In case you need proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how???)
On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought????...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
Funny Consumer Labels
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Sara's Mom
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StevenFarrisOhio
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Sara's Mom
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Polmolive dish detergent says: For external use only! I am so happy that I have finally read the directions... I was wondering why my dishes were not clean.
On Mitchum for Woman anti-perspirant & Deodorant it say's, "So Effective you can even Skip a day!" Thank god, I had no plans on showering tomorrow anyway! LOL
it also states - For External use only. Apply to under arms only..!
well that definately rains on my parade - I use the Gel and I put fruit in it and make Jello molds for snacks.. I was thinking If I had it internally, I would never perspire to begin with! I also rub the shower fresh scent on my neck and wrists just to smell good... but now I can only use it under my arms! Bummmer!
Lastly it says, ask your Doctor before using this product if you have kidney disease. Grrr, I had no idea Anti -perspirant came with so many rules!
Goldbond medicaded powder-- Do not apply to irritated skin. Duh, Isn't the whole point of buying MEDICATED POWDER to put on your Irritated skin???
Lastly, food lables.. Packages that say, Fully cooked! Then on the back side it says, Cook thoroughly .. If it is already fully cooked, you should be able to eat it cold!
On Mitchum for Woman anti-perspirant & Deodorant it say's, "So Effective you can even Skip a day!" Thank god, I had no plans on showering tomorrow anyway! LOL
it also states - For External use only. Apply to under arms only..!
well that definately rains on my parade - I use the Gel and I put fruit in it and make Jello molds for snacks.. I was thinking If I had it internally, I would never perspire to begin with! I also rub the shower fresh scent on my neck and wrists just to smell good... but now I can only use it under my arms! Bummmer!
Lastly it says, ask your Doctor before using this product if you have kidney disease. Grrr, I had no idea Anti -perspirant came with so many rules!
Goldbond medicaded powder-- Do not apply to irritated skin. Duh, Isn't the whole point of buying MEDICATED POWDER to put on your Irritated skin???
Lastly, food lables.. Packages that say, Fully cooked! Then on the back side it says, Cook thoroughly .. If it is already fully cooked, you should be able to eat it cold!
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BePositive-Amy
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WhenwillIlearn
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Sara's Mom
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Sara's Mom
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 11:57 pm
Toilet brush wins wacky bowl
Michigan anti-lawsuit group gives out "awards" for wackiest warning labels on products.
NEW YORK (CNN/Money 2005) - A toilet brush with a tag that says "Do not use for personal hygiene" has taken top prize for the wackiest consumer warning label of the year, according to an anti-lawsuit group.
The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, M-LAW, whose main mission is to reveal how lawsuits and anxiety over lawsuits have created a need for overly obvious warnings on products, sponsors The Wacky Warning Label Contest each year.
Other top finishers this year include:
-- A scooter with the warning "This product moves when used."
-- A digital thermometer with the advice "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."
-- An electric blender used for chopping and dicing that reminds users to "Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating."
-- And a three-inch bag of air used for packaging that read "Do not use this product as a toy, pillow, or flotation device."
"Warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, M-LAW president. "Plaintiff's lawyers who file the lawsuits that prompt these warnings argue they are making us safer, but the warnings have become so long that few of us read them anymore-- even the ones we should read."
The group hopes the contest will remind us all to read the warnings on our products more carefully and motivate judges to stop what it says are frivolous lawsuits.
The winning labels were chosen by listeners of a popular morning radio show in Detroit, the group said.
------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer
Stock recommendations and comments presented on CNNMoney.com are solely those of the analysts and experts quoted. They do not represent the opinions of CNNMoney.com on whether to buy, sell or hold shares of a particular stock.
Investors should be cautious about any and all stock recommendations and should consider the source of any advice on stock selection. Various factors, including personal or corporate ownership, may influence or factor into an expert's stock analysis or opinion.
All investors are advised to conduct their own independent research into individual stocks before making a purchase decision. In addition, investors are advised that past stock performance is no guarantee of future price appreciation.
------------------------------------------------
Ed. note: Yes, we are aware of the irony of our own disclaimer on this story about wacky disclaimers.
Michigan anti-lawsuit group gives out "awards" for wackiest warning labels on products.
NEW YORK (CNN/Money 2005) - A toilet brush with a tag that says "Do not use for personal hygiene" has taken top prize for the wackiest consumer warning label of the year, according to an anti-lawsuit group.
The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, M-LAW, whose main mission is to reveal how lawsuits and anxiety over lawsuits have created a need for overly obvious warnings on products, sponsors The Wacky Warning Label Contest each year.
Other top finishers this year include:
-- A scooter with the warning "This product moves when used."
-- A digital thermometer with the advice "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."
-- An electric blender used for chopping and dicing that reminds users to "Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating."
-- And a three-inch bag of air used for packaging that read "Do not use this product as a toy, pillow, or flotation device."
"Warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, M-LAW president. "Plaintiff's lawyers who file the lawsuits that prompt these warnings argue they are making us safer, but the warnings have become so long that few of us read them anymore-- even the ones we should read."
The group hopes the contest will remind us all to read the warnings on our products more carefully and motivate judges to stop what it says are frivolous lawsuits.
The winning labels were chosen by listeners of a popular morning radio show in Detroit, the group said.
------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer
Stock recommendations and comments presented on CNNMoney.com are solely those of the analysts and experts quoted. They do not represent the opinions of CNNMoney.com on whether to buy, sell or hold shares of a particular stock.
Investors should be cautious about any and all stock recommendations and should consider the source of any advice on stock selection. Various factors, including personal or corporate ownership, may influence or factor into an expert's stock analysis or opinion.
All investors are advised to conduct their own independent research into individual stocks before making a purchase decision. In addition, investors are advised that past stock performance is no guarantee of future price appreciation.
------------------------------------------------
Ed. note: Yes, we are aware of the irony of our own disclaimer on this story about wacky disclaimers.
[COLOR:PINK]I've developed a new philosophy... I only dread one day at a time. [/COLOR]