I have to admit that obsessing with certain thoughts creates anxiety. At times it can be overwhelming and it seems that the more you think about it the more agitated one can become! It is horrible. Controlling these thoughts is crucial because once one learns how to deflate it will not be nearly as significant. You make your thoughts... which create the anxiety.
At the end of session 10 Lucinda has very positive and soothing statements. It is comforting.
She is correct in that one uses obsessive and scary thoughts to distract what is really bothering us. THE BOTTOMLINE IS THAT REALITY IS BETTER!! By facing reality and accepting what really hurts will help heal and these awful obsessive thoughts will eventually go away!!
Right On! Obsessing...
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Guest
Reaction to thoughts is what keeps people constantly sensitized. They become so afraid of their own reaction to the thought that they will do everything they can to fight it, to try and stop it from coming. But, this is impossible. People cannot stop that first thought from coming. Just like they can't stop their heart beating or their hair from growing. Heck, they can't even make themselves have a panic attack.
But, they can stop adding to the thought. "Oh my God, I'm going crazy or losing my mind." This is the habit and this is what must be stopped. They should let the first thought flash. Leave it be, leave it unresolved and go on with whatever they were doing. This means to float through the first thought, don't analyze it, don't try and figure it out. STOP adding constant second fear to the thought. This is what frightens. This produces anxiety and feeds the body with an excessive outflow of adrenaline, keeping them sensitized, keeping their nerves ready to fire panic.
So what should one do?
He/She should let the first thought come. Practice floating, stop adding second fear. It's not easy at first, they're going to add second fear for a while and a LOT of it, because it's their habit. They'll even add second fear sometimes subconsciously, without noticing it. They should accept even that. They have a habit of adding fear to fear. Building their own crisis.
Once second fear is stopped and acceptance is put into practice. The body can heal it's sensitized state, just as it would heal a broken leg, but this takes time.
But, they can stop adding to the thought. "Oh my God, I'm going crazy or losing my mind." This is the habit and this is what must be stopped. They should let the first thought flash. Leave it be, leave it unresolved and go on with whatever they were doing. This means to float through the first thought, don't analyze it, don't try and figure it out. STOP adding constant second fear to the thought. This is what frightens. This produces anxiety and feeds the body with an excessive outflow of adrenaline, keeping them sensitized, keeping their nerves ready to fire panic.
So what should one do?
He/She should let the first thought come. Practice floating, stop adding second fear. It's not easy at first, they're going to add second fear for a while and a LOT of it, because it's their habit. They'll even add second fear sometimes subconsciously, without noticing it. They should accept even that. They have a habit of adding fear to fear. Building their own crisis.
Once second fear is stopped and acceptance is put into practice. The body can heal it's sensitized state, just as it would heal a broken leg, but this takes time.
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Guest
why is this so much harder to do when i am at home on my own, i think i have cracked this acceptance or at least the second fear and then bam i have it all over again, i have claire weekes book which is fantastic and also freedom from fear and brain lock! i have learn so much from them and being on here, i just feel so scared when i am on my own and i also find it really hard to not be reminded of the thoughts when i am in my house as that is when they started??
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Guest
Think it has to do with constant testing? You make it very difficult to stay calm when you're sending these messages to yourself. "I'm home alone. OMG. I'm going to get those feelings again." Accept all the feelings and thoughts. It's no special situation that makes it hard to do. It's all you, testing yourself. Don't test, just practice!
You've associated being home alone as something that causes your panic/anxiety. When, in fact, it's you that's squeezing the lemon. Of course you'll be reminded of the thoughts, it's all still so recent. Panic doesn't go away by ceasing to come. Panic goes away by taking the fear and bewilderment out of it.
Keep reading Dr. Weekes.
You've associated being home alone as something that causes your panic/anxiety. When, in fact, it's you that's squeezing the lemon. Of course you'll be reminded of the thoughts, it's all still so recent. Panic doesn't go away by ceasing to come. Panic goes away by taking the fear and bewilderment out of it.
Keep reading Dr. Weekes.
I totally understand this but how do i get to a place where i am no longer scared of the thoughts anymore, its like i know all the tools to use but the memory and habit bluff me everytime and i have been fairly good at stopping second fear but sometimes that first flash of fear just comes and catches me off guard and scares me all over again. How do i seperate i can see all my tools coming together and then i can do really well someimes and then all of a sudden panic will grip me and my tools go out the window, does this make sense, i feel like i have come so far and then i go backwards again i know i can do it but just need encouragement!
ATTITUDE -- The mind is like a parachute...it doesn't work unless it's open!!
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Guest
Mrsworry - With every thought you get you can say: "Oh, Good. Glad you're here." Then continue on with your day. Don't make an issue out of those scare thoughts. You are not agreeing with the thought. You are simply allowing it its passage. We get lots of thoughts a day but only react to some. If you reacted to none your thoughts would just come and go without any emotional attachment. It wouldn't matter.
You will still feel discomfort for awhile. But you'll begin to see that you are desensitizing to the fear.
"Bring it on. I've been waiting for you." Stop the resistance. Use your mirror to help you. When you no longer fight the thoughts, they will cease, or at least be less and less and eventually will have no emotional impact to them. It's not about eliminating the thoughts. It's about allowing them without emotion. With practice you won't even notice these thoughts, and you'll realize that you haven't had them in awhile, and when they do come they will be easy to dismiss. You will notice they no longer have the power they once had.
You will still feel discomfort for awhile. But you'll begin to see that you are desensitizing to the fear.
"Bring it on. I've been waiting for you." Stop the resistance. Use your mirror to help you. When you no longer fight the thoughts, they will cease, or at least be less and less and eventually will have no emotional impact to them. It's not about eliminating the thoughts. It's about allowing them without emotion. With practice you won't even notice these thoughts, and you'll realize that you haven't had them in awhile, and when they do come they will be easy to dismiss. You will notice they no longer have the power they once had.
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Guest
How can you get to that place? Well, you keep practicing, and don't start giving up on yourself if you fail. You undoubtedly will fail, a LOT. This takes practice. Don't expect it to just go away when you start practicing this method. Memory and habit alone will bring it back.
You can't sit around all day waiting on it to come. Life goes on. Let it catch you off guard, let the thoughts and feelings do what they want to you. Keep practicing facing and accepting without adding second fear. You're not cured when you start practicing this method. You're cured when thoughts/panic/anxiety no longer matter.
This takes practice and continued acceptance. Your tools will never leave you, especially when you see the method work. You won't lose what you learned. I sense some hesitation on your part. You're afraid of what your thoughts and feelings will do to you. You have to go toward them without withdrawing in panic. This is facing. Relax your body and let the panic flash through you. Let it do it's very worst.
See this for what it is, habit, born from fear and fatigue. Nothing more.
Good Luck!
You can't sit around all day waiting on it to come. Life goes on. Let it catch you off guard, let the thoughts and feelings do what they want to you. Keep practicing facing and accepting without adding second fear. You're not cured when you start practicing this method. You're cured when thoughts/panic/anxiety no longer matter.
This takes practice and continued acceptance. Your tools will never leave you, especially when you see the method work. You won't lose what you learned. I sense some hesitation on your part. You're afraid of what your thoughts and feelings will do to you. You have to go toward them without withdrawing in panic. This is facing. Relax your body and let the panic flash through you. Let it do it's very worst.
See this for what it is, habit, born from fear and fatigue. Nothing more.
Good Luck!