The Mental Health Hotline

Paige... · Post by **Paige...** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 1:35 am

Thank you for calling the Mental Health Hotline. To help us serve you better please choose one of the following.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 & 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state you name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are far too busy to talk to you.

KimEMT/seeing clearly · Post by **KimEMT/seeing clearly** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 1:49 am

Thank you, I needed a good laugh. That is so true I think anywhere you call. Thanks for sharing. Kim

... · Post by **...** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 5:32 am

I asked someone to press 2 for me and they said no so I started pressing 1 repeatedly and fidgeted with the hash key waiting, but when nobody answered I hung up figuring they're too busy to talk to me.

BePositive-Amy · Post by **BePositive-Amy** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 5:39 am

HA HA HA mumsie good joke!

oliviaharis · Post by **oliviaharis** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 5:03 pm

The golden rule comes in handy too - “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” Nobody wants to be mislabeled….everybody wants to be counted worthy of respect and understood, appreciated for who they truly are! May be that “grumpy” neighbor just lost his job and has no idea what to do.
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oliviaharis
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