Stress Center Peer Support

To stop all the arguments.

I think you need to sit down with your doctor asap and tell him what you've told us.

I certainly don't have any anger issues, never have. I don't feel that I'll snap and do it, I fear that I'll get schitzophrenic and do it.

Hey Derik =) I do not feel you need to see a doctor as I had the same scary obsessive thoughts about Andrea Yates. They are just thoughts, nothing more. The next time you feel as if you need to get up and go, stay and sit next to your kids! Do not move. this is part of therapy for OCD. I have been there and done all what you have. There is absolutly NOTHING wrong with you. It is called pure O. it is scary, sure, but say to yourself, there is nothing wrong with me, it is just my thoughts.

People like this guy in this show do not fear their thoughts, and he was also Scizo too, you are not, lol. Don't let anyone make you think you need to go to a doctor asap. You do not need too. Going to a counsler would be fine I am sure. You and your kids are in no danger! Write to me if you need to. Hang in there!

I agree too Derek.......you need to see a counselor for some CBT training for your scary thoughts but you do not need a bed at the local mental ward and you are not schizo.
I have all of the same thoughts and then some. My mind is very creative and i can conjure the best and worst with everything; it is the worst we get stuck on and always ALWAYS forget about the best case scenario. Are you on session 10 yet? It is very helpful along with session 3.
It is amazing the realize after practice that you can reverse this case and become desensitized. If you work hard with the program and a CBT counselor, the results will definitely come for sure.

Matt

I used to think that if my husband and I were in the kitchen together and I was chopping food, or if I was putting utensils away that I would accidently trip and stab my husband . THIS terrified me . If I had a knife and he was in the kitchen I FREAKED! This was a fear of mine, and my thoughts about it fueled that fear to a higher level.

I KNOW I would NEVER hurt my husband. He is my everything! Since I love him SO very much my greatest fear (or at least this was one of my "greatest" fears) I over thought that thought and just played it over and over again in my mind, which elevated that fear to another level, and it just kept getting worse. I had to reassure myself that I would NOT hurt him, or trip with a knife. I had to talk myself positive when he and I were in the kitchen at the same time and I was chopping food or putting knives away. I knew I needed to expose myself to what I feared in order to SEE that I would NOT hurt him.

From what I have read most schizophrenics are NOT violent. My cousin has schizo-affective disorder with depression. She does some REALLY bizzaro stuff, including not being able to carry on a conversation. She does not have logical, orderly thoughts. You seem to be able to follow along here, so I think you may be safe from that. I too was afraid I would go schizo, geez it is in the family gene pool afterall! But I am not. My cousin cannot judge a bad thing (like wearing welding goggles to keep spiders from laying eggs in her eyes). I do not think you are "there" Derik. It sounds that what you love and fear most is playing in your mind in a negative manner. I agree, some CBT with a therapist may help. It helped me.

Hi sass, lol, we will probably leave it. I see you are very new here. I pray you will learn!

Wow, I have been diagnosed several times. Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder. Let's haul up everyone who has obsessive thoughts and take them to the crazy house. Get on board.

Not a problem Emma. I just think if I had schizophrenia, they would have caught in the past 6 - 8 years. I wasn't saying I have it, but more the fear of, what if I get it.

And to further clarify, I do not hear voices, I do not do what anyone would consider to be strange things. What I get are strictly thoughts.