never thought I'd sink this low again

mack · Post by **mack** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:59 am

I'm really depressed and anxious about this new obsession of mine. The obsession is "what if every time I start to enjoy myself I get in my head and realize that I'm never going to enjoy myself again without being in my head". You know just being able to enjoy myself and not think twice about it and have this obsession. It's hard to describe. It's really got me down. I'm trying to talk to myself and say that it's just the stress I'm going through that has made this obsession, but I feel like even when the stress is alleviated I'll still be stuck on this obsession and I'll never be able to enjoy myself again. I know how I have to talk to myself and what is going on, but I just can't seem to believe that this will ever get better. I'm terrified that I've picked the one obsession that's stronger than I am. I study how to talk to myself through this program and a book called Freedom from Fear by Dr. Leibold, but nothing is seeming to work. Starting to become hopeless. I could sure use some support right now. I'm as low as I've been in five years and I'm starting to snowball. HELP

bna · Post by **bna** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:49 pm

Hey Mack I am sorry to hear that you are having a diffuclt time. Obess. thinking really stinks. It drains us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

When I begin to notice myself beginning to get stuck in circular thinking w/ obess. th. I know it's time for me to pull out the program and review.

I just restarted the program. I finished last April. Started to notice myself having obess. thinking regarding my past and all the mistakes I have made.

I know this is a signal that my stress level is building and that my anxiety level is rising.

The best way to overcome obess./ circular thinking is by underreacting to them.

I hope this helped a little. take care and God Bless.

Mards5 · Post by **Mards5** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:49 pm

Mac..I here you! My nickname is mac 44 y/o male in wisconsin. Anyway, relax, it will pass, we WILL be able to just spontaneously enjoy ourselves angain..I get the exact same obsession, will this really pass? will I get totally bettter? blah blah blah...we will and more importantly we are! we are healing each and everyday sometimes very minutly but regardless we are healing. It is hard to notice as I equate it with weight gain...if you take a snapshot each day you really don't notice a difference, however over time the cumulative effects start to be noticed...we all have these question, self doubt days or moments during the day...try to float with the feeling, don't label the obsession as bad, just that it's a thought...only a thought and it will soon stop scaring you...that is what we like to do...scare ourselves...it's time WE STOP! It's no big deal..this is a bit of a struggle but so what...the roses on the other side will smell better than they EVERE EVER did! Take care my friend..God's Holy Peace to you..rest in Him..he dosen't mind!

mark1 · Post by **mark1** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:53 pm

Hi Mack, I feel for you I am pretty much in the same boat as you. We try to find fears that are the absolute worse and then obsess on them. You are in a big anxiety state right now and the scary thoughts will always stick when you are more anxious. Know this, you have the ability to relax your body. has it ever been better? remember that time. remember a happy time in your life and try to relax your body. The good feelings will appear again.

MelMbrsl75 · Post by **MelMbrsl75** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 1:15 am

I cannot stress this enough, you must just let your obsessions be there and play them down. That has worked for me and it will work for you

DerikForChrist · Post by **DerikForChrist** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 8:11 am

What Melissa said. Let them come, let them go. You are creating your own dragons (obsessions) by highlighting the thoughts you have an anxiety reaction to. Hopelessness does not linger for very long. You're a strong person and once your emotional batteries recharge (good food/sleep/exercise) you will. I can see your hopelessness in your post. Especially the HELP at the end of the message probably gave you a good shot of adrenaline. Break this cycle by accepting your obsessions, thoughts and anxiety.