So scared of falling out of love - HELP pleaseee :(
I'm back suffering on this and now its much worst.... since September 10th i have been much more anxious around my hubby. Everytime he comes home around 9:30 or 10 i start getting this major headache and my heart starts pounding and i have trouble breathing. Its crazy cuz the whole day while he is at work i feel totatly normal. I do not know how to deal with this n e more. i keep trying to think positive but the negatives keep pushing it away. I am so confused and i feel like im going crazy...
wow i can totally relate to mikedsing28. wow. i thought i was getting crazy. my scary thought was i was gay too and it scared me so much. and i can totally relate to alexandraf even though im a boy. i was so scared that i was not in love with my girlfriend anymore. we were already planned that we will marry when the day comes. (she is also my bestfriend) and i was so scared that i would ruin the best thing in my life. i have anxiety too. i have fear of people. well not people but their judgements. that everytime i'm in a crowded place i panic. i know this is a little off topic but i'm really glad that i'm not alone and this is all about my anxiety.
Glad to have read some of these posts as I feel a bit more comforted now! I have always been a 'highly strung', although very strong person. However I have had a particularly stressful few years at work, and my boyfriend (whom I met at the same time I started my current career) has helped me through all of the tough times. Up until three weeks ago the thought of losing him would have been unbearable (it still is - even more so now) however all of a sudden I started to feel low when I was at his one day, and when I came home (we are in a long distance relationship) I started worrying obsessively - thinking 'what if I am going off him', and testing my feelings for him constantly. I then started worrying that even if I wasn't then all the worry and stress would manifest itself by me associating him with the bad feelings and then I would ruin everything! I have always had a tendency to over analyze and worry about things, but as mentioned before, have always been quite strong in controlling my fears and shrugging them off quickly. On the thought of this possibility occurring however I went into a blind panic and have been anxious and depressed since. I saw him this weekend and was so scared that I wouldn't feel anything that all I felt was sick and as if something (although I didn't know what) was wrong. I told him I was feeling a bit low and didn't know why but did not explain the full details as was scared that he would think I am going crazy as I have always been bubbly and happy when with him. Anyway, after two/three weeks of seriously believing I am schizophrenic/bipolar/personality disorder etc I finally burst into floods of tears whilst talking to my 84 year old granny on the phone! After telling all, she simply said with no surprise in her voice - "Oh, well that's a clear sign of depression and anxiety and that it will all clear up in time". Turns out that my dear grandmother has experienced the very same feelings numerous times in her long life and the relief of just knowing that has already made me feel better - I think that this is more common than people think and hope this gives people in my situation a bit of comfort too. All I keep focusing on at the moment is "Why would I be so frantic/bothered about falling out of love with my boyfriend if I really was?!" 
hi i have been suffering from the same thing, i found this page a few months back when i was very worried myself as to what i was feeling and when i seen other ppl were going through the same thing i must say i was quite relieved. i am currently going through another episode of feeling the same thing. can any one please give me some advise. i feel like i cant feel love towards my girlfriend sometimes but i no deep down im crazy about her and if i lost her id be empty inside but this overwhelming feeling of not feeling love scares me to bit. iv been going out with my girlfriend for 16 months now and i want to marry her some day but i get so anxious and nervous and heart pounding when these negivtive thoughts pop into my head its so hard to keep them out sometimes i dunno why it pops into my head but it just does but i love my girlfriend to bits dont want to be without her but can anyone offer some advise as to what i could do to help stop these thoughts or anxiaty.i am currently on antidepresants called lexapro 10mg would a higher dose be better for me or would the anti depresants have something to do with it. i would really really appreciate it if someone could give me some kind of advise maybe a councilor would help or something i had 6 sessions with a councilor and i felt good while going but i finnished a few weeks ago and now im starting to feel abit anxious again. its wierd one second i feel so inlove then its like a thought pops into my head saying but what if and i get all wierd then and feel wierd i try not to think about it and i feel grand but then it'll pop back in again later. its so hard cause i love her to bits and i only want her. sometimes im afraid of loosing her cause im not good enough for her but i no she absolutly adores me and wants to marry me some day and i want to marry her too and we've talked about it a few times its just hard to have something like a bad question pop into my head when i feel so strongly about this girl. sorry for rambling on here abit but its so great to be able to talk about this to someone and for other ppl to no what im going through. thanks for taking the time to read this and please respond back to this thanks very much.
niki♥:
all i have to say to you is follow your heart. if u love him then hold onto that im going through the same thing with ,my girlfriend i have scary thoughts too. but as for fighting alot myself and my firl went through that too the best thing in a relationship is communication and to compramise with each other. ye shouldnt keep secrets froem each other no matter how scary it is or how he'll react and vise versa cause truse is a huge thing and if thats lost its very hard to get back. the best thing is be honest and truthfull to your boyfriend and he'll be able to understand more and will be able to help and support you better. i hope this helped in some way. gary
all i have to say to you is follow your heart. if u love him then hold onto that im going through the same thing with ,my girlfriend i have scary thoughts too. but as for fighting alot myself and my firl went through that too the best thing in a relationship is communication and to compramise with each other. ye shouldnt keep secrets froem each other no matter how scary it is or how he'll react and vise versa cause truse is a huge thing and if thats lost its very hard to get back. the best thing is be honest and truthfull to your boyfriend and he'll be able to understand more and will be able to help and support you better. i hope this helped in some way. gary
Since my last post I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but not on any meds. I have had blood tests and awaiting results. Am going to try cognitive behaviour therapy because I do tend to think negatively about everything (hadn't really noticed this before!). Am wondering whether anybody else on here knows whether depression/anxiety can come on as a result of trauma which happened a year ago? I was bullied at work by my boss and had to go through a year long trial before she eventually got sacked. At the end of all of this my boyfriend and I went through a rocky patch but stuck together and just before all of these strange feelings came on I had just started to feel very happy and secure with my job/relationship, so I can't understand why all of a sudden this happened overnight?! I told my doc about the bullying etc but she said she doesn't think that is the cause because it happened over a year ago and I felt ok in the meantime. Any thoughts/experiences on this matter would be appreciated as it is so frustrating that I am having these recurrent doubts about my love! Thanks.
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Shellybelly
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Fri May 07, 2010 10:07 pm
Oh man... I'm going through a very similar situation... I had what I believe to be my first anxiety attack over a week ago. The feeling was SO horrible that every day since I've been having waves of anxiety and thoughts like "What if it happens again?" Well I've just finally realized that after the incident, my boyfriend pretty much disgusts me =/ We've been together nearly 3 years now and I'm always at his house with him. We're inseperable and I've always loved it that way! But now when he touches me or even says anything to me I just want to shut him out or tell him to hush because I can't bare to be around him during these episodes of anxiety. I don't even want to go out with him and our friends anymore, I just want to go home and be in my own house. Our relationship has always been stressful... He has a child with another girl (accident, they were good friends before we even met) and my parents don't even know about this. His home life isn't great as his mom "pops pills" and they're facing forclosure. There's more but I won't waste your time... As for my life, my parents are no longer happy in their 22 year marriage. I have lost many of my friends over the years from just growing apart and going seperate ways in life. I just feel my life falling apart finally and these thoughts scare me to death! Now that I think about it, I've always thought negatively about things. I used to panic as a child and thought of the worst possible (unrealistic) things that could happen. I absolutely hate medications and would prefer a more natural way of ridding myself of this awful anxiety... I try telling myself things like "it's ok, he loves you & you love him" and "anxiety attacks can't hurt you, it will pass" but when an attack strikes I feel so helpless I just shut the world out and literally curl up into a ball. The past week or so I've realized my appitite has deminished and I realize I'm hungry when I can hear my stomache growl... I just want to go back to loving him and loving my life. =/ Ugh.
Hi all,
First time poster - I just discovered this site and forums last night.
I really relate to everything you are discussing. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. Before that I was single for about 8 months, and before that I had a horrible, drawn out, exhausting breakup with a guy who I was with for 3 years, and who told me 'he still loved me', but had to break up with me. I'm still working through my issues with that, but with my new boyfriend by my side and a new job I have been ridiculously happy for over a year.
I guess I've had a tough few months - my nana who was very very dear to me passed away, and after only being at my job for a few months I had to handle my manager and my own job for a month when she went on holiday, which was scary and stressful because I didn't think I was good enough to do it all properly. During these times I thought I was handling everything ok.
Then one day about a month ago, I was at work and out of hte blue I thought to myself "what if I am emotionally using my boyfriend just like my ex did to me?'. Since then I've been battling an amazing amount of anxiety and worry. I've been getting chest pains, and my arms have been tingling, and at times I feel so worried that I'm going to throw up or something. My thoughts centre around if my feelings of love are enough for my boyfriend, if I'm good enough to actually have him, feelings of guilt for worrying about all of this in the first place, wondering where it all came from and just wanting everything to go back to the way it was.
I get myself so worked up that if I don't 'feel' a rush of emotion when I look at him I'm telling myself that I feel nothing.
This guy is so good for me, and good to me. He's sweet, and kind, and intelligent and for over a year we've loved eachothers company and continued to have a strong and healthy relationship. We're always there for eachother.
If I can focus on the moment I am happy and content, and I have even had a few days where I felt mostly back to normal. But when I realise that I'm no longer anxious, it's like I think 'well, why were you anxious in the first place?' and all the thoughts come flooding back.
Shy does it feel like a switch has been turned off, and all my happiness and calmness has disappeared?
I honestly feel like the normal me has stepped outside of me somehow, and some other thing has jumped in instead - like I'm acting normal on the outside but full of this anxiety and guilt on the inside. Then I feel guilty for making a big deal of it, and I tell myself to just stop being so silly.
I don't want to leave my boyfriend. I'm sure he is the one I'm meant to be with. But why am I so scared and anxious?
Sorry for the massive post.
First time poster - I just discovered this site and forums last night.
I really relate to everything you are discussing. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. Before that I was single for about 8 months, and before that I had a horrible, drawn out, exhausting breakup with a guy who I was with for 3 years, and who told me 'he still loved me', but had to break up with me. I'm still working through my issues with that, but with my new boyfriend by my side and a new job I have been ridiculously happy for over a year.
I guess I've had a tough few months - my nana who was very very dear to me passed away, and after only being at my job for a few months I had to handle my manager and my own job for a month when she went on holiday, which was scary and stressful because I didn't think I was good enough to do it all properly. During these times I thought I was handling everything ok.
Then one day about a month ago, I was at work and out of hte blue I thought to myself "what if I am emotionally using my boyfriend just like my ex did to me?'. Since then I've been battling an amazing amount of anxiety and worry. I've been getting chest pains, and my arms have been tingling, and at times I feel so worried that I'm going to throw up or something. My thoughts centre around if my feelings of love are enough for my boyfriend, if I'm good enough to actually have him, feelings of guilt for worrying about all of this in the first place, wondering where it all came from and just wanting everything to go back to the way it was.
I get myself so worked up that if I don't 'feel' a rush of emotion when I look at him I'm telling myself that I feel nothing.
This guy is so good for me, and good to me. He's sweet, and kind, and intelligent and for over a year we've loved eachothers company and continued to have a strong and healthy relationship. We're always there for eachother.
If I can focus on the moment I am happy and content, and I have even had a few days where I felt mostly back to normal. But when I realise that I'm no longer anxious, it's like I think 'well, why were you anxious in the first place?' and all the thoughts come flooding back.
Shy does it feel like a switch has been turned off, and all my happiness and calmness has disappeared?
I honestly feel like the normal me has stepped outside of me somehow, and some other thing has jumped in instead - like I'm acting normal on the outside but full of this anxiety and guilt on the inside. Then I feel guilty for making a big deal of it, and I tell myself to just stop being so silly.
I don't want to leave my boyfriend. I'm sure he is the one I'm meant to be with. But why am I so scared and anxious?
Sorry for the massive post.
OMG! i thought i had searched the whole of the internet to try and find someone else with this. i have this too!!!!! its crazy i cant believe that not only have i found one person with the same experience but theres so many others! 
i have this anxiety thing too! i actually have it so bad that i have had to sleep in bed with my mum (and im 18) 
because i wake in the night and have panic attacks and need someone to talk to. it seems when times are tough then i get this. its happened once before and we broke up over it but we got back as i was so upset. its now a year and a half on and its come back. its like some horrible monster of feelings i just want to be rid of. im so happy now that im not the only one. :p
i have this anxiety thing too! i actually have it so bad that i have had to sleep in bed with my mum (and im 18) because i wake in the night and have panic attacks and need someone to talk to. it seems when times are tough then i get this. its happened once before and we broke up over it but we got back as i was so upset. its now a year and a half on and its come back. its like some horrible monster of feelings i just want to be rid of. im so happy now that im not the only one. :pHey Shelly9. just looking at some of your previous posts - i hope your ok. i know your posts were 2 years ago but if you still need someone to talk to im here!!!
when ever i feel low with the symptoms everyone else has said about, i come on here and read the posts that other people have written. it comforts me to know that im not alone i have bad feelings that i want to break up with my boyfriend. once i did, and it was the worst ever...
anyways hope your ok and were here to help u if yu need it!
when ever i feel low with the symptoms everyone else has said about, i come on here and read the posts that other people have written. it comforts me to know that im not alone
i have bad feelings that i want to break up with my boyfriend. once i did, and it was the worst ever... anyways hope your ok and were here to help u if yu need it!