No lie but this really happened

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 08, 2008 11:10 am

So... this one time...in band camp... just kidding, but really...
When I was about 12, I had a really bad crush on "the boy of my dreams". Myself, my best friend, her boyfriend and the "boy of my dreams" were out riding bikes. Well... my best friend and I had to go to the bathroom..SO, as girls do, we went together. After we were done, we went back out to ride bikes with the boys. All of a sudden everyone starts running behind me, calling my name and as I turn my head to see what wrong I spy about 7 feet of toilet paper stuck in the back of my pants streaming behind me!! I wanted to DIE of humiliation! :O

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 08, 2008 4:30 pm

ok, so Im the kind of person the follows directions exactly. This happened when a I was about 18. I was making a cake(probably one of the first times ever) but the directions said "mix by hand" well there I was, sleeves rolled up and mixing the chocalate batter by hand. My mom walks in and breaks the news to me about what "mix by hand" really means. Do you know to this day this story is still brought up at family get togethers. Lucky me.
Its nice to laugh. Thanks for all your storys.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 08, 2008 7:54 pm

Nicholene, that's hilarious.

My sister was making a recipe called "No Fail Brownies." Unfortunately, she used 1/2 cup of salt instead of 1/2 tsp. As you can imagine, the brownies failed. She still mentions this story when reminding us of her poor cooking skills.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:44 pm

I always remember this joke from Readers Digest...

A man was driving home from work very fast on a Friday night. All of the sudden the sirens and lights appeared behind him. The cop came up to the car and asked for his license and registration. As the man was reaching for his stuff he asked the officer "Was I driving too fast?" The officer looked at him and said "No, you weren't driving too fast, you were flying too low".

LOLOLOL

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 5:24 am

Here is something for Humor Jnet Evanovich is quite the writer. I have just started One for the Money. It is hillarious

Stepahanie looses her job asa buyer for a department store. Desperate to earn some money she goes to work for her sleazy cousin Vinnie's Bail Bonding Company. She has no experience. That dose not stop her. She is learning the harddway. Janet has at leat 15 books under her beslt. If you get a chance get the book and read it. You will find it very funny.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 12:48 am

I went on vacation with my brother (and his family) and another family. During the ride we stopped at a McDonald's for lunch and a bathroom break. This McDonald's pretty much just set your order on a tray and set it on the counter for you to grab. I got up to use the bathroom and the 5 year old that was with us comes by me with two handfuls of french fries. He says to me "I got these for free!" He was so excited. When I got out of the bathroom my niece said that he told her, "You need to hurry. People were just grabbing them and they might all be gone now." He had taken two bags of fries from someone else's lunch order, thinking they were giving out free fries.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 15, 2008 3:40 am

The other day my dentist numbed my mouth before replacing an old filling. She said it would be numb for three hours. Afterwards, I was very hungry so I ate a piece of chicken even though I could not taste it on one side of my mouth. As I was chewing, I found a piece that was very tough to chew. I suddenly realized that I was trying to chew off the inside of my lip and it was bleeding. It did't hurt after the numbness wore off but I still have the teeth marks after two days.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:17 pm

I went for a massage the other day for pain in my chest and ribcage. The massage therapist asked me if I knew about the "4 F's" that could mean gall bladder problems. She's massaging my ribs and ticking off "Forties, Fair, Flatulence...." and she couldn't remember the 4th F. So she just continues massaging in silence and moves up around my breast area. And she says "Oh, Female". I laughed out loud and told her it sounded like she just realized she was massaging a female. But that the the 4th F.

We both got a chuckle out of that.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:37 am

We were traveling once and got up early to get back on the road. We went for breakfast at Dennys at about 5 am. It was a big Dennys. I got up to go to the bathroom and there was a man in front of me. I was so groggy still and followed him around the Dennys going to the side where the restrooms were. I followed him right into the mens room! It took me a few to figure it out; I was a bit dazed then realized I was standing near some urinals. THe man said " I have a feeling you would follow me anywhere!" I was so embarrased.