A silly moment

bna · Post by **bna** » Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:27 am

For the last few weeks I have been having a difficult time with anxiety/panic attacks. Began to notice feeling a little down from beating myself up constantly over the panic/anxiety.

I have been working the program, practicing the breathing, reading my Bible (which is full of inspiration), and just deciding to accept myself for how I am. If I anxious/down, so what, it will pass. Its just anxiety.

Today is the first day, in a very long time, where I really feel good about myself and my anxiety. I went to Target to purchase a vacuum and even got it on sale. The parking lot were full with everyone shopping.

As I am pushing my carriage I gota little crick in the back of my knee, must be becasue I;ve started exercising again, so I did something I haven't done since I was a kid. I stood on the back of the carriage and coasted for a couple of seconds.

Now I don't do spontaneous or playful. I am the serious type. Always afraid of what others may think. When I was a kid I would always get yelled at by my anxious mother what if a car pulled out, if I did something like that. I don't even let kids do this.

But for a few seconds, I didn't care that everyone was looking, I was silly. I felt like a little kid full of adventure. I haven'tfelt like that in what seems like a million years.

I did stop after a few seconds because the parking lot was busy and what if I hit someone's car if they were backing. But it was fun.

As I was driving home and even as I write this my anxious side is like what if this happened, what if that happened? How could you be so irresponsible? Do you have so kind death wish?

You know what I said back to my anxiety "Shut the hell up. It's time I started living. It's ok to be silly. It's ok to be spontaneous and childlike".

So I hope we can all find our silly carefree selves and not care who's watching. Wishing you all a nice evening. Take care and God Bless.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:41 am

Thank you bna. That was a very inspiring moment. God bless the Anxious

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 1:03 pm

I love those moments!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:20 pm

Hi bna,

Thanks for sharing! I really needed that today!

Have a wonderful night!

~Bridgette~

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Bakedpears · Post by **Bakedpears** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 3:41 am

[/QUOTE]When I was a kid I would always get yelled at by my anxious mother what if a car pulled out, if I did something like that. I don't even let kids do this.

Thanks BNA, for sharing your fun, silly moment with us...reminded me to let go and have FUN...why not?!!! Also, your comment, copied above really resonated with me...I too grew up with such limitations and find myself doing that now with my own kids...obviously my parents nor I want our kids to get hurt...but sometimes the limits that we impose are more hurtful than the physical scrape that may result in them letting go and having fun...I know what I'm feeling in writing this but may not be expressing it clearly...so with that, I just want to say thank you for sharing your moment and helping me to realize that I too need to have and share these brighter moments in my life, and with my children!!
Wishing you many more silly moments!!
Best wishes!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:20 pm

LOL....YOU GO BNA....loved your post...its so wonderful to just let yourself go and say to yourself - who cares what everyone else thinks...i'm just having fun and i love it!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jan 10, 2009 11:43 am

I did a cartwheel in the park one day. I'm 44 years old and I didn't care who saw me. It felt good!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:42 pm

bna thats funny about the shopping cart : ) the moments where you just do funny things and don't know why are the best. they're such a surprise

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 6:44 pm

All of this sounds so familiar...When I used to have those severe panic attacks in the stores, I used to run to get my groceries. I had everything memorized I needed, before I went into the store...I would run and get those groceries, and just throw them into a cart, rush to the counter, and believe me by then; I was having full-blown panic attacks..I remember laying in bed at night, and actually laughing at my own self. I could just picture me (like a movie in fast motion) (robotic- like) rushing to get everything, so I could get out of there...
Also, I love being spontaneous, now...I will do some of the most silly things, and I love doing these things...One in particular sticks out in my mind...I am 46 and I went to McDonald's with my 25 year old friend...I actually climbed inside the slide, and played in the play area...I had a great time, and my friend took pictures of me...My inner child sure has displayed herself a lot, lately...I will plan on going 5 miles to town, and end up in another near-by state..Talking about spontaneous...That is me all the way...I love trying new things, and the program helped me find the real me...I love life, and I love living my life...Life is not a bed of roses, but, I do enjoy being in my own company, and trying new things...I sure enjoy the new me...Tee Hee!!!1