Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:27 am
For the last few weeks I have been having a difficult time with anxiety/panic attacks. Began to notice feeling a little down from beating myself up constantly over the panic/anxiety.
I have been working the program, practicing the breathing, reading my Bible (which is full of inspiration), and just deciding to accept myself for how I am. If I anxious/down, so what, it will pass. Its just anxiety.
Today is the first day, in a very long time, where I really feel good about myself and my anxiety. I went to Target to purchase a vacuum and even got it on sale. The parking lot were full with everyone shopping.
As I am pushing my carriage I gota little crick in the back of my knee, must be becasue I;ve started exercising again, so I did something I haven't done since I was a kid. I stood on the back of the carriage and coasted for a couple of seconds.
Now I don't do spontaneous or playful. I am the serious type. Always afraid of what others may think. When I was a kid I would always get yelled at by my anxious mother what if a car pulled out, if I did something like that. I don't even let kids do this.
But for a few seconds, I didn't care that everyone was looking, I was silly. I felt like a little kid full of adventure. I haven'tfelt like that in what seems like a million years.
I did stop after a few seconds because the parking lot was busy and what if I hit someone's car if they were backing. But it was fun.
As I was driving home and even as I write this my anxious side is like what if this happened, what if that happened? How could you be so irresponsible? Do you have so kind death wish?
You know what I said back to my anxiety "Shut the hell up. It's time I started living. It's ok to be silly. It's ok to be spontaneous and childlike".
So I hope we can all find our silly carefree selves and not care who's watching. Wishing you all a nice evening. Take care and God Bless.
I have been working the program, practicing the breathing, reading my Bible (which is full of inspiration), and just deciding to accept myself for how I am. If I anxious/down, so what, it will pass. Its just anxiety.
Today is the first day, in a very long time, where I really feel good about myself and my anxiety. I went to Target to purchase a vacuum and even got it on sale. The parking lot were full with everyone shopping.
As I am pushing my carriage I gota little crick in the back of my knee, must be becasue I;ve started exercising again, so I did something I haven't done since I was a kid. I stood on the back of the carriage and coasted for a couple of seconds.
Now I don't do spontaneous or playful. I am the serious type. Always afraid of what others may think. When I was a kid I would always get yelled at by my anxious mother what if a car pulled out, if I did something like that. I don't even let kids do this.
But for a few seconds, I didn't care that everyone was looking, I was silly. I felt like a little kid full of adventure. I haven'tfelt like that in what seems like a million years.
I did stop after a few seconds because the parking lot was busy and what if I hit someone's car if they were backing. But it was fun.
As I was driving home and even as I write this my anxious side is like what if this happened, what if that happened? How could you be so irresponsible? Do you have so kind death wish?
You know what I said back to my anxiety "Shut the hell up. It's time I started living. It's ok to be silly. It's ok to be spontaneous and childlike".
So I hope we can all find our silly carefree selves and not care who's watching. Wishing you all a nice evening. Take care and God Bless.