufferer with area of expertise in health obsessions. Must be trained at using the Blood pressure machine at the local CVS Pharmacy and agonizing over the results. Must be proficient at anticipatory anxiety working oneself up for weeks or months over doctor's appointments and non-existent health issues.
Worrying obsessively over everyone and everything is a plus. A constant knot in one's stomach and a lump in the throat preferred.

KÈÉÐÅ · Post by **KÈÉÐÅ** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 5:15 am

Tracey2,

This is tooooo Funny!! I am your soulmate trapped in a woman's body! I am as "perfect" as you are if not more, if you don't believe me, just ask me! lol

I am the most negative person you will ever meet and I promise we will never spend time on having fun! I always participate in things that I will fail , that way I can whine and cry about it when I do fail.

I also find humor in watching positive, healthy people enjoying their lives. Obviously they do not know the DOOM that lies ahead of them!

I overanylze everything and the only spontaneous thing I do is getting out of bed in the morning!
and If you want a Insomniac, You do not have to look any further ~ I could make a Vampire think that they sleep too much!

I also like to pace for hours in one area and call it " excersise"
and love to cry all day - everyday to loose "water weight."

Cool huh? Please reply to: Just_A_ Negative_Agoraphobic_Hyperventilating_A$$hole, Who put's the paper bag over her neighbors head_ @ Yahoo.com! LOL

cindylou · Post by **cindylou** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 6:17 am

Oh my gosh this is too funny!!!! What are we if we can't laugh at ourselves? LOVE the humor, the creativity, the intelligence - awesome!
Be back later to post. Worried about some paperwork and my creativity is lost somewhere.

IGDewers · Post by **IGDewers** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 4:11 pm

Whoooo-hooo, I am having a wonderful laugh right now!!

ok here goes but instead of wanted, i'm selling.

Are you finding yourself getting tired of the calm and quiet of everyday life. I can help you find that adrenaline anytime you want! I'll point out that weird twitch in your leg and send you searching for the reason on the internet until you are convinced that is a terminal illness. I'll show how to question every small decision you make, down to if you chose the right thing to eat. And when we are driving somewhere, I'll remind you that driving is very dangerous and that you are sitting way to close to the airbag which will suffocate you., when we get into an accident.

Please call if you're interested. I'll answer only if I recognize your number on caller ID.

Barb G. · Post by **Barb G.** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 4:34 pm

I definitely must be getting better. I didn't read the humor stuff much before or certainly didn't reply. Now, I think it's hilarious and I needed a good belly laugh before bed. Keep it up!

AnnetteW · Post by **AnnetteW** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 5:26 pm

Love it! :p I would be interested if only I didn't already have all of it. Oh, never thought about that airbag thing.....but thanks now I have a new level to look at. Just kidding I did get a laugh though. May God bless you.

AnnetteW · Post by **AnnetteW** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 5:42 pm

oh soooo cool I thought I was the only one that stop at all C.V.S.~ they know me as I walk in the door. The other day I purchased something out of guilt. Felt like I owed them something. It just so happen it was something for my I.B.S.

luckyme · Post by **luckyme** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 3:22 am

Hi,

Thought I'd toss another one in here:

Seeking woman to take long bike rides with. Preferably someone who fears heart attacks due to exertion and suffers from IBS. As we ride we can bet on who will keel over first and die. Looser has to ride back to town in sheer panic without pooping. I'll bring the toilet paper.

Contact me at die_to_ride@anxiety.com

Teri61 · Post by **Teri61** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 3:39 am

Annette,

You made me laugh. I was just at CVS this morning and I did the same thing. I bought something just to make it look good. I made sure that the stock boy was not the same one as yesterday so that I wouldn't be recognized. Pretty soon I'll have to go incognito!!!
But on the serious side, I got in of course all worked up and the first reading was sky high. I sat there and relaxed myself and it was perfect! I actually felt proud of myself.