Hi everyone,
I am new to this forum and have found so much comfort in what everyone has to say. I want to describe what I am going through and would love to know if anyone else can relate or PLEASE give advise.
Two months ago everything was perfect to me. I live in Boston but came home because I got very sick. My mom took care of me like a child again and I missed my boyfriend (who is also my best friend) so much and couldn't wait to get back to him Sunday night.
Well that week I suffered my first TERRIBLE anxiety attack. It started as I lay awake in bed with my boyfriend with a pit in my stomach. Next day I was convulsing throwing up heart pounding ugh it was horrible for an entire week. This had never happened to me before and I was trying to figure everything out and pinned it on my boyfriend because he is always the one to make me feel better and for some reason I wanted him around but felt even more anxious going to see him! I think it was because I wanted so badly every time for him to make it back to normal.
That was two months ago and I went through a stage of depersonalization and now I have VERY scary thoughts of not loving my boyfriend. They are all consuming I wake thinking of it and my heart starts pounding. I feel like rather then living in the moment with him I'm looking from the inside out its crazy. I get nervous I won't miss him or that I will break his heart or just that I am out of love with him. ITS THE SCARIEST THING TO ME!! I do have a lot of other things going on like my dad has lung cancer and is going through treatment and my best friend suddenly told me that she is moving away when we were just signing a lease for an apartment and I am starting a new job in June, which is something that usually would really make me nervous. Also before this was happening I found out my boyfriend would be living away from mr for 8 months and I was very sad about that even though I knew I would see him often, I was still very upset about it. Now, none of these things even bother me it is like I don't care, I;m just so scared to lose feelings for my boyfriend because I know he is my soul mate and no one has ever made me happier then him.
I know I just wrote a lot but this is so frightening to me and I just want to feel like myself again and I don't want these thoughts and the scary feelings that maybe they are true to haunt me anymore. Any advice please!?!?
So scared of falling out of love - HELP pleaseee :(
Well, first of all it sounds like you have a lot of intense things going on in your life and it is understandable that you have been having anxiety. I actually have kind of been worrying about the same thing with my boyfriend lately, whom i love very much. my anxiety and sadness have been interfering with our reltionship, and i think its making me question my relationship with him. wow, i know exactly what you feel like. i think maybe we become so anxious and get in these states of mind because of everything going on in our lives that it affects our most personal relationship first. when we are already in a panicky state of mind, our brain automatically questions first the most important aspect of our lives. maybe you feel like you stopped caring about all of those things in your life because you were getting so anxious your brain seemed to 'shut off' to them, as a coping mechanism. perhaps a few sessions with a counselor to discuss your relationship and get someone elses perspective might help? also, have you tried any medication to take the edge off the anxiety?
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Anna Burrell
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:55 pm
Alexandraf
I am in the EXACT same position with my boyfriend. He and I started dating around the time I started having anxiety and panic attacks. I know I am supposed to be with him, but for one thing I am on zoloft which kills my sex drive and makes me feel emotionally unconnected with him. I tried switching medications many times for this but I respond the best to zoloft. He is great, not mean, and he really tries to help me with my anxiety. He is my rock, but I feel like im falling out of love with him. It SCARES ME TO DEATH. because I am ruing the best thing in my life.
I recently went on a trip for a week without him and I could not handle it. I was throwing up stomach ache the whole time. It killed me he wasnt there. Thank GOD someone knows how I feel I thought it was just me
I am in the EXACT same position with my boyfriend. He and I started dating around the time I started having anxiety and panic attacks. I know I am supposed to be with him, but for one thing I am on zoloft which kills my sex drive and makes me feel emotionally unconnected with him. I tried switching medications many times for this but I respond the best to zoloft. He is great, not mean, and he really tries to help me with my anxiety. He is my rock, but I feel like im falling out of love with him. It SCARES ME TO DEATH. because I am ruing the best thing in my life.
I recently went on a trip for a week without him and I could not handle it. I was throwing up stomach ache the whole time. It killed me he wasnt there. Thank GOD someone knows how I feel I thought it was just me
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alexandraf
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 12:10 pm
It is very relieving to hear other people experience this, only knowing that we are not alone. Yes I am currently on Xanax but still have these awful thoughts that get my panicky. I read that when you have anxiety your mind creates the scariest thoughts about the people we love the most and the thing we are scared of most. Which is our beloved partners and losing them! Before this terrible attack, I never had a doubt in my mind. I truly believed and saw what people meant by falling in love with your best friend and just "knowing" they are the one for you. Thats how i always felt!! I think our bodies are too afraid to deal with those other anxieties in our life, that it takes it out on the person closest to us, the one we know will always be there. I feel like I can barely live in the moment with him sometimes like I am watching it happen and anticipating how I will/should feel, rather then feeling it. It just keeps the cycle going and I dont know how to break it. The only time I feel better now is when I am talking to him on the phone nothing is crossing my mind (as I said he will be living away from me for now another 7 months). Its so hard to seperate these thoughts from the truth because sometimes they feel so real....
Sorry I know I am rambling on but this is all I think about and I don't feel like I can control it!
Sorry I know I am rambling on but this is all I think about and I don't feel like I can control it!
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Anna Burrell
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:55 pm
I don't think your rambling at all. Your right, maybe we should just appreciate everyday, and take it one day at a time. Its hard for us when all we think about is the future, and over think our relationships. For me the question is "Am I TRULY happy being in this relationship" and right now i really cannot answer that question
OH wow I seriously thought i was the only one feeling this way... I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years already and we have gone thru hell and back, what i mean about that is we gone thru so much problems and just break ups but we forgave each other. {For Example me yelling at his mom, his drug adiction,asumeing he's cheating,and trust problems}
3 years ago my boyfriend was addicted to drugs and it took me about a year and a half to figure it out, i had my suspisions but then didnt accept it. Since 2005 he has been drug free. The past 3 years has been amazing, i am so greatful to have him in my life. 6 years ago when we first met i already knew it was love at first sight and he was going to be my soul mate. The reason why i stuck with him about his drug addiction is because i had this strong belief and faith that he would change on his time... and thanks to god he has.We have two kids with each other, a 5 year old and 2 year. I started feeling these yucky feelings of anxiety in June 2007, and between Noevember 2007 and February of this year i have been feeling so weird about my relationship with my boyfriend and i had thought just like you. It was so crazy... But then all of a sudden i realized maybe i was feeling anxious around him was cuz i was <span class="ev_code_RED">fearing</span> that i dont love him and want to be with him but then i do. And 3 weeks ago we kind of got in this big fight and i kicked him out of my house and he just actualy left and i finely finely realized i was crazy and i miss him so much and i felt so bad. So then i called him and wanted him back... LoL.. but yah i blame this anxiety...I still sometimes feel nervous around my boyfriend and i always wonder why?... the questions that pop into my head is "do i love him?" why do i feel like this just around him?"...and i even tell him the honest truth about me feeling like that, and he already knows its my anxiety so he understands i guess. But its so stupid our anixiety is trying to come between us and our loved one.
I hope this helped....
You actually helped me too... u gave me a peace of mind that im not going crazy and its not our boyfriends who are the problem, it's just the anxiety. and reasuring me that im not alone... Thank you
Thank you all...
3 years ago my boyfriend was addicted to drugs and it took me about a year and a half to figure it out, i had my suspisions but then didnt accept it. Since 2005 he has been drug free. The past 3 years has been amazing, i am so greatful to have him in my life. 6 years ago when we first met i already knew it was love at first sight and he was going to be my soul mate. The reason why i stuck with him about his drug addiction is because i had this strong belief and faith that he would change on his time... and thanks to god he has.We have two kids with each other, a 5 year old and 2 year. I started feeling these yucky feelings of anxiety in June 2007, and between Noevember 2007 and February of this year i have been feeling so weird about my relationship with my boyfriend and i had thought just like you. It was so crazy... But then all of a sudden i realized maybe i was feeling anxious around him was cuz i was <span class="ev_code_RED">fearing</span> that i dont love him and want to be with him but then i do. And 3 weeks ago we kind of got in this big fight and i kicked him out of my house and he just actualy left and i finely finely realized i was crazy and i miss him so much and i felt so bad. So then i called him and wanted him back... LoL.. but yah i blame this anxiety...I still sometimes feel nervous around my boyfriend and i always wonder why?... the questions that pop into my head is "do i love him?" why do i feel like this just around him?"...and i even tell him the honest truth about me feeling like that, and he already knows its my anxiety so he understands i guess. But its so stupid our anixiety is trying to come between us and our loved one.
I hope this helped....
You actually helped me too... u gave me a peace of mind that im not going crazy and its not our boyfriends who are the problem, it's just the anxiety. and reasuring me that im not alone... Thank you
Thank you all...
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Anna Burrell
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:55 pm
Shelly9
You are completely right! Its the fear of not loving someone and wanting out. Constantly questioning our relationship. And like you, we have been through a lot together. Sometimes I feel I push him away because I feel emotionally I am hurting him by telling him I love him and not knowing if I still mean it. I guess my question is What do we do. This fear haunts me everyday because I do not know what to do
You are completely right! Its the fear of not loving someone and wanting out. Constantly questioning our relationship. And like you, we have been through a lot together. Sometimes I feel I push him away because I feel emotionally I am hurting him by telling him I love him and not knowing if I still mean it. I guess my question is What do we do. This fear haunts me everyday because I do not know what to do
Hello - I know how you feel as well. I have never experienced anxiety before in my life - even after people passing away and everything else. I grieved normally. Well a couple months ago I switched my birth control to generic, which had higher estrogen. I had no problems with hormones previously, so I figured why not? Well all of a sudden I started getting horrible anxiety and depression, feelings and experiences I had never had. I went to the doctor several times and they pinpointed that my hormones were all off whack from the new pill. They put me on my old pill and things immediately started to get better. Unfortunately, a kind of generalized anxiety stuck with me as a result. My backbone has always been my fiancee Steve. We fell in love in such a wonderful wsy, bought and fixed up a house together, have two wonderful dogs and just a great life in general. We are engaged to be married in October and i'm so excited. Unfortunately, because of the anxiety, i'm stuck with the same fear you are. The "What-ifs" and "How do I know.." It just kills me. What I wouldn't give to have these kinds of thoughts erased from my mind. I know they are not real, they are simply thoughts, and my fiancee has been unbelieveable in supporting me in this tough time. I think I am past stages of panicking from these thoughts, because when I feel like my normal self, I am excitedly in love as always. Now I am just trying to control the thoughts and try to replace them with positive ones. I have the program at home, but I have not started it yet. I don't have anxiety in any other part of my life but that one, but to me that is the scariest thing that could happen, so it would make sense that it would be my anxiety trigger. Let me know how you are doing and how you recover and I will do the same. I refuse to let anxiety take ahold of my life and ruin my beautiful life and relationships.
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mikedsing28
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2008 6:47 pm
Hey alexandra i can totally relate to u but in a different way my scary thought was that i was gay and it scared me so much!It made me so tired after it scared me i could barley function and i could barley make it home after work!Because i was soo tired from having those thoughts!Well u know what it never happened i never kissed a guy IT NEVER HAPENED!! thoughts only thoughts! Well u are using these scary thought to distract yourself from something you dont wanna deal with in your life.And ask yourself would this really happen and ask your boyfriend for further insight and is this thought rational remember these are just thoughts!
I am new to this forum and have found so much comfort in what everyone has to say. I want to describe what I am going through and would love to know if anyone else can relate or PLEASE give advise.
Two months ago everything was perfect to me. I live in Boston but came home because I got very sick. My mom took care of me like a child again and I missed my boyfriend (who is also my best friend) so much and couldn't wait to get back to him Sunday night.
Well that week I suffered my first TERRIBLE anxiety attack. It started as I lay awake in bed with my boyfriend with a pit in my stomach. Next day I was convulsing throwing up heart pounding ugh it was horrible for an entire week. This had never happened to me before and I was trying to figure everything out and pinned it on my boyfriend because he is always the one to make me feel better and for some reason I wanted him around but felt even more anxious going to see him! I think it was because I wanted so badly every time for him to make it back to normal.
That was two months ago and I went through a stage of depersonalization and now I have VERY scary thoughts of not loving my boyfriend. They are all consuming I wake thinking of it and my heart starts pounding. I feel like rather then living in the moment with him I'm looking from the inside out its crazy. I get nervous I won't miss him or that I will break his heart or just that I am out of love with him. ITS THE SCARIEST THING TO ME!! I do have a lot of other things going on like my dad has lung cancer and is going through treatment and my best friend suddenly told me that she is moving away when we were just signing a lease for an apartment and I am starting a new job in June, which is something that usually would really make me nervous. Also before this was happening I found out my boyfriend would be living away from mr for 8 months and I was very sad about that even though I knew I would see him often, I was still very upset about it. Now, none of these things even bother me it is like I don't care, I;m just so scared to lose feelings for my boyfriend because I know he is my soul mate and no one has ever made me happier then him.
I know I just wrote a lot but this is so frightening to me and I just want to feel like myself again and I don't want these thoughts and the scary feelings that maybe they are true to haunt me anymore. Any advice please!?!?[/QUOTE]
I am new to this forum and have found so much comfort in what everyone has to say. I want to describe what I am going through and would love to know if anyone else can relate or PLEASE give advise.
Two months ago everything was perfect to me. I live in Boston but came home because I got very sick. My mom took care of me like a child again and I missed my boyfriend (who is also my best friend) so much and couldn't wait to get back to him Sunday night.
Well that week I suffered my first TERRIBLE anxiety attack. It started as I lay awake in bed with my boyfriend with a pit in my stomach. Next day I was convulsing throwing up heart pounding ugh it was horrible for an entire week. This had never happened to me before and I was trying to figure everything out and pinned it on my boyfriend because he is always the one to make me feel better and for some reason I wanted him around but felt even more anxious going to see him! I think it was because I wanted so badly every time for him to make it back to normal.
That was two months ago and I went through a stage of depersonalization and now I have VERY scary thoughts of not loving my boyfriend. They are all consuming I wake thinking of it and my heart starts pounding. I feel like rather then living in the moment with him I'm looking from the inside out its crazy. I get nervous I won't miss him or that I will break his heart or just that I am out of love with him. ITS THE SCARIEST THING TO ME!! I do have a lot of other things going on like my dad has lung cancer and is going through treatment and my best friend suddenly told me that she is moving away when we were just signing a lease for an apartment and I am starting a new job in June, which is something that usually would really make me nervous. Also before this was happening I found out my boyfriend would be living away from mr for 8 months and I was very sad about that even though I knew I would see him often, I was still very upset about it. Now, none of these things even bother me it is like I don't care, I;m just so scared to lose feelings for my boyfriend because I know he is my soul mate and no one has ever made me happier then him.
I know I just wrote a lot but this is so frightening to me and I just want to feel like myself again and I don't want these thoughts and the scary feelings that maybe they are true to haunt me anymore. Any advice please!?!?[/QUOTE]